Hi my name is Jordan. Im no pro at this, but i have a few tricks and a few hangups.

Heres something interesting. im a recovered cancer survivor (i was 19 and went through it until i was about 20) im now 22 and can genuinely say that ive gotten really good at using "the cancer card" to suggest how emotionally vivid my mind is. It makes me seem more mysterious. God i even tear up sometimes, just a tiny tiny bit and then pretend nobody noticed and talk about how its changed my life and what ive done to conquer the emotions associated with it. Afterwards, in every case ive used it and gotten dramatic enough, usually there is like such an emotional connection that building sexual tension is surprisingly easy. This only works because i dont look like ive had cancer. lol

But seriously, any thoughts? (other than the fact that i am a bad guuyYYYYY!)

ps. This is not an opener. This is like, something i transition to after building some trust and broadcasting how sexy i am just a bit ya know

Me too, I dont introduce the subject early on but it does seem to win me points, maybe they are just curious. I'm as recovered as much as is possible from leukemia, in I'm in better shape than 99% of all guys my age.

B

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This isn't a PUA related reply.

But you guys are f*cking awesome. Well done and battling it and coming out on top...and also seems like you've come out better!

It is PUA related if you use it to to build a connection with women with the intention of sleeping with them. I was just curious if anybody had come up with a similar routine exploiting their own personal history to such a vulnerable level.

seriously, if anybody has any stories or things theyve observed in relation to this, id really like to hear.

I really don't think you are doing anything wrong here, every guy should have a few emotional/inspirational stories tucked away ready to tell girls when they have earnt the privilige of getting to know the real you.

Confidence might attract the girls initially but vulnerability will make them really feel something for you. Personally I have made a point of showing a little vulnerability throughout every seduction through story telling and my success rate speaks for itself.

I think, you think, that you are tricking women so they should feel sorry for you because you are putting on an act... But you don't really have to act dude, that actually happened to you, I think you would feel better about it if you just told your story and didn't try to fake any of the emotion etc. attached to it.

I don't know how good an actor you are but I think that by exagerrating you might risk making it all look a bit too surreal but you know you better than I do so you tell me. Either way, I guarantee you will feel so much better about seducing a chick if you feel like she liked you for the real you and the closer you can get to the real you and experience success the more your confidence will improve.

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"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Yeah, I actually did used to feel as if I was tricking them and that I wanted them to feel sorry for me. I am a good actor, but acting is much easier when the feelings are real or if you have felt them in the past.

When I tell this story now, I very much ensure that I only ever do it when Im feeling powerful or positive. It can be equally disruptive bringing it up while unhappy. Its crazy, so that is about the extent that i contrive the situation. So i might manipulate when i say it (depending on my mood and the mood of the room), I might maneuver to transition into talking about it through another topic (pending mood again), and I do minimize negative feelings and maximize what appears to be positive potential while saying it. It used to be that i wanted sympathy, but now, im just kinda aware that most of the time it really cements me as being "intense" "unique" "interesting" "strong". Im just playing it up.

@Kieran Black: You were bang on catching my initial motivation though
also, im just curious how you might go about "showing vulnerability" normally. I know its kind of a weird question. Is it similar in form in any way to what im doing?

Well I think it's tempting to put on a vulnerable act in order to soften a girl up but at the end of the day even if you get the girl, you wont feel like you earned it honestly and you wont feel like you can do it without lying.

What I'm thinking about here is how this affects you in the long run, there are few better feelings than knowing that you are a truly attractive human being, that girls like you for the real you and not an act that you put on.

I'm not saying that 'everybody should be themselves' because lets face it, some peoples selves just suck and they really need to work on a few of the fundamentals before being themselves is a good idea...

Until then they should just be aiming to appear to be the best version of themselves, after practicing this for long enough they begin to enjoy the reactions of others and the feelings of empowerment and they begin to feel comfortable in this new identity without losing touch with who they essentially are.

In answer to your question, I am selective about which vulnerabilities I share, obviously talking about how I once shat my pants on a school hike and it was the most embarassing day of my life, isn't going to turn her on.

However, talking about how much I love seeing my little brothers, how I'm always trying to look out for them and I am really proud of the men they are becoming, whilst showing corny photos, is going to make her melt in her pants.

When sharing a story about vulnerability it is also essential to focus on the emotional story rather than the factual story as this is more likely to illicit an emotional response in her, which is what you are after.

(I think you are probably doing this already) For instance talking about how scared you were having cancer, doesn't make you look like a pussy it just 'humanises' you, it takes you from being a stranger in a bar to a real live person and this is something that is lacking from the PUA robots you see in Neil Straus's 'The Game', many of them have lost touch with their humanity.

When a girl sees you as a human with strengths and weaknesses she begins to stop seeing you as a threat and she is likely to feel confident in opening up with you. Some guys try to distance themselves emotionally from the girls they are seducing because they assume that they will either.

A) Get hurt
or
B) End up in a relationship

However, that is only likely to happen if you are looking for a relationship, in this day and age it is totally acceptable to have fun consensual sex with a girl without it turning into a relationship, the common expectation no longer exists sex=relationship, if you open your mind to it, you can totally have lots of girls who you consider friends but you also occassionally have sex with, it is only when one party decides it's time to put a label on it that shit gets complicated and this is why I start every relationship by saying...

"Just so you know, I'm not looking for a relationship"

I have had sex with well over 100 beautiful women in my lifetime and I can safely say I have NEVER had a girl turn around and say to me...

"Okay well this ends here"

It might be a different story if I was using my local church as my hunting grounds...

I believe that girls have a point of no return with a guy, where they will get to like him and invest so much time and energy in them they will happily overlook him saying something like "Just so you know, I'm not looking for a relationship" (or some variation) because their pride makes them think, well he says that now but things might change and maybe they will, who knows, you might meet the girl of your dreams this way.

It can be a real challenge trying to form connections with total strangers but the best advice I can give you is to listen, rather than memorising material to introduce into a conversation, keep your mind blank and open and use what she is giving you to build awesome conversations.

For example.

"Hey how's your night going?"
"Good"
"Only good, Not amazing?"
"Well you've got me there, my friend is having trouble with her ex so she was late in picking me up blah blah blah"
"Does she do this kind of thing alot?"

etc.

As opposed to...

"Hey you, lets play a game! Let me read your palm?"
"Why?"
"Hold on, I just need to check my notes... Redirect and use DHV"
"Ahh wut?"
"Neg! Umm... your breath smells like paprika!"
"No it doesn't"
"What the hell, WHY are we NOT having sex right now? Vaglover69 guaranteed me this would work, he said he used it on like a gazillion billion times on HB10's and it worked everytime!"

There is no secret formula to having a good conversation, the mistake a lot of guys make is that they talk at girls rather than talking with them. Intuitive women can sense insincerity and indifference in men when they talk to them, they can sense when you are not in the moment, when your mind is elsewhere.

Stories are the only exception to using planned material, everybody loves a great story and the more you tell it, the better it gets. One story can tell a girl more about you as a person than an entire night of dull conversation, so think carefully about what kind of qualities you want to put forth when you tell your story.

For you it looks like, inner strength, humor, down to earthness, passion and vulnerability. To girls those are all really attractive qualities... Anyway this turned into a bit of an essay if you want some really good tips for talking to girls then just read '10 easy tips for talking to girls' http://wayoftheplayer.com/the-best-of-w ... -to-girls/

_________________
"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Cool man. Thanks for sharing that with me. I appreciate the time you spent writing that. I really was looking for a discussion and you certainly delivered. I agree with virtually everything you are saying.

Ps, i have a friend that crapped his pants hiking once and he came back shirtless. It was pretty funny, hes a good sport, and that does certainly make an awkward story lmao.

There was definitely a while where I couldnt have a conversation with SOMETHING that would come up and trigger suspicion that something strange was occurring in my life. It was hard to have casual conversation when the last year of my life was so involved in this heavy topic... so i kinda felt forced into talking about it and if i wanted to appear confident i had to embrace it, but again, if i said it wrong, it was scary and appeared ugly. it kind of forced me to "use the card"... it wasnt until i could recreate my life that i could talk about it in a positive way consistently. So... i really have made an effort to be a legitimate real person before dumping that. I do things intuitively and naturally, but the damn story just works so well that even knowing that i can just pull it out and impact their minds gives me such a huge confidence boost lmao.

anyways, thanks again.

Well you went through that hell man, the way I see it there is nothing wrong with turning a shit experience into something positive, you are just using the situation to your advantage, that's not immoral it's opportunistic.

If life gives you lemons then make lemonade.

By the way I didn't really shit myself hiking that was just a convenient example lol... that would be the worst thing ever, your poor friend.

_________________
"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

You guys have a good dialog going on, good going

Sorry re my typos and choppy writing, virtual small keyboard here, not easy to get it down

I think that being a c survivor has somethingof the lance effect, he helped the perception some

I definately dont lead with my illness, actually it doesnt come up most times but eventually I feel a need to level, cll is the most common leukemia, lots of people have it and dont know it till a routine blood test catches it, then if its within certain levels you just go to whats called watch and wait mode. Mine was far enough along that I had to have chemo for six months, nkt all bad since that period added to my war stories. Ive always been sort of a kick ass guy so the chemo baRely dented me, most people never knew I was sick. I would do 20 miles on the excercise bike and do a work out routine every day I was in the hospital that first chemo round.

So that whole thing is just part of my story, being a good story teller is good for getting things going with the women, my stories happen to be all true, like clubs in the golf bag.

So as of right now, there are about a dozen women that would love to either marry me or have a ltr, I cant be exclusive so whether they know it of not they are fwb. Then there are the ones in the past, many still vulnerable to my charms be them what they are. Finally there are those on the hook, I love the hunt and the victory, the hardest part for me overall is moving on and hurting their feelings, disappointing them.

So when I joined this site last week, part of if was in search of skme therapy I think, I want to keep up they hunts, dont want to get bogged down for qjite a while yet, know it will very well happen at some future point but for n ow I just want to meet, seduce and make love all those variations of attractive, smart, capable, fun, active and need I mention, very fuckable women out there.


And having cll is just a small part of it, it can come back any time or worse, lead to someting more serious, for all I know my clock may be ticking and im going to make the most of life. And just remember, that clock is really ticking for all of us. B

I just wanna say that anyone who gets cancer and kicks its ass is worth a round of applause. That is truly incredible.