How to get at a girl im kind of in the friend/flirting zone?



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:05 pm 
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I know your better off trying to get with a completely brand new girl instead of a girl you already have a relationship as a best friend, but i guess this will prove to myself that i still have game with other girls then my ex who kinda dumped me (cause parents didnt let). But yea, as much as she still likes me i gotta move on and this other girl im close with tells me bout this guy she really likes at the same time flirts with me too. Today we literally made sex jokes and talked about sex only and got closer. I haven't known her too long but in the short amount of time, i guess we got close after my ex.

Basically my question is, even though she talks bout this guy shes in love with and wants to rape, worth goin for her?
(she tells me all the things she likes about him and how hes super dominant but at the same time feminine or something but yea, i guess cant i use this to try and hook it up?)
And if shes worth trying to get with, whether for hook up or gf, any tips on getting girls where your in the half friend/flirting zone?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 5:50 pm 
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Make sure you do not care if you lose her as a friend. These kinds of things very seldom work out and there's basically no way to salvage the friendship at that point.

If you want her anyway, stop talking about the guy who she is going after. If she brings him up, change the subject. Work on escalating sexually and make sure there's plenty of kino between the two of you. If she's the kind of girl who thinks touching is fine for "just friends", make it more sexual.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:56 pm 
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Good advice.. she's a chill girl but things she says makes me regret goin for her though. Basically she likes tall chubbier/buff guys, but im average height but but pretty muscular in a lean way, but this isn't a problem. Also the guy she likes is supposably a dick when talkin to her which she likes at the same time a softy, and she could connect well with him. I started being a lot more dominant with her and shes loving it, but still can't tell whether were in friend zone or not. I'm guessing i should stop talkin bout my ex too, and make her chase me i guess.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 9:47 pm 
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Also the guy she likes is supposably a dick when talkin to her which she likes at the same time a softy, and she could connect well with him.
This is the part you need to pay attention to. Reframe it though, this is the wrong way to think about the mindset, even if this is how she described it to you.

She wants a guy who takes what he wants. If she disagrees with his decision, she thinks consciously that "he's being a dick" for having his way, but subconsciously she wants it. If she agrees with his decisions, such as when they're laying in bed after sex, he's a "softy" because there is no resistance to plow over, their moods are aligned.

The mistakes guys make when being dominant are often using "dominant" behavior at times when it isn't necessary. They are mean, belittling, or unnecessary confrontational, because they want to fit the image that they think attracts women.

Women aren't attracted to an image of a "guy who does this or that," though they often think they are. They may tell you they "like guys who are dicks" because they've observed that behavior in themselves in the past or present. Or they may tell you they like "nice guys" because the image of a nice guy is more immediately appealing. If a girl tells you that, she's probably lying. Glad we know the secret.

Take what you want. If a girl is faced with clear and obvious intentions, literally "you're sexy and I want you," she can only say yes or no, and she'll never have resentment over it. (The trouble comes in when you are incongruent, not signifying the same belief in your words and actions. If you want her, be both physically and verbally direct.)


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:06 pm 
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Yea i dont be dominant to the point where i dont give a shit bout her and stuff, but its hard to explain. For example, if she tells me to hurry up, i tell her not to tell me what to do, and she laughs and likes it. And i do other things similar to that and she senses its a joke too probably. But yea, at first i would always talk to her like a normal friend, tell her truth and act normal, and then everyone kept asking me why were not together, so i guess im testing her out see if we could be together without making it worse that we wont be friends anymore. I started flirting with her more, more sex jokes and touching, and more negging. Kinda working but i feel like it needs something else.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:16 pm 
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Yea i dont be dominant to the point where i dont give a shit bout her and stuff, but its hard to explain. For example, if she tells me to hurry up, i tell her not to tell me what to do, and she laughs and likes it. And i do other things similar to that and she senses its a joke too probably. But yea, at first i would always talk to her like a normal friend, tell her truth and act normal, and then everyone kept asking me why were not together, so i guess im testing her out see if we could be together without making it worse that we wont be friends anymore. I started flirting with her more, more sex jokes and touching, and more negging. Kinda working but i feel like it needs something else.
it doesn't need something else, mystery method is a fuck her in 2 days system, not a fuck her in 2 years system, girls only need some comfort and a sense of what is congruent to your personality, once they have this sense they know if they like you, and it is really likely that she has known for a long time if you like her, pussy footing around it thinking you can change her opinion of you somehow with some dhv's and negs is wrong, she already knows at this point if she would sleep with you or not, a lack of escalation will only hurt you, not help you, just go for it, it is a yes or a no, just don't get needy about it


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:16 am 
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So basically we both know each other well enough to know whether we like each other or not, but then shes a super complicated girl. She tells me all the time she doesn't even know what she wants, one day she hates this guy another day shes in love.. so i guess if i get her on the right day things might work, or might not but its not a big deal and were both down to earth people, nothing will get weirded out.. but so basically i should just go for it one day, flirt with her and let it lead to a kiss or have a date planned out, cuz i dont think im in the mood for a relationship now.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:19 pm 
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So basically we both know each other well enough to know whether we like each other or not, but then shes a super complicated girl. She tells me all the time she doesn't even know what she wants, one day she hates this guy another day shes in love.. so i guess if i get her on the right day things might work, or might not but its not a big deal and were both down to earth people, nothing will get weirded out.. but so basically i should just go for it one day, flirt with her and let it lead to a kiss or have a date planned out, cuz i dont think im in the mood for a relationship now.
she doesn't know what she wants, but do you know what you want?, is she the one making all the choices between the two of you?, are you escalating?, trying to get her alone?, trying to have sex with her?,

there is this terrible thing called asd (anti slut defense), you have to take responsibility for escalation, even if she knows what she wants, she is not allowed to take responsibility for it or it makes her feel slutty, she knows by now if it is a yes or a no, resistance on her part should be expected, stop wussing it up, and go for it, believe in your self, and it eventually ends in a yes or a no, procrastinating and not showing intent only hurts you the longer you wait, the longer you don't have sex, the more comfortable she is with the idea that the two of you don't have sex, the longer you wait to touch her, the more comfortable she is with not being touched by you, the longer you wait to flirt, the more comfortable she is with not flirting, eventually when the comfort is there, it is incongruent for you to escalate, she knows what you are like, and it doesn't fit with who she thinks you are, it is weird, if that happens you need to back off until she is not sure what is going on with you, show her you have changed and the new you escalates and tries to fuck her, procrastination from fear of rejection won't help you, escalation is attractive, being a pussy is not, find confidence from within and take a shot, if it works out, awesome you got the girl you wanted, if it doesn't work out, awesome you can go find a girl that is actually interested and not leading you on/wasting your time,

don't be concerned with winning her over, don't think you need her, or that you won't be able to find a girl as good as her again that likes you, go for what you want what she wants is not important, be considerate of how she feels, but make your choices for yourself, not for her, sometimes you have to take risks and just jump into the unknown, confidence is being sure, unconfidence is being unsure

she is either compliant or isn't compliant, what she says is not that important, words are just words, actions speak louder then words, you invite her out she has an excuse every time, but flirts cause she can't avoid seeing you in person sometimes, then she is not interested, if she is rude to you all the time, but will meet up with you and be alone, then she is probably interested, what she does is much more important then what she says, and on that note, getting a kiss means nothing, getting her phone number means nothing, getting 1 date means nothing, to get her really invested in you, have sex, she could go out any night of the week and get a makeout it will not be as important to her as it seems to be to you, girls love kissing and they tend to do it alot, it is not a big deal

GOOD LUCK


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:29 pm 
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haha good advice, ill try it out then post my results


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