I'm a pretty good-looking and confident natural who meets girls regularly. Three weeks ago, though, I met a girl I connected with. We're now on hold, and I'm wondering how or if you'd go forward.

...

Story. We met at a bar, early in the night, and then were together all night. She ditched a date-number-two with some other guy to stay with me. She made a jokes about how, in her group of friends, she's the one with intimacy issues, and "it's crazy that this is happening right now." She's very cute.

She came home with me and we had awesome sex until seven in the morning. ("Awesome" was her word -- and I agree :))

We had breakfast and went on a long walk hand-in-hand the next day. We were gonna see each other that night, but she cancelled, saying she was exhausted.

We text, and there's sexy-talk.

We met for a quick bite to eat a couple days later. I only had an hour. The connection was still there and just as strong.

We text, and there's sexy-talk.

We now go on a "proper" date. It's fine, but for reasons that don't matter the last ten minutes were awkward. I was pretty AFC in my goodnight kiss.

At this point her texts take a little longer to come -- but when they do, they're still good. We make a loose plan to see each other, but then she doesn't write for two days. I let it go.

Then she writes: "Sorry I've been away. I needed some time alone. It was moving so fast and I don't think I'm ready for that. Please please please don't hate me."

I reply: "I understand. And I'm glad you told me. You can write me when you're re-charged, and we can see how it goes."

She replies: "You're sweet. I will do that."

I say: "It's also what's best for me. Goodnight."

That was about two weeks ago. I've met girls in between, but as I said, I really connected with her.

What would you do???

Two weeks is a long time after all that when quickly.

I'd call her, and set up a long night out: go to two or three different place. That will "trick" her brain to think that you both spent more time together in the past two weeks.

When you see her, smile, and act as if you actually did see her in the past couple weeks. Say hello, and kiss her on the spot, don't wait until the middle or end of the date, that's very AFC-like.

Keep us posted.

You felt connected with her because she fits your profile of an ideal woman. That's why you hunt them, those kind of women.

My opinion, take some time.. recharge yourself and then see where it goes. Move on for the time being.

≠ LD

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Jacob, why would you re-approach now, given that she basically said it was too much too fast and she needed space? Do you do that? (I'm actually interested in your answer.)

Lyrical, I usually do what you say -- move forward. But I liked her more than usual, and we connected better than usual. Assuming I don't hear form her, do you think it matters, whether I wait two, three, six, eight, or fifteen weeks before re-approaching?

Joe, I would re-approach because it seemed like things started off well. You did leave a long time for her to think (two weeks): if she actually was thinking, her answer may be made up, and it's greatly time for you to know that answer, even if you might be scared of knowing it.

Also, from how things started and how it seemed you guys connected, the perspective is that she might be your gf, not just a random hook up. I would then fight more for it, and call her to arrange a new meeting.

However, if she doesn't pick up / return your call / seems to have lost interest, then I would consider it is time to next her.

It's funny. Women tell one another not to sleep with a guy the first night, because he'll lose respect for her and it will kill the chances for a relationship. But the reality is that it's the woman who loses respect for a guy who still contacts her after sleeping with her the first night. Because on a conscious or subconscious level, his interest in her is a demonstration of lower value. She only likes him if he has lost respect for her. He's only attractive if he's doing the same thing he did to her to other women.

Now I'm not saying all women are like this, but I do think that's what happened in this case.

I find that when you have a good first encounter with a woman (as you did here), you want to mirror that experience as best you can in the next encounter. So if it happened during the day, make the next meeting during the day. If it was a spontaneous thing at night (as in this case), make it another spontaneous thing at night. So text message her at midnight or so. "Just saw a girl who looked like you" is a classic, although it might be overused by now. There's a good chance that she's out with some AFC, missing the kind of immediate attraction she had with you. And instead of waiting for that chump to make a move, she's liable to hop in her car and head to your place.

Good stuff guys. I plan to write her this weekend. I'll update.

This was long ago, but what happened confirmed a general belief of mine, so here's what happened ...

Remember that we had a very good ten days of sex and dates and sexy messages, then she said it was going too fast and she needed some time. I said okay. A month went by.

I planned to take tenonine's two pieces: to mirror our first (awesome) encounter, and the "just saw a girl who looked like you" line. It was Friday night, I was out -- then I actually met a girl with the same hair, same glasses, same name, so it wasn't even a lie. Pretty cool.

"Just met a girl who reminds me of you. Makes me think it's been a long time:)"

She never replied. So the belief this confirms to me is, when a girl "kind of" ends something with you, it isn't "kind of":)

But there's always exceptions to the rule, and you never know if you don't try. Just try in a non-effacing, non-needy, non-value-losing way. I think I did that.

Tough break, man. But you've got a great attitude about it, and that's the important thing.

There are any number of possibilities. This could be a girl with low self-esteem who loses respect for anyone who likes her. It could be a case where she's just in a stage of her life where she wants sex more than a relationship, and maybe she bailed because she didn't want you to get attached -- or she was scared she'd get attached.

Personally, I'm trying to get better at building connection with women after an initial attraction, and maybe you need to up your game in that aspect, too? The key is to gain a genuine curiosity in what makes her unique -- I know it sounds corny. But women can tell by the questions you ask them and how you respond to their stories if you're truly interested in her whole self or just killing time before the next shag.

Anyway, thanks for circling back to give us the update. And sorry my advice didn't produce a better outcome.