An old high school crush contacted me before x-mas break, so I decided to try to hang out with her and enjoy redoing the fate I had with her half a decade go.

My weakness has always been setting up Day 2s, and it has struck again.

+I ask her out X-mas shopping with me before I even get back for break. She agrees.
+I ask her when I'm actually back. She's busy.
+I suggest another day. She's busy.
+I wait a week, then ask her schedule. Doesn't respond.
+I wait half a month and tell her I'm leaving for college soon, she wants to hang out.
+I invite her out. Doesn't respond.
+Responds a day later asking when we are going to hang out. I am starting to receive stress lines on my face. I pitch a hang out, she happens to be out at dinner.

Now I'm ready to just give up. I've already embarrassed myself enough. I clearly have shown that I'm incapable of making plans with women, even when they walk into my lap. I have one more chance tomorrow, but I just want to leave it alone, I feel I already have screwed it up with this woman.

In retrospect, what do you think I could have done differently to avoid somehow asking her out when she is busy every time?

What would an Alpha male do in such a circumstance?

in what manner was the contact that she initially made with you? I usually let it cool off if i do not get contacted, usually giving 2-3 day grace period pending on the girl.

what usually works around the holidays is the "supposed mass text" of "happy new year/merry christmas". She will think it is sent to everyone in your phone book will respond and you could of said how she is doing and follow up on conversation.

you never want to make yourself "too available" it means you have nothing valuable to do with your time. Even if you do not have ANY plans at least make it seem like you are busy and that you are making time for her.

by what you put down i imagine it will probably be a lost cause, but for future projects don't let past emotions cloud your judgement. Even if the girl is a 10 treat her like a 5 because when all else fails she is JUST a girl, like any other she has insecurities... If she texts dont text her right back wait a few mins/hours. Don't shower her in compliments, etc.

Great, you have identified your weakness. Now address it. Go out to as many dates as you can. Go out with girls you have no intention of sleeping with, go out with your friends, go out to have fun, go out to different places, go out to escalate, go out...

And I think I know why you have that weakness. You are afraid that she won't be interested in "real" you, that you don't have anything to offer and some similar stupid limiting beliefs.

As for this girl, doesn't matter. You did the best you could in that moment. New girls and new embarrassments will come. Embrace them. Learn from them.

Best of luck,
Defy

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I have to return some videotapes...

I was at college and she facebook messages me (we where already friends on there). I ignore her, assuming she is just being friendly since she hasn't talked to me in 6 years, but she keeps messaging me again and again without my input. So I assumed an IOI, and started flirting.

I feel like I've done many of the things you suggested in your post. I haven't been as clingy as I usually would because I don't have a crush on her anymore, I can just treat her like a normal woman I'm hitting on. Everytime she denies my plans, I leave her alone for a week, half a month at one point.

But anyways, if she was interested, she wouldn't keep making it hard for me. I'm trying once more today, then just leaving her alone. Life is already stressful enough without me having to reface my game problems.

I just wanted some advice for the future so I can stop playing phone tag (lets hang out, okay, this day?, no, this day?, no...) with every woman I try to get on a Day 2, because it's frustrating me to no end.

Usually for day 2's i set up something while we are still on day 1 when you meet them. I joke around and set a preset date in their mind about an activity that we should do in the near future. For example talking to a girl she says she loves thai food, i can say "i know this great thai place we should go sometime, how is next week?" don't even give her time to answer fully before you barrage her with more questions/demands in a timed manner. In effect you aren't asking you are instructing/telling them the way things will be. Not all girls will be into this but a lot of girls i have encountered love for the guy to be assertive/in control even if they do not admit it right away.

So the day 2 follow up would be something like "i'm open thursday so we can go to that thai place together". If she says she isn't available you can say "well okay what day are you available? i don't move around plans for just anyone but you are kind of cute... kind of lol".

When it comes to talking to women or even in a broader sense when talking to ANYONE you achieve better results when you let people THINK they are in control. If a person believes that they made their own choices they feel fulfilled, but in reality you set it up so that there is only ever the conclusion that you are aiming for... they just never saw it.

Don't be afraid to try and fail its okay because you learn from every mistake you make (hopefully). For example for NYE i went to a club/party with a couple of friends brought along my friend who is a BIG guy about 350lbs 6+ft. He doesn't know much about the game he is slowly starting to work on his confidence etc. BUT he talked/danced with more girls than my friend who is 5'11 with a fit build because my other friend didn't take any risks.