Hey guys

I'm new here, and also new to the whole pick up 'game'. I wont go into a lengthy introduction about who I am, and what I want to achieve because this post isn't the place for it.


My question is this - GOALS! How do some of you set and measure your success? and also what goals do you set yourselves to ensure that you are constantly evolving and achieving? Both with your approach and with women

The reason I ask Is because setting yourself goals and then doing whatever it takes to achieve them is the best way to progress (in any field) in my opinion. For example simply seeing a hot girl and saying 'Should I talk to her?' is not enough, because as soon as you start 'questioning' and saying 'Nah, she looks busy' or 'she looks unhappy' you are immediately trying to talk yourself out of having to do it and in a sense you are basing your actions on external factors rather than 'what you want to achieve'.

Whereas, if you have a goal driving you like 'talk to 4 women today' and you've only spoken to 3 already, you will talk to this last one to achieve your goal, not because she is going to permit it, because you want to achieve your goal. Thinking this way makes your success down to your actions and not others. It's kind of like an illusion in a sense I guess, because you gotta trick your mind into doing it otherwise he will say no, if you base your approach on logical/external factors, not internal ones.

It would be useful to note that i'm coming at this as a total newbie, who is trying to think of ways to 'force' himself to approach women to begin with. I will reach a stage eventually where i'm sure i will just naturally want to talk to women, and will not need to kick myself from behind, but i am not at that stage yet.


So yeah, any tips, ideas or suggestions for this kind of process would be appreciated.

Thanks

Rob

Your reasoning is pretty correct. We tend to make these excuses that seem completely rational and logical in our head when its just us fearing to fail or be embarrassed.

To make goals see where your current skills are and compare them to where you want them to be. Ask yourself 'want do I want I really want from this process?','what are my current strengths and weaknesses?','where do I need to improve?','what can I do to improve on this both right now & in field?' Continue to look to the next level or paradigm of success ( as David D. puts it).

For me, I measure my success based on how far I've come, how close I am to my short and long term goals and to what lessons Ive learned. Again like David D says never compare your sucess to others.

This is what I do and it has really helped me. I recommend looking at AFC Daniels Learning journal for an example of making goals in the field reports.

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"The bird sets itself on fire… and in the embers is an egg. In order to do great things, you've got to recreate yourself again ,and you can’t do that holding to a glory or a failure from yesterday. "

Where do you find these journals?

In the field reports, most of them are sticky-ed