Hi guys,

Starting this journal is something i've been deliberating on for quite some time now. I've become somewhat of a lurker these past few months, i've read hundreds of different posts and found some awesome stuff. ITS NOW TIME TO TAKE ACTION.

A background to me: I am an average looking 23 year old living in the UK. I still live with my parents and have recently set up a business in property with a guy i've been working with for a couple of years, so my income is pretty low for some time whilst we get this thing off the ground. My nose is a too big, my eyebrows are dark and thick, I am skinny as shit (I weigh 130 pounds at a height of about 5'8" - thats just over 9 stone for you English dudes). I dress ok but there's a lot of shit I won't wear - my arms are pretty embarrassing so T-shirts are a no, i'm fussy with jeans because most make my legs look like matchsticks, and most of the fashionable stuff other dudes wear makes me look like a small boy - so I'm far from the cool guy of the group (based on looks).

THAT BEING SAID: I am not 100% AFC. I've F Closed about 30 chicks, i'd say about 5 of them are HB9 or above and the other are no less than HB6. So I do ok and I know that somewhere deep down I have good inner game.


My problem is this: I am SHIT at closing girls outside of my social circle. I have never gamed and met a girl that isn't already part of my social group and turned it into a f close. I have ZERO day game and the majority of my friends are AFCs so I also have no role model either. I often take the easy option and end up number closing average girls that deep down I'm not really interested in and this is BORING, AFC BEHAVIOUR.


My goals:

This is the most important part. I am not undertaking this mission just to get girls. There's a lot more to it as far as im concerned, and PUA to me plays a strong part in making me a better all round person. So my goals in order of importance:

- Become completely comfortable in myself at all times: I don't want to have to try on ten different clothing possibilities before I leave my house for a night out. The way I look has a huge influence on my feelings and ultimately turns me into a PUSSY. This needs to stop.

- Have as much control as possible over my feelings: I want to be able to understand why I feel certain ways and what steps I need to take to influence feelings in the better direction.

- Be a confident alpha male: I avoid drama as much as possible, if a fight starts I walk away, I steer clear of disagreement and get insanely nervous when faced with conflict. My heart beats crazy, my mind turns to mush and whatever comes out of my mouth ends up being a mess. I want to feel strong when faced with conflict

Now to the good stuff:

- Be able to approach and girl I deem attractive without feeling like a complete chicken shit: I am FED UP of walking through town and seeing hot girls and not being able to talk to them. There are just so many females out there asking to be seduced and I am a complete PUSSY by not even trying to do that.

- Go out with my friends in the knowledge that I will at least K close a girl WITH NO DOUBT IN MY MIND: The ultimate goal is F close of course but I don't like to run before I can walk.

- Have more freedom over which girls I close and which I dont: I do not want to have to just take what I can get. I WANT CHOICE.

- To have any number of HBs in non exclusive relationships at any one time: YES, I am greedy and YES, I am an attention seeker. Happy to admit that.

- To be able to CONSISTENTLY close new HBs - Self explanatory.

- To be able to diminish my AA as much as possible - I find it crazy how much AA can FUCK WITH YOUR HEAD.

- To be able to go out solo and pick up chicks, meet new people and HAVE FUN

Steps i've taken so far

-Read 'The Game' by Neil Strauss (How I initially discovered PU)
-Joined this forum
-Read 'The Mystery Method' once and found it hard to take in the varying information and science behind PU.
-Experimented with some nightgame and had varying results. Ultimately found it hard with friends around (they don't know I'm into PU and would FUCK UP my social value if they found out - plus they can be major cockblocks). The best I got with this was one k close in about 6 nights out. A couple numbers here and there but other than that nothing special.
- Just ordered the Stylelife Challenge by Neil Strauss. CAN ANYONE GIVE ME THEIR THOUGHT ON THIS? Is it worth doing?
- Just ordered 'Introducing NLP' by Joseph O'Connor and John Seymour. I will let you know how this reads. Again any reviews??

Steps to take /next

-Go out and do Chief's Newbie Challenge. Shitting myself about this already!
-Find myself a good wingman. Already working on this with a good friend of mine who is the only other person I know that has looked at PU. I could do with finding more wingmen though (Nottingham PUA's hit me up!)
-Join the Gym and work on my appearance. I don't want to be a fucking gimp when it comes to taking my clothes off. Plus I am a big believer that by looking better you feel better and therefor GAME BETTER.
- Better my diet. Chicken dippers with chips and beans is NOT the way forward (it just tastes so fucking good!)
-Become more independent by doing things myself i.e. cooking, cleaning, washing etc.
-Move out as soon as I am financially stable enough to do so. The logistics of being at home are cockblocking me HARD at the moment.

The date today is 29/12/11. On New Years Eve I am going out to do Chief's Newbie Challenge (in the day) to prepare myself for a good night out. I am writing this here so that I have to go and do it and if i don't then you can all make me aware that i am a MASSIVE PUSSY. I will post the results on this blog and also on the Newbie Challenge thread.

Any feedback on this post and future posts would be priceless stuff guys. I need the motivation and writing dead end posts will only kill that drive! Im happy to commit to helping others once I am a PUA myself!

Let the Gaaaaaaaammmmmeeeeee. Begin....

Bearer[/i][/b][/u]

Just some clarification: that newbie challenge was originally by the person I cited in that Newbie Challenge thread. It's not mine.

If you want to start feeling better and more comfortable about your body image and how you look, the most effective way to do that is to actually change your body! I recommend hitting the gym with an regimen on bulking up.

Apologies for the mix up.

Tomorrow is my first day in the field. I'm heading into town to pick up some new clothes and do the newbie challenge. Im also going to meet a friend for a drink and shoot the shit. He's into PU a bit so I might also direct him to this post so he can follow / join me on my quest!

First thing in the morning I plan on washing my car and having a good clear out of all my christmas shit. It's amazing how doing small productive things like that can improve your inner being and put you in a better mood. Then i'll hit the town.

My Goals

- Say hello to at least 100 different people
- Do not focus on individuals and make sure to include sets (I imagine sets to be harder as they can fuck up your flow if they all react badly and cause a scene)
- Make small talk whenever possible and hold the interaction for as long as i can(i find this VERY HARD at the moment).

Wish me luck! I'll be right back here with the results as soon as I can.

Bearer

Ok so I just got back from town after FAILING.

Why does that shit feel so hard? Here's how it went down:

I got up this morning, washed my car and did a few other things to keep me energetic and motivated. I was feeling good on the drive into town, quite relaxed listening to some of my favourite music.

I parked up the car and headed to the lift in the car park to take me to the shops. Now usually I just take the stairs because a) I hate waiting for lifts and b) They're fucking awkward as hell! But this time I made a purposeful effort to wait for the lift and interact with whoever was already in it when the doors opened. Turned out to be a middle aged couple, I simply said 'Are you going to the shops' , they agreed and then after followed some awkward silence.

The lift doors open at the shops and there's a HB8 waiting for it, as I walk off I hold eye contact and smile at her. She smiles back and then just as I walk past her I manage to squeak out a fucking awful 'Hi' - man I felt like a chump after that. I then walk around the corner and two HB7.5s are waiting to pay their parking. Again I hold eye contact with one of them and do exactly the same, gay ass 'Hi' squeak as I'm walking past and then not even turning round to check out her reaction.

Why am I such a fucking pussy when it comes to this? I DO NOT LACK CONFIDENCE, I talk to different people every day in my business and everything's fine, and yet when I want to start gaming these bitches everything fucks up!

Anyways I ended up saying Hi to about 5 girls in the space of, say 1 and a half hours. I met my friend and then left for home.

The only positives I can pull from this:

- I am definitely better at keeping eye contact with people than I thought. This is something I've been working on for a few weeks now.
- I did have a 5 minute chat with a hired gun as I was paying for my clothes - we spoke about New Year's eve plans etc, again good eye contact (which was hard considering she had some BIG ASS titties).
- As I was queuing for my clothes I reached out and accidently knocked a shirt of the rack next to me. I knew subconsciously there were two broads behind me in the queue so I made one of them hold my shit whilst I put the shirt back. That felt good and she seemed to COMPLETELY SHIT HER PANTS when I asked her and went all quiet and nervous which boosted my ego a bit.
- I am pretty sure I can approach people ok but only when armed with the confidence to know what to say to create a fun interaction.

Sticking points:

- My mind takes over my body, I start having negative thoughts and this fucks up my actions and turns me into a woman.
- I have been seriously over thinking this challenge for some time and it’s altered my perception of it in a negative way.
- I completely shit my pants when it comes to sets. My mind consistently tells me that I’m gunna get blown out and made to look like a massive dick.
- I cannot pluck up the courage to say hello to someone without eye contact. So many HBs just seemed to be going about town doing their business, on the phone, looking down etc. How do I approach someone like that?
- I’ve been gaming a HB8 (my sisters friend) recently and I cannot work her out! Usually I’m a pretty good judge of character but she’s playing hard ball and not giving too much away. There’s the possibility she could be a oneitis and this is fucking up my game with other chicks.
- Day game seems 50 times harder than night/club game. What are people’s opinions on that?

Actions going forward

- Continue with the Newbie Challenge WHEREVER I am. Don’t over think it and risk fucking it up again. Do it on lunch breaks, when walking to the shop, EVERYWHERE until it’s not a big deal saying Hi to god damn anyone.
- Freeze out HB8 and demolish any risk of her becoming a oneitis.
- Read Chiefs Guide to Outer Game and start working it TONIGHT.
- Join the Gym (this will be done early next year).
- Grow some fucking balls!

Any suggestions on what other stuff I need to do to move forward would be appreciated guys.

I’ll be starting the stylelife challenge as of next week.

Has anyone done it? If so does it work? I don’t want to waste my time.

Bearer

I just read this, and good luck to you on this journey, I am sure you will succeed.

With this Alpha male thing, I don't believe you need too face any conflict, i understand you want to change from being nervous when it happens. (If you have strong inner game and inner confidence, your mind shouldn't go to mush)

I personally walk away from conflict because i can't be bothered to fight or argue with anyone because that's going to wreck MY Day/Night. I don't consider myself a scared little girl, If someone REALLY pisses me off then i will Get confrontational. But that's just me.


Good luck Dude.

Thanks Hopeful. Perhaps I didnt make myself clear regarding conflict but you've hit the nail on the head there. I'm not a fighter I've never really seen the point in messing up peoples faces when I can walk away, and I'm quite good at keeping my temper when I have to.

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE. 2012 is going to be a big year for me. It's make or break for our business, I'm going to join the gym over the next few days and attempt to stick to a healthy diet and put on some weight. It's also time to gain more independence! I'll be making more of my own meals and doing things for myself more over the coming months. Me and my buddy have agreed to start going out more at night and staying sober whilst we try to pick up chicks. This is a beig step in iteself for me because I always drink when I go out and I enjoy the confidence I have after drinking (even though I know its my mind tricking me!).

I met with HB8 yesterday for 5 minutes and she asked me to stay with her the night at my sisters. So guess what. I BURNT HER. I'd already made plans with my friends to go out and I wasnt going to just drop everything to be with her. She told me she'd found herself attracted to me lately, and I do like her and think about her too. I WILL NOT allow her to be a oneitis though. I want choice. I want to learn. I want to better my life. I arranged to see her tonight instead but got a message from my sister this morning saying HB8 didnt go home and my sister has her phone, so I've heard nothing from her all day! Weird.

I didnt really concentrate on PU last night because I was out with friends and just wanted to have fun. A few things I did work on though:

- Maintained relaxed body language (something i've been working on for a few weeks now). It's amazing how this also relaxes me mentally too.
- Hold eye contact when talking to people.
- Started kino'ing EVERYONE more. I'm generally ok at this and its interesting how much kino people will accept without thinking I'm a weirdo.
- Continue working on the newbie challenge but in the bar! I said hello to a HB7 as I walked past her and she literally eye fucked me for about 15 mins afterwards. I could see her in my peripheral checking me out, but AA fucked me up! Then one of my buddys ended up fucking her! Haha

Tomorrow i'm going to spend time preparing myself for work this coming week. I also want to draw up a schedule of my working / social week so I can plan my meals and when I work out etc and know what nights I have free to go out and practice PU.

I've read through Chief's guide to outer game and I'm going to be trying it in the field, simply opening with 'Hi' and introducing myself with a handshake. I'll try and stay in set for as long as possible and see where I can take the interactions. I'm excited!

Here's a list of some of the qualities I look for in a woman in no particular order (having this list in mind should help me with conversational threads):

- Funny
- Intelligent
- Confident
- Stong minded
- Kind
- Compassionate
- Adventurous
- Slightly weird (!)
- Good looking
- Well groomed
- Openly sexual
- Classy
- Stylish
- Well mannered
- Happy
- Loyal

And I could go on! I guess I don't know EXACTLY what it is I want in my ideal woman. One thing I know for sure though is that I want to be able to pick up women succesfully so I can find that out.

I feel like im doing the right things and taking the right steps to improve my life. I'm excited about the year to come! Can you guys think of any other steps I can take that may help me ongoing?

Bearer