I'm in a bit of a situation...

I met this girl maybe 2 months ago and we only hang out with either her friends or my friends, never alone. I really like her, you could say its love, lust, an infatuation, but honestly she is the one I want. I've asked her friends what her situation is and they told me that she was recently in a 5 year relationship which ended around 7 months ago and they say that she's ready to move on, but she's not there yet. I asked her out even before I knew this and that is exactly what she told me - that she's not ready to move on. Plus she said... I've only known you for 2 weeks its a bit early.

I screwed up. After only 2 weeks I asked her out, I told her I like you, I want to go out with you, etc... I showed too much interest too soon. The reason I did that is because I'm in a pressing situation. Here is my dilemma:

In 4 months I am going to have the option to be promoted and be transferred to another city. Now if I had never met this girl I would take that promotion, move, and not think twice about it. But now that I know this girl, I only want her. In 4 months time if I should be lucky enough to be with her (it doesn't matter if we're physical or its the first date) - if I'm with her, we're going out, we're together in any respect, then when I get offered that promotion I'd turn it down to remain here and be with her. That is how much I want her.

The problem is I don't have 4 months. I already asked her out and she said no. Either I scared her away by showing too much interest, she really isnt ready to move on or she does need time to get to know me better before making a choice (she might've been nice by not saying you're a guy I'm never going to go out with, or she might be thinking.. this is a guy I could go out with, I just dont know yet).

I dont want to force her into getting over her ex faster. It seems like a dick move on my part - some guy she only knows for 2 months is putting down the other guy who she likes/liked for 5+years. In my view I need to let her do that on her own. Similarly if her principles are to get to know someone better (i.e. become friends then more than friends) I respect that, its just I dont have time for it. In 4 months will she be over her ex? I dont know. In 4 months if we continue to hang out/remain friends, etc will she know enough about me to say yes? I dont know. I only have 4 months to try and get this girl to go out with me. In reality its more like 2 or 3 months due to things in between, the point is given the limited amount of time and a girl in this situation, what do I do?

What are the proper moves? Whats the game plan?

I was recently in a very similar situation to yours. But first things first, let me tell you: do not EVER turn down something like a promotion just to be with a girl. You will ALWAYS regret it. I promise. Please do not ignore what I just said.

The best thing you can do now is to just cut off all communication for the time being. You have made your interest known, and despite what some other people on here will tell you, that's a good thing given your situation. Now just stop talking to her altogether and wait and see if she chases you. There's no way to really make her get over her ex unless you're pretty damn experienced (and as such, that's outside the scope of what I can offer you myself), and if you put him down she'll just get defensive and grow to despise you.

Also, make sure you don't mention her ex if you do happen to speak to her. You'll either get friend-zoned or somehow end up as the rebound guy. Both of those situations suck.

Don't turn down the promotion.

Women come after the money. Take the promotion and after you've made a name for yourself, you'll have 5 women JUST like the one you're talking about. Trust me, its not worth getting hung up on a woman when you've got a lot of good things ready to happen to you now.

Follow these guys instructions. Cut off communication, work your ass off, tune your game, make some dough, and when you visit your old town a new man, I guarantee she will look at you like

This has worked on girls I failed at before. After a few months to a year, I would come back into their lives and they would see a different, better me...which in return I would see a naked them

Actually, the rebound situation wouldn't be so bad if you weren't already head over heels for the girl. Lay her good, disappear and come back a better man, lay her again.

NEVER EVER ASK HER FRIENDS THEIR OPINION


A big no no.


Take the promotion man. Freeze her out.



(Why the hell is it so much easier to tell other posters what to do than yourself )

I was just thinking the same thing.

Hey mate. First off, take the promotion. Individual people come and go, don't put her on a pedestal.

That said, you have 4 months to make something happen with this girl!

And no, you didn't make a move too fast. If anything, you made it too late. I like to make my intentions known immediately. Just be direct, ask her out however you need to.