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PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:22 pm 
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After having hundreds of numbers, I still am befuddled. My game has only gotten better and better throughout the years, yet time and time again I am wondering why: My openers are great, I build attraction and rapport, I give a false time constraint, then I close with a number. But when I text the following day or 2 days later, I get no reply... This happens almost 70% of the time. I normally try texting them one more time either a day or 2 later, but if they haven't replied by then, then I just pretend I never got a phone number to begin with and move on. Your opinion about this?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 6:57 pm 
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I'll join the queue... guess a lot of people need help around this time of year haha.

I've come to the conclusion I really don't know how to react to IOI's without seeming too keen.

ME: "London plans have failed, can't get a hotel so will probably be going *place* now."
HB9: "Ah nice! Might see you at *place* then... Exciting ;)"

This is about nye plans... but what would be the best way to reply to a suggestive remark like this.
do you have to reply?

That would be a good way to not seem too keen :P


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 7:32 pm 
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Haha well that's what I'm doing SPAM, we'll see if it works! :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Just some questions
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:40 am 
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To start I just have a few questions.

1) How can you get a girl to want to text you?
By being a person who can hold an engaging conversation in a variety of topics. Read books, watch meaningful television and movie. Talk about things which matter.

Separate yourself from the status quo.
Quote:
2) I recently met a girl on facebook so the question is : how can I ask her number?
And how can I fix a date with her?
Exchange a few messages to set a base level of comfort. Then, when you know that she is comfortable enough to hand out her contact info. ask her for it.

Build more attraction and comfort through calling/texting/IM-ing and ask her out.
Quote:
3) how can you make it exciting to text?
I do not understand this question.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


Last edited by Don Draper on Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:42 am 
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Girl I met at club.


Me: HB8! It was nice meeting you the other night, hope you didn't pull something when we were getting low hah.

HB8:Hm. I'm guessing I met you Tuesday? I really don remember too much about that night....lol

UPDATE

*a few messages texting bs like are you from around here? etc. goes back and forth for a few texts*

Me: You seem pretty cool, we should meet up for coffee sometime after Xmas!

HB8: Yes I'd love to:)

Me: Haha sounds good, I think I'm free on the 27/28th

HB8: Alright. I'll let you know cause idk what I'm doing yet


*Stopped texting her at that point*

Coach me up!
I see nothing more to add here. If she has said that she will let you know, then wait for her to let you know about her plans and free time.

I cannot offer you a magic solution guaranteeing you insta-dates with women. If she messages you back with the idea of meeting each other, set a time, place and date. Take the reins in your hand.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:48 am 
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Don,

Must say, great thread! How can someone have such talent and not ask money for it?

So anyway, in summary:
Known this girl for about 1,5 years, went out with her couple of times in April-august. I got too needy (didn't know anything about pick-up), so we argue and stop all contact.

After two months I've sent her a message on Facebook telling her I didn't like how it all ended, saw my mistakes, haven't changed but did learn and am now moving on. So two weeks later she starts texting me again.

This time I get in the textgame with her after reading all the Dons advice. So the texting goes back and forth nothing spectacular, met for coffee at college, ran into eachother at a party (k-close). So last saturday I this happens (jumping in after ' hey, how are you?' And so on):

Me: so we should meet up so I can get that dvd
Hb: I'm at school Monday and Tuesday
Me: Tuesday is fine! We'll have coffee at *place*

So Monday I texted her if Tuesday was still on. She said yes. Tuesday she flaked.

Me: so what time does your class finish?
Hb (1 hour later): I'm already gone, only had class in the morning!
Me (1 hour later): ok, that's fine!

So like any normal guy I think f*** u, I'll go game ten others! Then tuesdaynight 1.45 she texts me that she got hired at the internship she desperately wanted. Like she didn't know this already earlier or couldn't wait until daytime. So I responded the following night: good job. Proud.

Ran into her in school Thursday, saw her for 10 minutes, kissed her again, and now I am all out of routines and tactics! I need the Don!

How does one proceed from here, I am living one hour away from her so texting and calling are my main weapons!

Thanks a lot!
From my preliminary observations, seems to me that you have successfully been able to get her to the stage where she feels comfortable with kissing you.

If you have climbed till that step of the ladder, then it only makes sense to move up to the next step. Escalation.

Now, there is a set limit of verbal and typed escalation which you can do through calls/texts respectively, and that is restricted to talking in a sexual undertone, making sexual innuendos, interpreting her words in a sexual manner and such.

It will get you somewhere, but not too far.

You will be better served if you went and met her in person and escalated in steps. Google "DiCarlo Escalation Ladder" and download that pdf. It should give you a very precise idea of how you need to escalate properly in order to reach the intended end point with women.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:53 am 
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Here's my situation. Number closed with a girl from class, long story short she owes me a coffee. Last day of class I talk to her about getting that coffee but she's heading back home and gave me her number instead. Saw her at the final exam, texted her after saying saw you as I was leaving, have a meeting with a prof but I've got some free time after to collect on our bet. She told me she's sorry she can't as it was her last exam and she's heading back home after the exam.

I'm not sure if she's avoiding me but she did give me her number so I hope that's more out of interest than pity. Anyways, how do I make the next move? I told her I'd give her a shout next semester when she's back (this was on the last day of class before I texted her at the finals). However, I don't want to seem to needy and I feel like if I initiate communication again it's just me chasing her.

I was thinking of sending a mass Merry Christmas text tomorrow and including her and seeing if she replies or just waiting until next semester to ask her for that coffee. Thoughts?
Or you can just have conversations with her when you have free time and there is nothing more worthwhile at hand to do.

Normally, I would not put too much interest or effort in a situation without chances of meeting her short term.

Think of it as heating the oven from time to time, before you can meet her next year and insert the bread. Pardon the pun.

It might also be useful to establish comfort and build attraction with her through the regular talking.

Don't pin your hopes too high on this one girl. There are always new opportunities waiting to be explored.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:58 am 
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Met HB out at the bar, # close.

Text her the next day for a short convo about the previous night.

Text her a few days later telling her I am going to X for a drink and she should join me. She agrees. We meet and have a couple drinks, nice convo, light kino and she goes in for a hug close.

I text her a few days later and say:

Me: "I am gonna chill tonight and watch a xmas movie, join me!"
HB: "Oh sorry, I have plans. Merry Christmas!"
Me: "Fair enough. Hope santa brings you lots, if you weren't too naughty :)"

Should I ask her to do something again after a week or so? I don't like that she didn't say "I have plans but what about X day". Thoughts? Thanks!
Firstly, there is no such thing as a "hug close". It is tantamount to zero progress. Equivalent to a kiss on the cheek. More friendly, less sexual.

Also, her reply was the trademark disinterest in your suggestion. It is obvious that there is a lack of both comfort and attraction. Something to do with the date, considering that there was no kiss at the end. A "kiss" is more of a barometer to measure her attraction towards you in a sexual light. It's much more intimate than a hug, which gives off a friendly vibe on the other hand.

To me, she doesn't sound interested. At all. Learn from mistakes, move to the next woman.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:04 am 
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Quote:
met some girl at a bar. Got her number very short convo.
Texted her 2 days later. "Merry christmas"
Her "Merry christmas to you 2, i love you."
Me " Whoa love me huh? your a little clingy i might have to end this relationship."
Her " Fine be that way lol"
Me " Wow clingy and psychotic, I want you more than ever now"

And from then on dead silence. I guess i displayed too much interest without really getting to know her yet right.
Too many people don't value the things which they have. Till these things are gone, of course.

A woman saying "i love you" in whatever tone it may be delivered, does carry some form of emotional value to it. Disregarding it entirely is one thing, delivering a misplaced comment which comes off more as a "smug bastard", than the cocky-funny guy that you were hoping to be is another thing altogether.

The way I see it, you still have no idea of how to "calibrate" depending on a woman's moods. Going with canned routines and lines will only do so much. Go out. Meet more and more women. Get your reference points for a range of behaviour and situations involving women. Will save you from repeating such foolish mistakes.

For this situation, apologise sincerely. Tell her you were a complete idiot and that you feel bad about the way you handled her words.

Next time, be more mindful of a woman's emotions.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:13 am 
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I'll join the queue... guess a lot of people need help around this time of year haha.

I've come to the conclusion I really don't know how to react to IOI's without seeming too keen.

ME: "London plans have failed, can't get a hotel so will probably be going *place* now."
HB9: "Ah nice! Might see you at *place* then... Exciting ;)"

This is about nye plans... but what would be the best way to reply to a suggestive remark like this.
It's an invitation. The 'smirk' emoticon at the end would suggest the same. This is where your flirting and sexual bantering skills come into effect.

You could do so much here.. paint her a picture..

"Exciting indeed! You and me, we'll have a ..crazy time together. :wink:"

"I can totally see our eyes locking across the room at *place*. Should be ..interesting. :wink:"

Read these messages aloud with the proper pauses and feel the emotion they convey. That's what you want to send across to her.

Conversations like these are your chances to "give her a hint" or "prepare her" for the kind of spectacle it could be if you and her were to meet. The more exciting and hot you can paint it, the more she would want to be there.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:25 am 
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After having hundreds of numbers, I still am befuddled. My game has only gotten better and better throughout the years, yet time and time again I am wondering why: My openers are great, I build attraction and rapport, I give a false time constraint, then I close with a number. But when I text the following day or 2 days later, I get no reply... This happens almost 70% of the time. I normally try texting them one more time either a day or 2 later, but if they haven't replied by then, then I just pretend I never got a phone number to begin with and move on. Your opinion about this?
You need to spend some more time in the "comfort building" stage then.

If you don't like talking with women for an extended period, or they don't feel as comfortable with you afterwards, then you won't get any feedback on the numbers.

Creating attraction is fine, but attraction is very volatile. It can be gone, as soon as it came in the first place. So, spend a bit more time in the "basic rapport and establishing a comfort level" part of your game. Look up some routines like The Cube, Palm Reading, Cold Reading etc.

Something more than the face value.

I have a bit of a Speed Seduction background. Ross Jeffries calls it the Four Doorways into her mind. Now, while I don't really want to share that info, for it may be misinterpreted and misused.

Let's say that one of the most important ways is that asking a woman questions that require her to access the core level of her identify in order to answer. Stuff which can get her to elicit values. Stuff which makes her think before she can answer you.

If you're just in there till you get her number, how are you separating yourself from your competition?

Be different.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 11:12 am 
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Hey Don, my game has improved ten fold from reading this thread, solid results ;)
Quick question: what to say when you add a girl on facebook and she messages you " do I know you"?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:14 pm 
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Don,

I agree on your advice! However I still don't understand the flake in between the K-closes. Maybe my game got a little sloppy? Lack of comfort? Did text her during christmas, one in a foreign language which she figured out in ten minutes and a little convo while she was at a party on boxingday where I wasn't, this can't be bad. It's like she's doing a push/pull on me haha. What do you think, am I still leading the convo?

Thanks man!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:35 pm 
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Hey Don,

I have been texting/skyping quite a lot with this girl now and are looking forward seeing eachother again when our exams are done, but that's still a pretty long time (mid february).

Since I'm now pretty much studying each day non stop (and she aswell) I'm finding it quite hard stuff to text her, last time we texted was on christmas day. Should I ask her how her studying is going or should I just send some random, light stuff?

Also, should I still try to send a text each day or is it normal we don't interact as much because of exams?


Thanks!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:19 pm 
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Hey Don , I really appreciate the solid advice you have offered on this thread . I have a question about a girl myself . To make a long story short this is a girl that my other friend that is a girl gave me her number and I added her on Facebook and we started texting .

We've have been texting for about a week straight now , not skipping any days .My strategy was not to mention a meet up because I wanted to see if she would first . Anyways yesterday she texted me this:

Her : :) so when are we hanging out did we decide that yet ?
Me : Not exactly , haha around when do you want to hang out ?
Her : I'm down for whenever your not busy
Me: haha ok that's good . We'll figure something out than
Her : of Course
Me : yup any ideas for what you want to do
Her : I'm down for whatever
etc

Then she invited for to see a hockey game with her this Friday and said
Her : There's a game Friday night me and 2 of my friends are going i think if you wanna get some of your friends we can all go :)
Me: haha sounds good I'll see what I can do

So anyways , I told my friend that would be good for this kind of thing to come with me , but he didn't seem all that down considering he has a girlfriend and that . So I don't know if this will work out . I can't go by myself . What to do ?

Where do i go with this next ? Those texts were from yesterday and I think my text game was solid this last week with her but today has been the first day she hasn't texted me and I'm afraid if I cancel she'll lose interest . or is that the case ?

Thank you


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