Quote:
How do you alpha-take-a-shit?
haha
well, i'll tell you
you sit down.
take some deep, rythmic breaths.
light a cigarette.
smoke about half of it.
you take a couple of practice strains. (kind of trial runs for the actual shitting)
finally, with the half-smoked cigarette hanging out of your mouth,
you grunt and push one time (and one time only) whilst simultaneously flushing the toilet.
the sheer aggressiveness of your posture and forcefulness of your grunt/strain will intimidate the turd into literally leaping from your ass just to get away from your uber-alphaness.
it will plunge into the already swirling waters of the presently-flushing toilet and be whisked away before so much as even a little stink can escape!
a true alpha will then shout (mockingly) "fuck yah! that was the shit! literally!"
and then finish up the smoke, toss it into the water, and proceed to wipe...
ONLY TO FIND that your ass is already clean as you shit so fast that none got left behind.
when you emerge from the bathroom, you must leave the door open and the fan off! this is very important.
it states "i am man. i shit therefore i am. this is my world!"
your woman will be highly turned on by this primal display of power.
if done correctly, your cigarette butt should still be swirling in the toilet next time your gf uses the bathroom.
CHAT
