So I'm here because I still suck with women, for no reason other than the epic nervousness I get on approach.

Me: I'm 27, over 6 feet, 160ish lbs, and what a lot of people call "really good looking". I used to be a 2 (used to be really really fat), now I'm much more of a 8-9 (and hopefully the P90-X will push me up another notch). My skills have only risen to about a 5.

Experience: I've fully closed with 15 women since '04 (including three girlfriends), gotten to 3rd with a few more, and I've made out with dozens of women. But I stumbled into just about all of it. Usually, it's the girls approaching me, and I fail to fuck it up. The girls have gotten progressively hotter as I've gotten older, but it's always been more about luck than skill. I've never picked up a girl at a bar, but I occasionally get numbers at work and recently closed a customer (with clothes a 7, but totally a naked 9.) I'm an actor, but it's difficult for me to play that as I live in Los Angeles, and who the fuck in LA isn't an actor? Also, I don't drink, so I can't rely on liquid courage for any help, and I don't know how to use the information that I don't drink to my advantage.

A big issue is the approach. I was raised to be a nice guy, and we all know how that works out. That, and I ALWAYS back down when another, more skilled guy interjects. These are what I know I need to work on - I'm sure there's more, but I think this is a great place to start.

All feedback is welcome, and appreciated. I'm stumbling around in the dark here, need some light to shine in.

Suede

sounds like you understand your problems that's a good start. You are not going to need much game to score so your in a great position and the perfect age.

Drinking is irrelevant you shouldn't need to drink to sarge, just order non-alcoholic drinks that look like regular drinks and never mention they arnt alcoholic -problem solved.

As far as your game goes you need to work on inner game (self-image) and outer game(techniques) and practice in the field, all together, to have the most success in the shortest amount of time.

For inner game read anything by David De'angelo
for outer game Magic Bullets, Mystery method, Swinggcatt or others

90% of the material out there is all the same and pretty good.

Hey Blue Suede Shoes I have the same problem. I'm a handsome young guy (21) and have fully closed 7 (like you they get progressively hotter) though I've made out with and casually dated many more. My friends seem to think that I'm "good" with women but I think that is mostly because they are very bad. Either way, how familiar are you with pick up? I've been aware of it for a while now and have some pick up theory loosely connected and have tried it a few times with some success. My biggest problem is that I use pick up techniques only after I am interacting with a woman. Usually I am introduced to a girl, she approaches me, or something of that nature. But I almost never have it in me to go to a bar and just open a set cold. I've managed to do this only a few times and feel that if I could just must the ability to open sets then I would be golden. The strange thing is is that I am a very outgoing charismatic guy and am pretty good thinking on my feet. Approach anxiety is holding me back. Search the term inner game and look for a few routines as detox75 posted above. Once you get inner game down its really very easy (every time I'm in the 'zone" mentally I always get good results). Keep me posted on how this works for you, we both seem to bank too much on luck despite our positive attributes. Good luck (I take it back, I don't want to encourage any bad behavior).

Thanks for the tips guys. Detox, definitely going to check out David De'angelo. As a professional actor, I'm much more drawn to Natural game because I can use my natural charisma and improvise (once I'm in the "scene" that is). I understand he bleeds into that?

Loctus, you're already a few steps ahead of me (lost my Vcard at 21). In 7 years you'll probably have your own VH1 show. As far as pick up, I met a guy a few years ago and we became friends, and it turned out he was a PUA. At first this made me HATE him, as at the time I had the whole AFC/Pedestal mentality. Then he helped me text a girl into bed. Changed my entire perception on women, dating, and where I fit. Like I said, my skill set is about 5 now, but it was about 1 before I met him. Now it's a matter of taking the occasional advice he gives me and getting to the next level.

You already have the tools, You're an actor! It just a matter of applying them. In your case, i would strongly suggest you use acting to pick up and to practice being in character. It is a win/win situation. you get to practice PU and for your career.

My suggestion is that you create a character or several. Make these characters, what you envision a true PUA to be where you aim to be. See it as rehearsal for the ultimate roll.

I am sure you can find plenty of information on this site to create some very cool alter ego's.

You can be as macho or charming as you see fit. Remember its just a character. Experiment. If you maintain the mentality that it is just acting and practice. You are sure to experience less approach anxiety. The added bonus is you are getting in practice for your career as well.


You can always lean on the actor angle if an approach falls completely apart. You can just say that you are practicing a character for a potential audition....etc etc.

You have a great tool at your disposal for this game. Be bold!

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

I would also use the actor angle on approach, you could approach women with a question. State that you are an actor researching a roll, you are suppose to be a suave sexy man and you would love to ask her what she finds sexy or what would work on her. The great thing about it is that you are in fact in LA. It's not a stretch.

Also there is a good chance that the women you may be approaching is an aspiring actress herself.

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.