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This is a really cool post for me. It's like you're describing exactly the mistake you're making. You even realize that it's a mistake, through your own experience, saying "I'm obviously inadequate" and yet "I've already worked very hard."
Those two statements do not go together for me. Working hard will always make you adequate to the person who values the things you've worked hard for.
So let's look at your case. You have worked hard to get money. You're looking for golddiggers who value money, and I expect you could get one. Unfortunately I don't know where to find them.
So what do girls who aren't golddiggers value? What could you work hard for that would inspire them to like you?
Well, in my experience, a lot of things. Strong social skills is the one that's pushed most often on this site. Having good social skills is certainly useful, and everyone on the planet values them. But there are plenty of other things!
Musical or artistic talent. You may think you "cant" have these for whatever reason, but I promise you can. Drawing and painting have often been developed since the artist was 5 years old, so it's a little hard to compete. Photography is a great one though, if you want to get some decent results early on. It will still take time to get good. Lots of time and work. Music is the same, but there is no instrument that you can pick up and instantly be good at. TIME AND WORK.
Athletic talent. Get good at a sport. What girl wouldn't want to see her boyfriend go dominate at a soccer game?
Spirituality. Here's a strange one. Being spiritual is something that you can develop, and it's something attractive. Here's why. Spiritual people put out an aura, a positive vibe to those around them. This is a fact that I have observed countless times. Being able to talk about spirituality is also very attractive to girls. If you decide to begin this quest, I recommend reading these 3 books in order: The Power of Now, The New Testament, Plato's Republic. From there let your own interest guide you.
Good luck!
Interesting stuff, thanks. But I'm still a little unsure and confused. Why will girls only sleep with a guy if he is good at something like sports, music, art or spirituality? I don't look that bad and I'm fairly muscular, so why can't a girl just sleep with me without caring about what talents/skills I have, just to enjoy my body? I seriously couldn't give a damn what skills or talents a girl has; she could be illiterate, dirt-poor, barely able to speak, no social skills at all, not good at anything or interested in anything, and she would still be good enough for me as long as she looked nice and wanted to shag me.
I feel I could get into those kind of hobbies you list, but I'm just not passionate about anything like that. Also I can imagine spending years trying to get good at a hobby, only to find that girls in clubs don't care what musical instrument I can play or how well I can draw/paint. That would then be a complete waste of time.
When I've gone speeddating in the past (rejected by every single girl, every time, naturally!) none of the girls seemed to have hobbies apart from 'going out with their friends', so I'm wondering how much value a hobby would give me. :S
The only thing I want is to find a decent-looking girl who wants to do sexual things with me, without me having to pay her for it. If I could just find a girl like that, it would send my self-esteem & happiness sky-high. That's seriously what I need to feel valued and feel like my life is actually worth living: the fact that any decent-looking girl actually wants me.
I thought having a good education, a great career and money absolved me of the need to have hobbies, charisma etc.
CHAT
