Because I am not attracted to most male porn stars. I have considered porn, but it is a bit extreme... I'm not sure if I'd be entirely comfortable with it anyway.

I dare say that I care about people more than most other people do.

funny to hear from someone who has watched lots of porn...

seriously

I dare say that I care about people more than most other people do.

I dare say that I care about people more than most other people do.

That is a sensible suggestion; I think I will do that
Thanks

I sure did learn a lot from 60 but I sort of feel confused about how I can apply what I've learned practically.

I think I understand everything that's been going on much more since starting this thread, but I just feel like I'm still not too sure what to do about it! It's like most guys need women to not be too full on, but most guys are also hopeless at picking up on hints, so basically I'm fucked if I do and fucked if I don't (and not in a good way!).

I am sorry if, as a female, it's inappropriate for me to be asking advice here (if so can you please direct me to another site I can go to for help?!), but I can't find any active female PUA communities, and I am really frustrated because I just want to get laid FFS!

I am a 26 year old single woman with no desire to have children. I am obsessed with sex, not because of an abnormality in my libido, but because I enjoy it so much that it often becomes a psychological fixation for me.

I have a problem with men losing interest in having sex with me, despite having been told numerous times by different men that I am good in bed. I have discussed this with my psychologist and a like minded friend who suffers the same problem, and we have come up with the following possibilities:

- I scare them off because I like sex more than they do
- I'm too easy and they've got me wrapped around their little finger so they get bored really quickly because they don't have to earn it / work for it / it's not a challenge / there's no thrill of the chase and then they feel like "okay, been there, done that"
- Men aren't actually as obsessed with sex as they like everyone to think they are, so they're mostly all talk and no action
- They find my love of sex / confidence / sexual liberation emasculating somehow
- They feel like they can't seduce me, because I'm already seduced, so then they don't feel like they've achieved anything that panders their ego
- They find my upfront attitude unusual and don't know what to make of it
- Instinctually and / or from the traditional Christian culture, the attitude of "women shouldn't enjoy sex" hasn't quite dissipated yet, despite it no longer being relevant
- When push comes to shove, they're really just a bunch of backward misogynists
- They are too insecure to handle a sexually confident woman

A lot of overgeneralising there, but I think you get the idea.

I find the vast majority of men to be very unattractive and I live in an isolated city with a fairly small population, so I cannot afford to scare them off like this!

Perhaps I shouldn't be so forward, but I tend to find that men are absolutely hopeless at picking up on hints, so it's very difficult to strike the right balance, especially because every guy and situation is different.

I also do find the concept of playing games to be very grating to my person and already feel that I take that as far as I can bear by being careful to act more casual than I really want to, as I am well aware that being too keen / clingy / available is never attractive. Not to mention the fact that I find controlling myself intensely frustrating!

Also, I know it's been said that if seeking a romantic relationship, one should not sleep with the guy on a first date, and that one should be in tune with how to please oneself in order to show such restraint. While I don't particularly mind either way whether or not I get a relationship, as long as I get to have sex, perhaps given my situation a relationship would be the best way to guarantee that my sexual needs are met.

My problem is that although I have plenty of sex toys and enjoy watching pornography, I find masturbation in general to be quite boring, and usually after orgasming I end up feeling more frustrated because I haven't had intercourse with a real person.

Also, I am not sure I understand exactly why it is so important to abstain from sex at the beginning of a relationship, aside from when it comes to a man's attitude towards female sexual liberation. In that case, I would just like to say that where I am fussy when it comes to who I choose to have sex with, I am even more discerning when it comes to having a relationship with a man, and I would definitely consider him sharing similar sexual values to mine as being fairly non-negotiable. And such a man would not view me in a negative light or rule me out as relationship material just for sleeping with him on a first date.

I would be extremely grateful if any of you could provide a male perspective, as well as any advice or suggestions in relation to the matters I have raised. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this.

Just a touch of sarcasm...not at the op. There was a guy on here claiming to be a 9.5 and a virgin at 28 please message him and rock his world...he really needs it.

where did you get this paradime ?

I can understand why you might feel this way, however someone gave me some fantastically helpful advice last Monday and I'd like to pass it on to anyone who is in need of it. I've felt like this for years in all kinds of situations; people don't seem to "get it" and I sit there thinking how it seems almost hopeless because it's like we're speaking two different languages and they don't understand anything I'm trying to say to them and I feel like I understand them fine...although in reality they feel the same way and I most likely don't understand them too much more than they understand me.

This is the difficulty of life. We are different entities and so regardless of how well you may think you get someone, aside from those brief moments of pure connection, you never truly end up on exactly the same wavelength for very long. To feel that this is a problem with them, or that it is something you shouldn't have to deal with and are being subjected to, is allowing yourself to think of yourself as a victim. If you victimize yourself you end up feeling like an outsider and like you just can't win no matter what you do because of it.

Don't let this happen to yourself. Don't make yourself a victim. Don't consider the other people as being a problem and don't consider yourself as being a problem. Realise that the reality of life is that everyone and everything is complex beyond our wildest imaginations and that we're all just doing our best to interact as well as we can. Together. Do your best and recognize that they are doing their best as well and things almost immediately start getting easier. Just keep that in mind whenever difficulties arise.

Good luck out there!

You like sex, only an insecure man would find that intimidating.

You scare men off by being too available to them, don't be so available.

the problem most women just looking for sex find, is that its easy to get super attractive guys in bed regardless of looks


. Hard to keep them around, if you arent up to par looks wise

I can't believe that you're still here playing your same old tape in a loop.

Look, you keep telling us that you have this awesome steak house but all you serve is a fillet. Fine, I will take your word for it that you serve up a mean USDA prime fillet mignon. However, that's all you serve. You've mentioned a few times that you have some other shit on the menu but after all these pages . . .there's nothing there!

I LOVE tenderloin like you won't believe. Sometimes, I go out of my way to my favorite butcher and watch the guy cut that tubular goodness out of the side of the cow and I'll serve it up 10 different ways. (By the way, youtube Alton Brown tenderloin if you're interested in this)

In spite of my infatuation with this cut of meat, I will NOT go to a restaurant that keeps feeding me only fillet mignon over, over, and over again. You wouldn't either.

*^This is written by a guy that answers the question, "Are you a legs, tits, or an ass guy," with, "I'm a Vagina Guy." . . .

I can't believe that you're still here playing your same old tape in a loop.

Look, you keep telling us that you have this awesome steak house but all you serve is a fillet. Fine, I will take your word for it that you serve up a mean USDA prime fillet mignon. However, that's all you serve. You've mentioned a few times that you have some other shit on the menu but after all these pages . . .there's nothing there!

I LOVE tenderloin like you won't believe. Sometimes, I go out of my way to my favorite butcher and watch the guy cut that tubular goodness out of the side of the cow and I'll serve it up 10 different ways. (By the way, youtube Alton Brown tenderloin if you're interested in this)

In spite of my infatuation with this cut of meat, I will NOT go to a restaurant that keeps feeding me only fillet mignon over, over, and over again. You wouldn't either.

*^This is written by a guy that answers the question, "Are you a legs, tits, or an ass guy," with, "I'm a Vagina Guy." . . .

I agree that variety is the spice of life. This can be applied to pretty much anything. I am just not sure exactly how this relates to my situation, as I don't agree with you that I'm only serving one dish.

You want to hear what you want to hear.

Some version of.. "Oh, you are the best, sweety!! You're the grade-A!! All the men around you are fucking blind and dumb to not notice the amazing woman that you are!! And everyone else is at fault, but not you.. No, honey, you are so perfect!!! Every man wants to sleep with you!!"... blah blah blah blah

You are not willing to look past the fact that vagina isn't everything. If it was, we'd just be at home ordering them from ebay and everyone would be happy not to mention, satisfied.

You are searching for flaws in yourself, while ignoring the most obvious : You have nothing more to offer than your sex. And that is not enough. Everyone on this thread has told you and everyone has been ignored by you. A man wishes to feel challenged, conflicted ..connected with the woman he is with. You seem incapable of making a man feel that.

I'll tell you something. It is very simple to argue with a person, as long as he/she is there to argue. But when they aren't. It's like fighting a vacuum.

When the person whom you are addressing is an empty shell made up of perception of others, opinions of her friends and words she reads in magazines. It is this immateriality which we are all answering here. And it can neither hear nor answer any of us.

So, you can believe in what you want. Keep on dredging as much as you would like. Find someone who can "answer" your question, if there is any such thing in the first place.