There is this Taiwanese girl at work on a 6 month placement. She has already had 5 months of her placement, and has one month left before her visa expires and she has to go back to Taiwan.

From pretty much straight away we liked each other and there was mild flirting. Though, because it was in work and I’m inexperienced, I didn’t pursue it as strongly as I should have. Over the few months, we had gone for a meal after work once, and also a drink after a day trip out (never tried the kiss close). There has also been plenty of kino both ways and flirting. Though, there must have been 3 times when over the few months I asked (text) her to do something on the weekend, and twice she said she was busy visiting a friend in another part of the country or going to a festival, but that she did really want to meet up and we would do so when we’re both free. On one occasion she didn’t reply. Though, because of conflicting schedules and that recently she has been extremely busy completing her dissertation as part of her degree (she is a mature student on a work placement), we still haven’t gone out. (she completed it last week finally)

In the last few weeks the flirting has become much more than mild to the point of blatantly obvious in front of everyone. There is loads of teasing, laughing and her playfully hitting me all the time. My manager has mentioned to me that several people have made comments about this girl and me flirting. A couple of my mates that I work with even said that we’re both flirting a lot with each other, so when am I going to make a move?

So now I’m not sure how strongly to pursue it. I’m waiting for her to invite me to do something instead of me inviting her all the time (she has only invited me once which was for the meal after work I mentioned earlier). More worryingly, though, is that on a work night out last week, my mate/colleague was talking to her and asking if she has a bf, and suggested that she should go out with me (he told me this afterwards). Apparently, she said she wouldn’t because I’m always joking all the time and never serious. The irony is that I never wanted to end up in that dreaded friend zone (bad experience!), so I was trying to keep the attraction up with teasing and flirting.

How do I play it from here? Do I suddenly become more serious etc?

Do I balls up and go for it?

She only has one month to go so I might as well give it a shot, but the really annoying this is that I can’t believe I have let it descend into this situation after so much promise early on. I really thought I had turned a corner in my PUA journey and I wouldn’t be that same AFC as before, but this seems to be an all too familiar situation for me now.

Perhaps, I should invite her to do something on Boxing Day while we both have free days?

Thanks all.

Ok, clearly you are good with the attraction...

Don't believe what she says to your mate... She is lying, or brushing him off.

If you flirt all the time, she will fuck you.

She is ready, you are ready.

Grab her after work, be alone with her, get sexual.

Show her you are the man, and you got the balls.

Thanks P1nkstar for your answer. Obviously I’m hoping you’re right but the lack of progress has put doubts in my mind. However, there is only one way to find out and the last thing I am going to have is that regret of not trying before she goes.

As there isn’t too much time to go, do you think I should invite her today to meet up tomorrow while we both have time off work, or should I wait and invite her for a drink after work (more possibility to be intimate and escalate in a bar obviously)?

I’m sure the answer will be yes to one of those questions lol, so in that case, how would you physically escalate and go in for that kiss? Better to go in for the kiss during the “date”?

listen, you have to find your own answer to this question, think of what you want, go for what you want, not what she wants, not what some guy on a forum wants, think for yourself and go for it, stop lolly gagging around, and go for what you want, it is very simple, it is a yes or a no, and not getting to that yes or no, is automatically a no by default, take action and reflect on what happened and why that happened, then improve

Thanks. Whilst I certainly see what you’re saying, and a lot of times it is best to just go for what you want as life is too short, the purpose of posting on a forum is to get some (informed) advice which can also be helpful. Though, I did stop “lolly gagging” around and so far it seems to be going ok. Slight delay now though as she is away from tomorrow for New Years.

ironically, that can be taken as very simplistic approach, and it can also be thought about and methodically taken to a more in depth consideration, you want to be higher status, well, the person who does what they want the most, is the person with the highest status, the person who cares the least, if you are doing things for other people, you perceive them higher status, now don't get this confused with never doing anything for anyone all the time just to remain higher status, because with that in mind you would actually not be doing things on purpose in order to get a certain reaction from other people, not because it is what you want, but it is what you think they want, do you see where I am going with this?, independent from others thoughts and actions, if you think you need someone and they are really important and you are trying to impress them or figure out how to get them to like you, you are trying to think in terms of what they want, not what you want, this would have them leading the frame of all your interactions, you can think about it consciously but once you start to you will be introspectively finding ways of gaining approval once again and it will shine through, at a core level, what is it that you want?, clearly be sure of what you want then express this clearly in all your interactions free of censoring yourself because of your worries about what others will think (once again this is thinking in terms of what do others want), now with that being said this does not mean discard any social intelligence you have and start acting like a giant asshole to everyone you know, never considering their feelings, unless of coarse that is in actuality what you want, figure out what it is that you want, and pursue it, express it, clearly, free from a need of a reaction or an expectation of an outcome, stay in the current moment of life, moment by moment, expressing what you want, not in the past not in the future, people only hold as much power over you as you allow them to, socially and emotionally, instead of thinking what it is a person wants to hear, just say what you want to say, directly communicate to the person and express what you want to say and how you feel, if you think something is funny, say it, if you like what a girl is wearing say you like it, if you think a cd sucks, say it sucks, if you want to see someone on tuesday, say come see me tuesday I would love to see you, be sure of what you want and how you feel, start expressing it, and when someone else doesn't want what you want, just manage what they want, and be considerate of them but don't get butthurt or expect anything from them, don't get mad or pouty, or all desperate trying to get them to do what you want, just go find someone that wants to do what you want, be selfish you come before others, be considerate but don't allow others to manipulate you into getting what they want, as different people have very different agendas, be confident of your own, you come first, you are the not better then other people, but what you want should be more important to you then what others want

it can go as far as a conversation topic, all the way to being talking to someone or not being talking to someone, having fun, not having fun, being angry, not being angry, you will notice the more you confidently you express what it is you want, the more others will just naturally fall into also wanting what you want and looking up to you, you define your own reality