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this fashion model added me on fb the other day. got her number. hope you guys learn something. here goes.
Me: Hey. How's it going? Do you know me from somewhere? X
Good opener. May also be good to use if the person hasn't even viewed you, in a cocky/funny sort of way.
HB: Hi, no I don't lol. I was just adding guys who looked interesting and came across You x
Me: lol thats cool. Just making sure. Had some experienes in the past that after some parties some obsessive girls find me on fb and start harrassing me lol. you're not one of those are you? lol
What do you professionally besides stalking guys? x
Good way of qualifying yourself as "stalkable" and inferring pre-selection (doesn't look try-hard, but conveys you're in demand, and also commonality as ever average to hot girl has been stalked at some point).
HB: Excuse me? Don't flatter yourself, why the hell do you think I'm a stalker!
I'm a fashion model, I'm signed to ......, hardly have time for a social as a result, I can tell you its guys who stalk me, I don't stalk them lol
Me: Hello. You're the one who added me and loads of other guys lol. But I understand why. You want to make a change, be the one in control and have the choice instead of being served to you. I like that. It's very important to me to meet a straight forward woman who knows what she wants and takes it.
Good that you didn't do the AFC thing, cave and apologize. Also discretely qualifying yourself to her as the guy who'll offer her something different, unique, and possibly exciting. Also turn it around by showing you're choosey and won't settle for just any woman with a pulse, but rather one who is is sure of herself (you've IOI'd her too in the process)
A model. That's nice. Some women have told me that it's really hard work to do. What makes modelling so hard? X
Having her qualify you; engaging her to start working toward seeking validation from you (e.g. you being "prizable"). Also, not doing the AFC thing and acting geeked-out over the fact that she's a model
HB: I wouldn't psychoanalyze me just yet. More often then not I'm in control, perhaps too much. I know what I want and always go after it, however, this does not make me bumptious-I am truly grateful for my gifts in Art and Music and modeling.
She took the bait and is now qualifying herself to you (e.g. "i'm not the typical floosey model, I'm intelligent and creative too!"). I'm also reading that she's telling you you're in control only insofar as she allows it - fuck it, let her think that way as it works to your advantage. When she tries to steal the frame you'll simply disprove this notion, thereby making it all the more effective.
I've added a load of new guys and girls to see who else is our there, I work such late hours it leaves little time to meet a half decent human.
Modeling is very hard work, I was very vulnerable when I started, you have to develop a certain attitude quickly! I'd say having a 900cal a day diet, posing in heels for 8 hours in the rain and trying to still give a look and attitude by the end of the session is what makes modeling so hard. The stalkers too, you leave your house with red roses on the doorstep, which is creepy, would be better if they were white roses as they are my fave! In all honesty though there is so much in modeling that is very tough, words cannot do it justice.
So what makes you think models and pretty girls are stalking you? Do you not think it rather nice to make new friends? I can assure you I've never stalked a guy, I think the idea would knock my confidence as a girl! I am used to guys throwing themselves at me, I get it, that's not your thing, you like to relate, feel you are good at it, different from the other boys. Am I close?
She's bought into your frame, at least for the time being. lol Used to guys throwing themselves at her, what girl isn't.
Me: I know what you mean. It is hard to meet decent people these days. One meets the same kind of people in one area but should try to do the same in other areas. Get to know and learn about different people. You make modelling sound like martial arts lol. I never realised that modelling required a huge amount of discipline and concentration. I assume one has to be truly solid as a rock to do that. Once I couldn't stand for a few seconds in high heels and fell flat on my face lol. But it must be difficult to express yourself creatively in modelling. Why didn't you get into art or music if you are more gifted in them?
You give her some validation, but don't run away with it which is good. You also infused some humour which was also good.
Giving roses is ok but it's not really original. A better stalker haha would give something that the person likes. Also giving it in person is more respectful and dignified.
I do enjoy meeting all types of new people. Making close connections and finding out who they really are.
I'm surprised you're not a psychologist lol you seem to read into things quite well. I know I'm different and I do and say what I feel like. Why would I want to through myself at someone I don't even know? Doesn't make any sense lol.
HB: aha you in heels sounds funny.
Well I did study some psychobiology I find the area fascinating. When shooting I try to connect my emotions with the camera, its hard to show your inner self to a random photographer you'be never met. You can see my work on mm by googling my name if you like.
So what do you do? You like The Notebook! That made me cry my like a baby!
Well I will always paint my oil studies, always compose music, but can only model while I'm young. I never planned on it, I got asked by designers on the tube or in the street etc and I just found I got a high from it. Gave me a lot more confidence.
Totally agree, one should not throw themselves at someone, known or unknown.
Me: Interesting. I guess it's all about manipulating your body posture and facial muscles which must be extremely difficult to control. But if you know about facial muscle manipulation, you're probably very good at reading people, and can tell if people are lying to you like in that tv show Lie To Me. I think I would be pretty intimidated and feel very scared of you when we meet up. I can imagine you analyzing me so intensely, I'd probably wet myself and run lol.
I did like the notebook but i prefer some of the other movies made by the same people like Dear John and the Time Traveler's Wife. I can imagine you crying in front of the tv with a mountain of used tissues right next to you lol.
I'm ...........
It's great that you find time to express yourself with a busy job. Most people think that they don't have time ad just come home and sit in front of the tv like a potato lol.
But why don't you show your drawings on fb for people to enjoy? x
HB: Haha, no, I'm far from intimidating, I'm really sweet and friendly and not great at reading people really.
Haha the .....sounds amazing! So funny.
What ......
I have to express myself, its my only exit sometimes, always been that way.
I have put a few shots of my paintings up on here, but there's a link on my profile, so you can see them from there.
Me: lol Thats good.
When ..........The same thing would apply in modelling, you have to have a high energy in order to portray confidence at a photoshoot.
I definitely know what you mean. It feels like you are filled with high levels of creativity and need some way of channeling it to something visual. I used to do art and music but nowadays I absolutely love cooking. I have no idea what I would do without it and also like trying out new recipes.
DHV - creative and artistically inclinded, also a general openness to trying new things/experiences. Also establishing commonality btwn two of u
I like some of your paintings, particularly the texture of the musical instruments and the whole gothic theme. But why don't you have any pictures of you with your family and friends? x
HB: The high energy concept is certainly something that works with younger age groups, my brother is an English teacher to foreign students and he swears by it.
My paintings are much more huge and powerful in real life, can't get great shots with the camera. I'm giving an exhibition hopefully next year.
You like to cook? Thats cool. Me too, cook all the time, always making cakes and dinner etc for my family.
When it comes to friends I don't have many, never any time, the few I do have hate to be in photos, or have left to live up country. As for family, never really got round to it, must take some over the xmas period as its a shame. x
It's good she doesn't sound like the typical facebook 'debutante'/attention whore. She's given you lots to work with; multithread convo themes on art, cooking, movies, the modelling industry, education... You can easily lead work this to your advantage by running the gamete of emotions with her through exploring these themes
Me: Yeh it is very difficult for those sizes. Haven't seen huge pieces of art since I was in Paris years ago. I went to the musee de l'orangerie and i loved the big circular room with monet's waterlilies. Felt really dark and cool. Have you ever been to Paris?
Haha you can cook too lol. I don't think that you and I will get along in the kitchen. We'll be fighting with each other all the time about who is going to cook the delicious food, I will win and you'll have to do the washing up lol. I also enjoy cooking for my family and friends. Which dish can you cook the best?
You reward her with an IOI (you're intrigued by all her talents), and future orient with her hinting you two will be sharing time in the kitchen some day together. Also DHV in that you can cook, and also like doing so for others and are presumably close to your family
lol I've never heard of people who don't want to be in photos lol. Even though people come and go one should always keep the connections going. People always think that they never have time to do anything in life. Yet life is all about trying out new experiences, having fun and meeting new people (in person lol).
Lets speak/text sometime on the phone. What's your number? x
Good, natural number close like it's no thing
HB: Monet's Waterlillies-beautiful. Did you know there are over 40 similar pieces? He was obsessed with them!
I have been to Paris, but I was only a lil girl, maybe 4?
Lol, EVERYONE hates being in photos nearly!
Its true, people become too complacent-get up eat, work, eat, sleep. Its a useless existence. I will always appreciate the gift of surprising myself, learning something new about myself-makes me feel alive, still valid. You know?
Hmmmm should I give the new stranger my number? Hmmm, so I guess ok- number x
Me: Lol I didn't know that.
I love being in photos especially with new people and good friends, and show people I'm wild and always have a fun time lol.
Hmmmm should I give my number to my stalker lol? We'll she seems pretty cool....enough lol. Mine's number . Speak soon x
I personally wouldn't have given my number to her. The reasoning for this is that if the interaction went well, she'd likely be wondering when I'll call thus building some tension in her. Her having your number, psychological she knows she can have contact with you when she likes.
HB: Lol, quit it! I've never stalked anyone! lol. I can pretty much guarantee you'll be stalking me soon enough-men seem to go weird with me-develop some odd obsession!
Got a very important model interview today with a big agency (Yes they work Sats!) Sooooo nervous-wish me luck!x
Me: Well i an assure you i won't be leaving any red roses on your door step anytime soon. if i was stalking, then you shouldn't be replying to my messages lol. good luck for today. x
Good job at maintaining the frame. She didn't make any sudden moves to try and seize it, yet. Also, push/pull was good, and she gave you some good tid bits to keep the convo going (e.g. many topics to discuss so if one goes flat you can simply stack to another).