this is approval seeking at it's finest, you have already gotten your advice and are choosing to ignore it

Which bit is approval seeking? The bit I didnt send or the bit I sent?

You're a like a puppy. You latch on to anything she says and turn in to any type of glimmer of hope that suits you. It's pathetic. Hope is for suckers and it keeps you strung along.

Ok I understand guys. Thank you for your patience. I suppose when I last saw her and she kissed me on the lips and said Im going to really miss you I hope you still stay in touch with me and we will see what happens again in the future I kinda took that to heart.

I just want a shot with her when I eventually do see her whenever that is.

I just wanted to leave things in a way that would give me that shot.

I guess I blew it

The fact is I do actually have quite high value in her eyes. Ie she thinks I can have any girl I want and am always surrounded by hot girls. She knows this. I just wanted to play on this so I could get her back when she comes to town eventually.

When I texted her and didnt get any further responses I think she was out with friends. Im sure Ill get a reply tomorrow and if I do I will take your advice and just ignore.

It really hurts to do this, as just weeks ago this was a girl who couldnt get enough of me.

if you were so high value in her eyes, she would be tentatively texting you and patiently awaiting the next meetup for some sex, instead she is ignoring your calls and advances, and actively made it clear that she wishes to friend zone you, instead of withdrawing from the situation that is not suited to your needs, you are encouraging this because you are attached, and it seems your needy behavior has you thinking, IF I JUST HOLD ON, JUST KEEP CONTACT FOREVER AND NOT MAKE HER DIS-LIKE ME, SHE WILL COME BACK, it doesn't work like that, by doing this, you are pedastooling her and assigning her higher value, if she is the leader, then you are the friend, if she is the most important of the two, then the lesser is the friend

THE PERSON WHO CARES THE LEAST, HAS THE MOST VALUE

evidently she... by far... cares the least

Ok I take your point, So if this is a game of chess where the person who cares the least will be the higher value and I want her back at some point. In an ideal world, how does one leave it with a girl.

Am I rude to her and tell her good luck with your life and then leave.

Do I act sweetly and wish her the best and then move off.

Do i Say I really thought you were someone more specail than this.....

Do I say lets be friends then just ignore her.

This is the point Im trying to make. Im happy to cease contact I just want to know the IDEAL way whether its for this girl or another time to do it.

Just stop all contact FOREVER! You dont need to say anything. I can tell what you are doing... your thinking what to say to her so you can get some type of reaction out of her and the hope she says something that will show that she cares. She doesn't care. Like i said your're holding on to hope like a puppy. The same answer for all your questions prior, present and after is the same... Stop contacting her and ignore her.

Ok when she left her ex SHE DIDNT CARE! She told me, I dont even miss him

She was with me for two months, she then moved back home. Now becuase her ex DOESNT CARE, she became attracted.

So If u had of given him the same advice it would have been wrong. shes obv got him back.

I know shes moving back to the USA. I want to be in a position to at least decide whether I want her or if we still have a spark.

She accuses me of being with lots of girls. So obv not thinking im a no one.

I just want to know the best ideal way to leave a situation like this. So if she contacts me tomorrow all sweet and says Im sorry was out with friends but yes blah blah blah blha how are you....

I should ignore?

I just want for my own HEAD to be able to deal with this that I have left it in the best possible way that I may move forwards. Do you not get that?

You're not getting it... You're hopeless... Read what you wrote. She didn't care about her ex until HE DIDN'T CARE anymore! That's what we're trying to get you to that point where you stop caring! WHO CARES WHERE YOU ARE AT IN RELATION TO POSITION! Anything you do now or have done clearly has put you in a worse position.

And you can't compare yourself to her ex. It's apples to oranges. You two were never together! They were! They have a way stronger foundation built over time compared to your 2 "intense" months. Whoopdy doooo.

You know what you need that has helped me tremendously being that I have been in the exact same situation as you to a T? Reading your post and many other post that are going through the exact same situation and seeing how pathetic they are. In turn, I realize how pathetic I was. I thhank you for that.

She told me they became friends and he said he wanted no relationship from her. This obv was not true as before he was begging for her back.

Look I know Im being pathetic but this girl ruined by whole Christmas and New Year plans leaving me with fuck all.

Im so angry but at the same time upset. Im trying to deal with it in my head but keep on wanting an ending. I guess what your telling me is it doesnt matter what the last text was or what the last thing we said it just needs a total break in contact.

So her idea of staying in touch really just puts me in some friend zone which ill stay in forever. So I have to cease all contact.

DO I go as far as deleeting her off Facebook and BBM or does that just put me in a sour grapes weaker position?

Im so bloody lost and have not been in this trap for 3 weeks since i got the original email from her and over a week since i last saw her and she told me she wanted only to see if it felt right.

I really hate what shes done to me. I feel like an idiot and of course just want things back to how they were. Only a few weeks ago we texted 10 times a day. i need a closing on this guys. Either a fall out with her or to leave with an upper hand. Just walking away seems weak to me.

holy shit dude! Give it up............

Sad thing is..... I see some of myself from a few years ago in you. Most guys have been in this position and felt the same way.

Look shes told you she was over her ex... Shes now telling her boyfriend again that shes over you.

You want an ending to this... Only you can end it for YOURSELF. But somehow I dont see you doing it. For her it ended weeks ago. Shes happy right now.

Since you FAILED miserably to manage expectations with a girl who made you fall head over heels in love with her, whilst using you as a rebound to try and get over her ex, who shes now won back through USING you....

I Guess she didnt know the rule, "Leave him better than you found him."

But you being the big PUA and all with lots of photos with girls, this should of been easy to get over, as you know how to manage expectations. FOR YOURSELF ASWELL - yet you didnt.

Heres what I would do.

Realize that she kinda just used me for sex to get over her ex.
Realize that shes out of my life for now.
Realize she probably isnt going to marry this boyfriend of hers.
Realize that our lives may cross paths again one day when she is single.
Realize if I ever want another crack at her down the track, I cease contact for now! and dont fuck it up entirely.
Realize that its a great day outside with lots of new fun hobbies I could take up, let alone other girls to meet.


Heres my money on whats gonna happen...

- You will keep messaging her, and she will reply less and less and eventually block your number if its going to run the risk of disturbing her happy relationship for now. You will probably get drunk and tell her you love her. Then maybe tell her you hate her as well.
- You will think about her most days, while she will stop thinking about you altogether.
- You will keep hassling her on facebook, probably delete her then re-add her again the next day.
- You will blow the chance of seeing this girl EVER again.

When you gonna realize?? Ill put my money on: Youll realize after you completely fuck it up. But hey thats good too because I guess that way you will learn from it.

Youve just confessed over 4 long pages of posts that you have 0 game and are a raging AFC with One-itis. thats fine... Thats what many guys come here for.

How about you do something about it? Start yourself a journal.

From AFC to PUA.
Day 1.

_________________
I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

Breaking Bad.

I think your the one who finally got through to me.

Im not going to be that idiot. I will cease all contact and just forget about her. Im not going to fuck this up anymore than I have.

Thank you for yours and evryone elses advice.

Just one last question.....

If she makes contact with me on BBM. She can see Ive read it. Do i just whtever she sends ignore it?

Thanks again for all your help. I PROMISE I WILL NOT MAKE CONTACT!

hmmm, maybe you are not understanding this whole care business, it is not really about dis-liking her, it is about caring about what she does, and how she acts, and placing a high importance on needing her to do something a certain way or act a certain way, liking her is slightly different then needing her to like you and being obsessed with her, it is sort of like, MAN, I LOVE IT WHEN THAT CHICK GIVES ME BLOWJOBS, but im not going to call her all the time to get more blowjobs, i don't care, im not going to start giving her compliments in the hopes i get some blowjobs, i don't care, if she comes around, she comes around... awesome, im gonna do my own thing and go play some basketball, vs the other end of the spectrum, OMG THAT GIRL GAVE ME A BLOWJOB, I CARE SO MUCH, I HAVE TO CALL HER TODAY, FOR ANOTHER BLOWJOB, OMG SHE IS NOT RETURNING MY CALL,OMFG I NEED A BLOWJOB ILL CALL HER AGAIN 10 TIMES TODAY FOR THAT BLOWJOB, SHE NEEDS TO LOVE ME, I NEED ANOTHER BLOWJOB OMFG, I CARE SO MUCH, HMM, SHE WASN'T ANSWERING NOW IM GOING TO BE MEAN TO HER, CAUSE IT PISSED ME OFF.. WHY DID IT PISS ME OFF? CAUSE I CARE TOO MUCH, MAYBE I SHOULD IGNORE HER NOW AT THIS MOMENT... WHY? CAUSE I CARE AND I NEED THAT BLOWJOB AGAIN

the easiest way to not care, is not to ''act'' like you don't care, it is to actually not care, that does not mean dis-like her, it means stop holding any weight over what she does, what actions she takes, stop trying to control variables that are outside of your control, what she does and how she acts, is not something you should be trying to control, control your own actions, go for what ''you'' want, be considerate of her, but don't try to force anything, she either goes with the flow, or you withdraw and find someone who goes with the flow, maybe you have to step back as breaking bad said and evaluate a reason to stop caring so much, but hopefully in the future you can just realize, WOW IM PLACING SO MUCH VALUE OVER THIS GIRL WHO IS PLACING LITTLE TO NO VALUE ON ME, I SHOULD STOP PUTTING EFFORT INTO THIS MEANINGLESS RELATIONSHIP (friendship or hookup w/e form of relationship) BEFORE IT SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF ME

and as for the best way to leave things... leave her better then you found her, but stop trying to get something from her, and go read up on what neediness is, you need to avoid displaying this behavior and work on it, abundance should help or adding hobbies to your life, you need something to do with your time besides obsess