Met a girl on Sat night at an event. To get her attention I made conversation with a guy friend she was with (definitely a friend) and then she interrupted the conversation and answered to me. - so far, so good and I learned that tactic here so thank you.

I then see her chatting with another guy for about 1 hour and she didn't take her eyes off him. When he left she was then surrounded by other guys. Only real fit bird in the place. I saw her go in the toilet and waiting for her to come out. She saw me and walked over to me and we started talking. She asked loads of questions and was obviously curious about me, pleased to say she didnt take her eyes off me now.

She gave me her name (full name which i didn't ask for I just asked her first name) and when I joked 'I didnt ask for your full name' she said 'Oh I thought you meant for Facebook'. I added her there and then Sunday night at gone 12 in evening, she changes her pic from some odd unrecognisable photo to nice close up and THEN adds me. If she wasnt adding other at the same time I'm very flattered.

So I now can see her FB page and there are guys posting and asking questions i.e. How are you? What you up to for xmas eve? and she doesn't bother answering any of them. I then find out she is on twitter and I can see her last post is to a guy friend asking why he hasn't returned her text.
My feeling is that this is another girl who has men at her feet and prefers the 'aloof'. (tell me if you think that is wrong)..

So today is her birthday but you cant post on her wall, just send her a private message. I an in two minds whether to message her or not.
If I do, I was thinking to switch it round and joke about her being too old for me etc. Not sure to ask 'how are you?' as I don't want to be another bloke chasing and waiting for an answer. What would you do in my situation?

Anyway, I appreciate if for you the answer to what I should do sounds obvious, but my track record recently seems to be getting the initial interest and then losing it so i am worried about it happening here. The only girls I have after me are the ones who I have told I am not interested so am so concious of that.

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here to learn.. thats all.

its very good that you are setting yourself apart from the other guys and send her a private message rather than a wall post which all the other guys do. say something more original than "how are you?". tease her in the message too and ask an open-question. i like to use my own one "What monkey business have u been up to?". if she is high calibre, you can tell her something like "enjoy your b-day. dont try and grab any random guy, get him super drunk and take advantage of him lol". this would be something she has never heard of before. guys usually chase her, but you can treat her differently by accusing her doing the chasing.

thanks..

I was actually thinking of replying to her late tonight, to show she is not number one on my list and saying something like..

'Happy Birthday.. shame you are too old for me now but I am sure we can still be friends!'

just my opinion but

1) No questions being asked (no pressure to reply). - if she wants to talk she can talk back
2) Make her genuinely a little concerned that she is getting older (27 is not old, but you know how it is)
3) At least acknowledge the birthday which is being a bit nice.
4) funny, cocky, cheeky in general..
5) pushing her into the friends category and giving her the challenge to come back out of it..

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here to learn.. thats all.

So i sent the following. (she is from somewhere in the UK called Dartford) and I told her on the night jokingly that she had two mins to impress me and when I asked her age she stumbled as she wasn't sure to tell me her old or new age.

' Happy Belated Birthday Dartford

You did ok in your two mins to impress me, what a shame you're too old for me to date now >:-)

At Least you are able to say ‘im 27’ to people you now desire/me without a problem.

Love James'


Notice how I have implanted some embedded commands in there.

'You Now Desire Me' and 'Love James'

cheeky, but the hell.



Few hours later I got this back..


'Shame haha. Thank you for your Birthday wishes x'

I know there isn't much to go on, but just wandered whether her reply is a good sign if any. Any first thoughts from the experts here?

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here to learn.. thats all.

the thing about telling her to impress you in 2 mins is good at the time, as it allows her to qualify herself to you. but the thing about her age would only be funny if it is done in person as you would say it in a jokey way. but to say it in a message, it is possible that she may think that you are showing absolute disinterest. also i think that it was too much about the desire thing and saying 'love' at the end of the message. she replied out of politeness, not sure if it portrays any romantic interest.

thanks for the reply Mickey

I feel quite silly actually.. Sometimes I don't know what is wrong with me and I suppose that is why I am here, to try and sort these things out. When I got the reply, I was quite pleased, and then yesterday evening when I had some time to myself, I thought it wasn't much of a response. I think you are right... it was more out of politeness than anything else.

Do you think I have fucked it?.. she seemed keen on the evening.. so what would you guys do now?

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here to learn.. thats all.

tbh you kinda did. pursuing her more would make you look needy. but the main is that you learnt from this experience and try and do better with another girl.

wish you all the best for future pick up.

Hi Mickey

In an earlier message you mentioned that by saying the bit about her age was possibly showing her 'disinterest'. Now you are saying that messaging again may be needy. (too much interest)
Im just playing devils advocate here, but surely there is an in-between?..

Also, there must be loads of situations whereby maybe someone like myself hasnt laid brilliant groundwork but there is a way to pull it back?..

What if for example..

1) I just messaged her and said - hope you didnt take offence, I was just messing would like to have a chance to chat, give me your number etc..

2) waited a couple of weeks to slowly move back in

3) Something else dynamic /funny (but I dont know what

I am just keen to know what people would do in that situation IF there is anything to be done.
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two other things worth noting are that I am pretty sure (because of facebook) I noticed her log straight in to check the message when sent and then message me back 3 hours later. Possibly trying not to look to keen herself or thinking about what to write.

Also I purposely didnt ask her a question here so its not like I questioned and she didnt reply with another question...

Just my thoughts..

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here to learn.. thats all.

of course there is an in-between which portrays you as an alpha male. some situations are salvageable but sometimes it is hard to make a call and see if it has any affect.

in the examples that you have mentioned. for example 1, that kind of message makes you look bad because you're being apologetic, and the way you were asking for her number sounded too forceful and demanding. for example 2, weeks would be too long, she'd probably forget you by then. example 3 is definitely a must. perhaps wait a couple of days and then send her a message. it's worth a try.