How is this useful?

Ok. I guess I want attention from her as I really miss her. But if the attention I get just means I get thrown in as a friend now then of course I dont want it

Sadly enough it is. I've been in the exact same situation trust me. And the best way is just to cut all contact and ignore her. The concept of it is that you are going to be in a better place eventually and with that you have a better chance at having it work out. It'll be hell, but it has to be done. Even she contacts you, I'd suggest ignoring it, it means nothing. I've gone no contact and had her texting me that she misses me and talking about possible relationship, I gave in and talked again but in the end it was the same result, nothing happened. She chose her ex.

Lodewijkp is just more blunt about it. He's just trying to save you the trouble of heartache.

lmao. Man up dude. She's on another continent, attention from her is totally useless unless you're using it to get her all hot and bothered for when she gets back and you say that's not really what is going on.

Why don't you spend your time thinking about something pertinent for six weeks. When she gets back it actually makes sense to care whether you get attention or not.

And wtf is up with everybody just assuming she's with her ex again btw? You don't know this guy nor the girl. Yeah she may or may not be doing some things but why would that be a problem? When she gets back the ex will be on the other side of the world, doesn't seem like a major hassle to overcome.

But if i ignore her doesnt that make me look pathetic? Like i have sour grapes cos she didnt want to sleep with me anymore?

You already accomplished that. You not talking to her anymore just prevents you from even looking more pathetic.

Yeah, if you shut her out it looks like you were never any sort of friend to begin with. You were just there to try to bang her.

You know what you need to do? Game other girls. You don't have to ignore her but you can't let your social life revolve around one woman, especially one who isn't even in the same time zone as you. Go out and meet more women!

Ok but im getting conflicting reports here. This was a girl I hung with EVERY DAY. Then when she went off abroad we texted EVERY DAY. She then complained that she didnt think we would be keeping in touch this much and could we just see how things go when I go see her. Only stayed for a few days. Had fun with her but the moment never arose apart from a few kisses.

Im now back in the USA. Miss her like hell. I hear from friends shes out and about partying with her girls. In response to a text I sent 4 days ago she replied that i shouldnt have left and that its so much fun here.

If history repeats itself then if I dont make contact she wont.

I just want to try win her back..........

So by not contacting her will that help?

Moderation dude. If you feel like calling her or texting her once in a while, that'as fine. But don't let it dominate your life. You have to have your own life beyond gonig after this girl.

GAME OTHER GIRLS.

Ive got that, understood that. But the whole point im on here is to ask about using a PUA technique of how to flip the attraction switch and get her to start thinking of me, why Im not giving her attention and to want me back. Thats what Im asking advice on guys. Not to simply be told forget her and move on......

UGH

THIS IS WHY MANAGING EXPECTATIONS IS SO DAMN IMPORTANT - READ UP ON IT AND DONT MEET ANOTHER GIRL UNTIL YOU DO

in this case, not just for the girl, but for YOU.

_________________
I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

well, this might suck to hear, but you have oneitis, and you are becoming needy, you can't pretend to not be needy, it doesn't work like that, how you actually are, and what you are actually congruent with, will always shine through, there is no magical way to make her want you again, and you contacting her, and her replying is not her being ''really into you'' or she would be chasing you not the other way around, the general advice given is leave her alone and game other girls, for your own good, give her time to miss you, give yourself time to de-tach from her emotionally so you are not a consumed, obsessed stalker type that exudes that, IM NEEDY AS SHIT, vibe, congruently, honestly and really don't be needy, don't just try to fake it, really do it, it will show, actually stop caring, don't pretend to not care, don't ''think'' of how to not care, and as stated in the previous thread you wrote, either, set your own frame and withdraw when you don't get what you want, or honestly define what you want, and if that frame is not complied with, move on and withdraw, it is the same every time, you lead, and if she doesn't follow you withdraw, you don't ''punish'', you just withdraw, stop chasing, stop obsessing, go get a new girl, come back to this girl after and possibly you will have a new perspective, you seem desperate

ok im going to be less blunt
the woman i dealth with where exactly the same... i've also had it with woman who had commitment issues , like divorced woman....

those woman .. i've talked to them everyday.. i have slept with them and really cared about them... there is one particular woman which i talked to for 4 months , suddenly she left like there is no friendship or connection..only to find out she lied because she couldn't get over her ex.

DUDE.. you want them to give a shit and you want them to care , you cannot believe they would throw you away like that ... believe me they will...it's what most woman do - i've had like 200 hundred private messages from guys who are in the exact same situation - and it all ended bad. it's very hard .. because how can you stop caring about someone after 2 or 4 months , it hurts like hell i know , you also will become angry because you will realise you care about them and they not about you..

believe me .. you are fighting a losing battle... because you care too much about her, you are already needy and it's only a matter of time before she betrays you...and when she betrays you, you will be angry , your trust will be damaged and everyone will suffer from your anger... don't put yourself in that position.

the guys who are telling you to hook up with her are insane.. there is no rocket science .. this shit what you have said - this happened to me 4 TIMES... and it's VERY HARD TO GET OVER such thing..it will suck your emotional energy for weeks or months leaving you unable to focus or relate to other woman... and you will feel stupid because everyone warned you.

do you want to feel like shit for weeks and months.. just for some attention and sex ? if you want to win her back she's not interested enough .. otherwise you wouldn't need to win her back....

it's a simple choice ...

1. either you chose for your own well being...
2. or you fuck yourself up and chase her...

If you have a conflict then do not chase .. if you are needy do not chase..

this is my new rule : once i get needy to a woman who is unhealthy i delete her number.. leaving me unable to contact her in any way...

succes is not achieving your goal .. succes is possible by placing yourself in a enviroment which makes succes possible .. it's a simple descision - sarging solo get you woman for example - you don't have to pickup chicks , you just need to go out. destroying yourself is the same thing but the.. place yourself in a negative enviroment and you are fucked.

you either end it here and you feel bad for a few weeks
or you hook up and you will feel bad for months... after she fucked you up
OR you will hook up with her and maybe it turns out ok ... still she preferred her ex above you and you are second choice...i wouldn't put myself through such thing.

the truth is .. when you have met her .. when she gone home after being with you she probably thought about her EX and not YOU .. that's the reality .. you cannot love someone if you are loving someone else in a obsessive fashion.

Once you get really hurt by someone else you have to realise that many people are like that.. BUT NOT ALL OF THEM .. there are good people and those are the ones that you need to care about...the woman you are dealing with - she kept you like some sort of security blanket, she's nice but not really a good person otherwise she would be honest about it.

_________________
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Exactly!!!! I wanted to say the exact samething, but was too lazy to write it all out haha.

my latest experience....( 2nd one.. the other woman was easy to cut off )

investing into someone for 4 months.. who in the end wasn't real , manipulated me, lied to me and pretended to be my friend just to get what she wants...

now... i realized i had invested in something which i shouldn't do.. and i said i trust her a 100 % , even after she lied to me ( didn't knew it back then )... all that time i had a gut feeling something was off... but i ignored my intution because i don't want to push everyone out of my life

because after a while.. pushing people out of your life becomes painfull.. woman do not know this feeling .. you know why ? they got dicked lined up in rows before them.. the most frustrated and emotional unhealthy chick will get fucked.. if you are a frustrated and emotional unhealthy guy you will be alone most of the time.

now... she basicly was married for 20 years and got hurt .. she doesn't want a relationship.. i understand that she is deeply hurt .. but that gives her no right to manipulate me and act like we have a relationship.. with retarded push pull behaviour...giving me compliments and shit and at the same time ignoring me and being cold...talking about her previous marriage and shit ( like 20 times :S )

i understand where she's coming from... but that does give her no right to hurt my feelings.. i don't understand this whole relationship without a relationship thing anyway... wtf is that about..i realized there is nothing wrong with me... the only mistake i made is trusting someone... she is unhealthy..

i have been angry alot of times.. and you will to because after a while you will realise she wasn't real .. you also will be angry on yourself for feeling this way.. you have to understand you were being real but your feelings aren't answered otherwise you wouldn't be needy.

you can cut her off...
or you can tell her straight on what i have told you.. about the whole ex thingy.. that you are not a second choice...the problem is... when you feel emotions it's hard to cut someone off .. you always see shit objectively later.... that woman.. i should have walked away when she told me she lied about some shit ( i caught her on it ). instead i pondered on it for weeks and meanwhile she is got dick into her ex-marriage-traumatized pussy....

i might as well walked away and gamed some better woman who is trustworthy...people tell me im pussy or i care too much about people.. like it's my mistake to trust and like someone ..

what the fuck is that ?.. it's not wrong to care about people .. it's not wrong to trust someone and liking someone.. .. it's means you are a healthy human being that is able to relate to other people - you are worthy of having relationships with other people... your needyness is just because her behaviour - it triggers you... you know why ? because she doesn't care..

that's the truth.. you are trying to seek something that isn't there...

you know why you are needy.. here is why... you are attached, you love her and you want her to love you... because you don't want to feel angry, bad or rejected. So you start chasing her to see if you are right .. if she really cares , it's just a mechanism to feel bad , because if she rejects you you will feel like shit - so you keep chasing her BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY INVESTED...

now what did i do .. previous woman i have cut off .. those were unhealthy .. but there is a difference between being manipulated/ being hold on a leash and just meeting someone who is emotional unhealthy... FACE PEOPLE AND TELL THEM STRAIGHT ON YOU DÓN'T WANT TO TAKE THEIR SHIT... the reason why you are stalling is because you don't want to mess up , you still want to fuck her..

i can tell you straight on.. nothing can spark hatred and hurt more than not having the chance to meet someone face to face and tell them to stop fucking around with you... if you have the chance to catch her on her bullshit do it , and walk away - you will be legitimate and honest...the reason why you get really fucked up is because you are not expressing yourself, you love other people too much to be direct and straight... and when the love or caring is gone you will hate yourself for not doing it.

you know why the last woman was most brutal to me ? .. because i was talking to her about ''how my previous girlfriends lied to me and how they fucked around, how i got hurt really bad 6 times in a row and how i never want to feel that way again''..told her what happened to me over the years.. you know what's really sad ? she lied to me before i told her that shit and she lied after i told her that shit... no i don't care about her not wanting a relationship .. but lying to someone like that is ridicilious.

after really got hurt like 6 times in a row i decided to trust her and i told her this... i took me alot of courage to trust a woman ever again.. it seems i trusted the wrong one...no i don't care about this whole deal .. this shit has happened, it's the past... i don't care about having a relationship or being fuckbuddies... Just read it and look what im ranting - how im all over the place.. emotional... do you want to feel like that ?

it's not about being potential partners , dates or fuckbuddies .. it's about her being real to you and respecting you... her having the potential to fullfill your needs.. I think she doesn't have any of it. Aside from that first you want to be treated like a human being .. and not like goddamn cattle like the woman i talked about did. you are a human being goddamnit... no you either are real... to yourself and ot her.. il bet you just repeat the same thing with the next woman you will date.. you act now and change it.. or you will get fucked over and over like me and be hurt for the rest of your life.

Do not compromise your values , boundaries , well being to another person.. really man .. it's not fucking worth it , life is too short too feel like this, and the people who did hurt you do not give a fuck otherwise they wouldn't hurt you in the first place.

what im going to do is befriending every woman i will find , and i will avoid all emotionally unhealthy woman - i will not hook up with those. why not friendzone woman ? if they stick around they are worth it..

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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