She wants to leave her boyfriend for me...what to do next?



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 5:18 pm 
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I'll try to keep this short...
This girl and I have have been friends for over a year now. We've always been attracted to each other but after a drunken night together, we finally both came clean about our feelings. The only thing is she just started dating someone (about a month).

I've tried to keep it cool, but now that our feelings are out in the open, we've been hooking up a lot and she's telling me she's wanted to be with me for a long time and would be willing to leave her current bf if I wanted an LTR with her. I'm not usually one to try to break up a relationship and in other scenarios like this, i've been able to just walk away. But I really want her as my girlfriend.

Now i'm aware of the whole 'if she cheated on her bf, then she'll cheat on you' mantra, but i'm willing to take that risk with this girl.

What do I need to do to get this girl to drop her bf for me?
Do I just tell her straight up to drop her bf and be with me?
Or should I just play it cool and let her do it on her own?


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 5:43 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:45 am
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Quote:
Now i'm aware of the whole 'if she cheated on her bf, then she'll cheat on you' mantra
This was my first thought to be honest. But if you're willing to take that risk and you want her, then hell yea tell her dude and ask her to be your girlfriend.. She came right out and told you that she needed to know that you wanted a LTR before she would break up with her boyfriend. The balls in your court now, so decide what you want to do and do it


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:36 pm 
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See? You can get out of the "friendzone".


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 9:07 pm 
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It's rare, but you can get out of the friendzone. We were 'friends' but were obviously attracted to each other, but for our own reasons didn't act on it.....until now.

The next time we talk, I'm goin to tell her what I want but in a non-needy way.

It's just that ive been doing so well at keeping things cool and casual with her...until feelings were shared. Now I find myself thinking about her all the time and wanting to just make her mine right now. I'm obviously not going to rush thing but for the first time, I don't know how to act around her. Keep playing it cool? Or go in aggressive?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:45 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:37 am
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Quote:
I'll try to keep this short...
This girl and I have have been friends for over a year now. We've always been attracted to each other but after a drunken night together, we finally both came clean about our feelings. The only thing is she just started dating someone (about a month).

I've tried to keep it cool, but now that our feelings are out in the open, we've been hooking up a lot and she's telling me she's wanted to be with me for a long time and would be willing to leave her current bf if I wanted an LTR with her. I'm not usually one to try to break up a relationship and in other scenarios like this, i've been able to just walk away. But I really want her as my girlfriend.

Now i'm aware of the whole 'if she cheated on her bf, then she'll cheat on you' mantra, but i'm willing to take that risk with this girl.

What do I need to do to get this girl to drop her bf for me?
wtf you answered this question for yourself?
Do I just tell her straight up to drop her bf and be with me?
do you need to?
Or should I just play it cool and let her do it on her own?
why do you want this to happen?, how do you want it to happen?, and what can you do to make it happen? now put those three answers into action and reflect
you have me confused, you have already had sex with this girl?, she says she will drop the bf, now you are asking how you get her to do that?, this doesn't make sense


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 2:31 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:40 am
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Quote:
It's rare, but you can get out of the friendzone. We were 'friends' but were obviously attracted to each other, but for our own reasons didn't act on it.....until now.

The next time we talk, I'm goin to tell her what I want but in a non-needy way.

It's just that ive been doing so well at keeping things cool and casual with her...until feelings were shared. Now I find myself thinking about her all the time and wanting to just make her mine right now. I'm obviously not going to rush thing but for the first time, I don't know how to act around her. Keep playing it cool? Or go in aggressive?
Why do you want to own her? You think that just because you label her a LTR that is going to make you responsible for her? You might want to reconsider your thought process. It's not healthy to expect things just because you are in a committed relationship. You will start to burden your independence and therefore your happiness. It's better to be open and casual but agree to see each other exclusively. Trying to be a LTR isn't going to help anything.

Yeah and the guy above me is right in asking the question. Why do you want her so bad, haven't you already had sex with her...??

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:38 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:15 pm
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Quote:
Quote:
It's rare, but you can get out of the friendzone. We were 'friends' but were obviously attracted to each other, but for our own reasons didn't act on it.....until now.

The next time we talk, I'm goin to tell her what I want but in a non-needy way.

It's just that ive been doing so well at keeping things cool and casual with her...until feelings were shared. Now I find myself thinking about her all the time and wanting to just make her mine right now. I'm obviously not going to rush thing but for the first time, I don't know how to act around her. Keep playing it cool? Or go in aggressive?
Why do you want to own her? You think that just because you label her a LTR that is going to make you responsible for her? You might want to reconsider your thought process. It's not healthy to expect things just because you are in a committed relationship. You will start to burden your independence and therefore your happiness. It's better to be open and casual but agree to see each other exclusively. Trying to be a LTR isn't going to help anything.

Yeah and the guy above me is right in asking the question. Why do you want her so bad, haven't you already had sex with her...??
I dont understand what you're saying here....in your opinion, what's the difference between an LTR and dating exclusively? To me it's the same end game...she'd be my girlfriend, which I hope would be a long-term thing.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 1:43 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2011 3:11 pm
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tell her you want a relationship with her ....

..see what she replies and SHE SHOULD BE FORWARD ABOUT BREAKING UP, if she is GOOD then she should do so asap(no waiting around thats just stupid )

if she's not forward about it and proactive to break up and be with you then she ain't no good mate.


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