Went to a small hardware store today. I've lived here for two years and this store seems to have a consistent supply of cute girls. I've had a girlfriend most of those two years so I couldn't really do anything about it, but now I don't, so....

I believe I have seen this girl once before, so shes probably only worked there a few months.

I was returning something so I immediately went up to the cashier to return it, she was manning the register.

We exchanged the mundane details of the transaction, and she seemed very uncomfortable, as if I had somehow made her feel that way.

I noticed she was wearing a type of jacket with a certain feature that I found interesting (wont go into specifics here), so I commented on it. Suddenly she opened up and was all smiles and explained that she bought it at walmart and that its really nice and warm etc.. It was like NIGHT AND DAY. We went back and forth a few sentences. I felt IMMEDIATELY attracted to her in an unrealistically LTR kind of way. Sometimes I open to girls and feel less attracted to them after I break through that first barrier, but not this one. Something seemed to click. While I was talking to her I followed my instincts, which told me not to try anything negative even if clearly joking.

Anyhoo, I had no idea where to go from there, there were lots of people in line, all watching us, and the transaction was over, so I just said thanks and she said have a nice day. I didn't leave, because there were some things in the store I had to get, so I shopped for awhile,successfully avoiding her line of sight, since I had no idea what the next step would be and didn't want to look like I was hanging around for ANY reason besides shopping. I wished I could just leave, but I had to check out, so I waited until someone else opened up a register next to her,bought my stuff, and left.

Whats strange is, I felt very uncomfortable until I said something, too. But once I did, I felt extremely comfortable and natural until I ran into the wall of not knowing the next move. Interesting.

Knowing how to handle these retail situations would be HUGE for me, because there are lots of cute girls at stores where I live, and I am not into going out to bars or clubs.

I have some specific questions for the experts:

1- I've noticed that girls respond with a certain pattern to me in retail situations. This goes back for years, at many stores, with many types of girls. I'd say it covers 90% of my interaction with young women at stores. It goes like this: I go up to buy something, they seem very uncomfortable, and stay that way unless I say something unrelated to the transaction. If I say something, they almost always open up and its like a faucet got turned on. What is this phenomenon? Whats going on here??

2- How should I handle the girl I met today? I'm thinking that I must find a way to approach her when shes not busy, which means going to the store when its dead and either asking her to help me with something, or buying something when there isn't going to be anyone in line. I'm not sure what to talk about but I think I might be able to come up with something. I have a funny feeling her and I might kind of click, although I could be totally wrong.

3- Do I still need to do the newbie mission? I don't have trouble approaching girls in this way. I think instead of saying hi to random people, I should just attempt to talk briefly to every cute girl at every store I go to in a day.

This may be a false observation, but I think you get into one girl way too easily. I don't want to call it oneitis, but it is something similar.

Wow, their was a similar question like this, regarding cashiers. I think since you are only social with them for a brief period of time, you are establishing rapport. Everything you are doing you would do in sequences while you see her, unless the store isn't busy one day and you can run game for a little longer...

for example, you guys hit it off, now when you go back you be sure to go to her register and do something similar and then you can number close, or if you have the balls just ask when she leaves work and take her on an instant date.

1. It's not just girls at stores. When you work in anything involving seeing a lot of people - waiting tables, retail, secretary work - saying hello and "did you find everything ok" turns into a robotic task. You hear about the weather or the economy 40 times a day. The second you take it off the track, the human side flickers to life. I waited tables for a number of years and all my co-workers were teh same way.

I kind of agree with the other respondent - you're thinking about it too deeply. When you put your potential with this girl in this shining light, you start to develop a fear of screwing up, and it WILL mess with your game. She's a random girl in a hardware store - not the love of your life.

I hear you. I realized the implications of how I described what I felt about her indicated some kind of oneitis. Im over it. Shes just another girl. Thanks for pointing it out.

Could you explain what you mean by sequences? I don't quite follow you and would like to know what you are trying to get across.

What I really want to happen, and what would be worth waiting for, is to catch her when its dead, and when she is not stressed, and have an extended conversation in the store. It *would* be a victory to wham-bam number close, but thats useless and hollow if I don't generate some kind of connection. I feel like its more my style to seek an actual conversation then it is to just push for a number. Plus I think thats better training then just trying to number close and run away.

An extended convo with her would be a victory as much as a number I think.

I think I know what you mean by robotic, but what I am picking up is some kind of tension and uncomfortability. Maybe its what you are talking about. But it sure feels tense. Does that sound right?

I am deprogramming myself to delete the shining lite. Just another girl.

I think RoyalATL kinda slams the nail on the head there. See Cash registers or even waiters are trapped in routine. Lol just imagine how often a day they say something like - "thanks,Have a nice day" "that'll be 9.95" lol or "Credit or Cash?". so when you say something other than the usual,like a personal compliment,they'l jump at the chance to reply. And i think its a good idea for you to wait till the shop is quiet,giving you more time to game her. Me personaly would do something like this :
Me :"Operating Tills must be one of the toughest jobs out there.. I mean saying the same thing to a stranger every other min?" +say it jokingly,thus body language and tone is vital,to build comfort+
whatever her response is she'l give you something to work with. +#1 COMPLAIN+
She :"Hahah.. Tell me about it.. Blah blah.. +she complains bout the job+"
Me : "Haha.. It does have an upside for girls though.. Think about it you save money on Manicures lol" +casual joke+
or +#2 ITs ALRIGHT+
She : "haha.. Nah its actualy not so bad.. After sometime you get use to it"
Me :"You get use to it,lol need i say more?"
at this point if she gave you enuf IOIs you could transition to telling her a story bout some bad or good jobs you had or ask an opinionated question.. and take it from there..
Thats just how id go..
Anyway goodluck man,hope you get to bang her lol.

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The MORE you WANT it, the LESS your chances are of LOSING it! -Lol i dont know who said that so ima claim it.

I think RoyalATL kinda slams the nail on the head there. See Cash registers or even waiters are trapped in routine. Lol just imagine how often a day they say something like - "thanks,Have a nice day" "that'll be 9.95" lol or "Credit or Cash?". so when you say something other than the usual,like a personal compliment,they'l jump at the chance to reply. And i think its a good idea for you to wait till the shop is quiet,giving you more time to game her. Me personaly would do something like this :
Me :"Operating Tills must be one of the toughest jobs out there.. I mean saying the same thing to a stranger every other min?" +say it jokingly,thus body language and tone is vital,to build comfort+
whatever her response is she'l give you something to work with. +#1 COMPLAIN+
She :"Hahah.. Tell me about it.. Blah blah.. +she complains bout the job+"
Me : "Haha.. It does have an upside for girls though.. Think about it you save money on Manicures lol" +casual joke+
or +#2 ITs ALRIGHT+
She : "haha.. Nah its actualy not so bad.. After sometime you get use to it"
Me :"You get use to it,lol need i say more?"
at this point if she gave you enuf IOIs you could transition to telling her a story bout some bad or good jobs you had or ask an opinionated question.. and take it from there..
Thats just how id go..
Anyway goodluck man,hope you get to bang her lol.

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The MORE you WANT it, the LESS your chances are of LOSING it! -Lol i dont know who said that so ima claim it.

I suppose I could show up before closing time on the same day I saw her last.

I'm psyching myself out by talking about this so much. I'm going radio dead now until it happens, then I'll report back.

Wait one more thing...

How can I DHV in this situation? By definition I'm waiting for there to be as few people around as possible, so I can't really work off others for social proof.

A wing woman would be useful but I have none.

I may be left with just my clothes and game.

It would be really useful to have some DHV strategy though. I may not even go for this unless I figure something out for that.

Yeah, but the number close will lead to the extended conversation.

And what I meant by sequences is that as a cashier, her job is to get customers rang up and paid for and out of the store as quickly as possible to be able to move onto the next customer.

so logically, you would have to do what you would do in a night over a smaller time frame. where as you could number close in maybe 15 - 20 minutes, you only are at her register for 10 minutes if that.. so just go to her aisle multiple times, build rapport, work your game then number close one day or if it is the end of her shift set up a date right after work.

I wouldn't linger around too long since she is working it may come off as obsessive and DLV. You are the man and you have other shit going on in your life to be just hanging out at some HBs job chatting her up.


go in, make eye contact, smile, get whatever you need to get, go to her aisle, run game, leave. rinse and repeat until you're ready to number close.

good luck

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Respect the cock.

So you are suggesting to game her over the course of a few visits to the store, and not try to number close on my next visit?

I'm worried that I could DLV by chatting her up more than one more time. I think I have to go for broke on my next visit, dont I? Doesnt it DLV by talking to her and then leaving, only to show up again some other day? Isnt that showing some sort of AA or AFC type of "working up to it" style behavior?

I don't think so because you're building the impression that she isn't the prize, you're just there to buy what you need and that's it. You're there to buy hardware, not flirt with her.

Now i'm not saying to go to the store like 7 different times before you number close, but two or three would be good. you've done it once, so go for the number close the next time you're in there.

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Respect the cock.