How can I be really sure?

First off, hey everyone. I'm new here. I am not all to familiar with the terms associated with PUA but I'll learn. And I'd just like to say this seems like a really fantastic community. People are always so willing to help each other which is always fantastic to see!

Anyway back to this little problem of mine. I am an architecture student in university. In my class there is this really beautiful and smart girl. We are in 2nd year right now and i did not talk all that much to her in first year. 2nd year we have talked a hell of a lot more, and even help each other out every now and then (with regards to work)

During first year i found out through my friend that he and her both had a little thing going on (just making out no sex, or so I was told) my friend then broke it off with her as his EX came back to him.

2nd year, he isn't around anymore and she seems just fine. Every now and then, I think i manage to catch her looking at me for a split second (though i could be imagining things) I talk to her ('hi how are you' etc) and its normal. Sometimes when I am walking around and looking at other students work she eventually ends up in the same place as me (kinda like she was following me) when i say hi to her then, she doesn't look at me but still replies with a 'hi', (in a sort of nervous/frantic way).

Yesterday when my friend was presenting his work, i sat on a table, even though there were free seats around. She came and sat by me (really close) saying 'this is a good space' I replied with 'what makes a good space?' (with the implication that it could be who you sit next to) she looked down and smiled and said a bit nervously 'i have a good view of the work'. Later on i made a lame ass joke to which she giggled to. One time i was having a chat with a tutor of mine, regarding my work, and she was sitting on the other side of the table. When the tutor left, she got up, hovered for a bit and said my work was interesting, and tried to engage in a convo which was a good sign i guess?

There are times where i get the complete opposite feeling though (that she doesn't like me) for example: one time she waited all day to watch presentations, and when my turn came (i was last) she stuck around for 5mins then left to go home! She rarely engages in conversation with me, but will do so with other guys quite easily

My question to you, my good friends, is from what you have read is there any attraction? or am I imagining things?

And if there is how should I act on it? I have had conversations with here before (normal and quite short and its more often than not about uni work). We have been in the same class for a little over a year (as I mentioned we are in 2nd year now)

There is a Christmas party in uni coming up? maybe I should ask if she is going?

Many thanks in advance!

Anyone?

Where are you studying architecture ? (Don't have to be specific)
if you don't mind me asking. i think she likes you and here is why i think so.
1. You catch her staring at you repeatedly. She is obviously attracted to you. Either that or you have something on your face everytime you are around her.
2. She is still nervous around you even if you have known each other for a while now.
If she can talk to other guys without a problem but becomes nervous around you, she probably is into you.
I myself become a bit nervous and start to stutter when speaking to girls i like.
3. She is making the effort to talk to you/engage in conversation. Her trouble in trying to talk to you also shows more of her nervousness around you, which is a good thing. She obviously is taking her time as she doesn't want to say something stupid around you. Everytime i get nervous, i talk slower and make longer pauses as i need more time to think about what i have to say.
(I wouldn't worry about her leaving early from your presentation. There could have been some place she had to go or something important to attend to. Don't look at her not liking you as a factor to why she left early. )

I'm surprised that you haven't spontaneously kissed her yet
But then again, i could be wrong.
Tell us the topics you two usually talk about. Is it mostly schoolwork? What else do you have in common besides school.
Report back with a few more clues.

Hey, thanks for the great post I really appreciate it.

I'm studying in London!

Thing is, she isn't a nervous person. She is quite confidant. When we talk she seems quite normal (other than the few moments i mentioned in my post) and this is mostly because whenever I have the chance to talk to her, its almost always regarding work (in one way or another)

If, when we talk, it isn't about work then its because it somehow branches off work i.e. talking about drawing methods, which leads to how time consuming it is, which then leads to what she does in her spare time e.t.c.

More often than not she is surrounded by her girly friends who, I think, I get along with really well. When I try to talk to her (with or without her group) I get unintentionally cock blocked, a friend of mine just acts really goofy which kind of dampens my style a bit, i've told him about this and he's trying to stop.

Maybe I need to separate my self from my friends slightly, in order for her to feel comfortable to approach me?. As I said in my previous post she RARELY engages in convo with me, but does so very easily with my friends and other guys in the class.

The guy who she had a thing with, he barely comes in class is still in my class but just doesn't turn up though I know he is coming back after the Christmas break. She doesn't talk to him now. But she doesn't know that I know about this little thing.

When approaching her I have always found my self making the subject matter about 'work'. I cannot seem to go up to her say 'Hi' followed by something which isn't school work related. One time when she was sitting next to me, I felt a really strong urge to compliment her hair (because it looked amazing) but I didn't, I thought it would have been awkward for her (and possibly more so for me) come to think of it I have only ever complemented her with regards to her work and not her as a person :/ (maybe I should do so when I see her tomorrow)

I also i think she is 2 - 3 years older than my self. I don't think she knows, but at the same time I don't think she would care.

She is a very hard worker, her work is just amazing. Because of this she is hard at work a lot of the time (at her place)

As I'm sure you have gathered, we barely talk about anything social. Which means we often don't get to talk about the things each other likes/dislikes e.t.c. I know she has a passion for painting where her strongest is oil painting and weakest is water color mine is the other way round. Music/tv it's all generic nothing she feels great passion for in that department.

I also sometimes (not all the time) when we are talking, she would get unusually close, but still not looking at me. This would when everyone is still around.
She knows my name, but strangely enough, I don't ever recall her calling me by it. It's always been: 'ah, is this yours?' OR 'when did *insert persons name* do this?' which is very discouraging.

As mentioned previously, I have a Christmas party on the last day of the term. I hoping she will be there (I'll ask her) but i get the feeling she won't. We have lectures before hand, in which she always sits in the front (I always sit at the back) so I'll make an effort to sit next to her. But it'd be no point as she sits there to concentrate right?

Also no spontaneous kisses yet haha.

Hey. First off, congrats on studying architecture in London and I hope you succeed in all of your passions.

I think it's great that you have a friend who understands he is unintentionally cock-blocking you. Him working on not trying to do so again is nice but it may be a good idea to not be around your friends while she is with you if this is becoming a continuous problem. The key here is to get some alone time with her. If you can be with her but with friends, you have to observe if there is a chance of being cock-blocked again. If so, don't hang out with her at that moment. If you think there is a low to zero percent chance of being cock-blocked then hanging out her would be safe. Perhaps ask her to have a study date with you as this will separate you and her from the classroom.

I want to ask you this. Does she know that you know that she does not have a boyfriend at the moment? Sorry if that question sounds weird. Has she ever told you or hinted to you that she does not a have a boyfriend? If not, try and get yourself in a situation where you are alone with her. (This is why I suggest you go on a study date. Since you do not know if she is 100% interested in you, asking her on a study date would be more safe than asking her out on a date for some coffee, a movie or a dinner. We have to test her level of fondness for you. If she is not 100% into you right now, it doesn't mean you have a 0% chance with her. As she becomes more comfortable around you, she will see that you are a great guy and there is no doubt she will eventually fall in love with you). Alright, back to the plan at hand.

When you get this alone time with her, talk with her. It doesn't matter if it is about work or about what she does in her spare time. But if you have the choice between the two topics, the latter would be the way to go because if you ask questions about what she does in her spare time, it shows you are interested in her life and what she does. (Remember your intentions here. Although it is a study date, you can make it less of a study date by asking her personal questions about her life. Just make sure they are not too personal. You can make the questions less personal by pretending that you created the questions off the top of your head and not just blurting out the questions like a robot who memorized the questions before hand. I'm not saying you shouldn't memorize the questions [a few of which I am going to give you] but make sure you ask the questions in a way that does not come off as being artificial or memorized. Some tips on how to do this are to wait a few seconds before every question and continuously move your eyes around the room (like up at the ceiling or at things that look interesting). This is not meant to make you look slow. It is meant to make your questions more genuine to her.

While you are talking about work, school or if possible, her spare time, keep on going until you hit a good silence where you feel you both have run out of topics to talk about. This is where you bring up the question. You can rephrase it to your liking if you want:

"So, [Girl's name](you mentioned that she doesn't call you buy your name too often. By continuously using her name when you are with her, this makes her feel inclined to use your name as well when addressing you. In my bio lab, I like to call girls by their name and they return the favor when they want to say something to me.) , tell me about your relationships. Perhaps family relationships or your friendships. Oh wait! I've got an idea. Tell me about your boyfriend [or girlfriend, if you roll that way. I don't judge.] (don't use this joke if you don't want to. I felt like adding it because I feel like it works at the right situations. Just tell her to tell you about her boyfriend if that is sufficient for your situation). (Again, you know she doesn't have a boyfriend. You are just assuming she has one. By asking her to tell you about her boyfriend, you are not making it seem like you are are advancing on her and being too direct.

Once she tells you she doesn't have one, you must act a bit surprised or shocked. This is where the flurry of indirect compliments come in. Say something like, "Really? Well you must have been in a relationship or two or likely more, tell me about it.... or if you prefer we can always talk about a few drawing methods and how time consuming they are." Here you are indirectly complimenting her by assuming that she has been in a relationship because she is beautiful and by adding that joke you are making it less serious and not making it seem like she is forced to talk about relationships if she does not want to. If she talks to you about her past relationships, she is giving you all the things you must not do to destroy a relationship with her. Which is good, since you do want a relationship with her. If she hints that sexual relationships are not what she wants to talk about right now, you can talk about family relationships. Talking about her family makes her feel emotional and makes her able to open up to you more. I love talking about family with girls. Make sure you also talk about your family and how much you love your family. This will make you more attractive to her. Why? While talking about your own family, also say that you want a family of your own and how awesome that would be. Ask her if she wants the same. The key here is to make her imagine having a family with someone. Don't try to make her imagine having babies with you. That would creep her out. Just make her imagine it. Ask what she would name her children. What type of house she would like (colors, style, size). When she thinks about family, there is a good chance you will be associated with it and be in her thoughts. Joke about the names she gives you and give a few names of your own and playfully argue about the names (something that married couples do when choosing names for their babies).

Again if she knows that you know that she does not have a boyfriend, don't do the boyfriend route. Just go straight into talking about family relationships.

I know it's not much but I hope this will help.

Also a few tips on complimenting.
What I like to do when I feel like I genuinely want to compliment someone on something, is I indirectly compliment them on it by asking where she got it followed by a direct compliment by saying it is nice. For example, if I see a girl with a cute pair of shoes, I ask her where she got them and I tell her I think they are nice and I may go get a pair for a sister or a cousin or a friend for her birthday. There have been countless times where I could have complimented a girl at college or at the mall or park and missed the chance to do so because I did not have this method in hand. Do the same but with what you think is cute about your particular girl. For example since you think her hair looks nice, ask her who did her hair or where she did her hair. When she tells you, THEN you tell her you think it is nice. Then, maybe you can say she should do her hair more often because it is really cute. It is easier to do it this way instead of just blurting out that you think her hair is nice.

Maybe as you get to know each other more, you can offer her a few lessons in water coloring in return for some lessons on oil painting.

Who knows, with all the passion in the room for the arts, it might lead into some passionate kissing or some passionate..... well you get the idea.

Wow, again thanks for the reply.

I read your post after I came back from the Christmas Part, and funnily enough I did most of the stuff you said! Here's how it went down.

Came into uni in the morning and me and my classmates were just talking and waiting for the tutors, I'm sitting next to the windows with a couple of my friends in front of me. She walks in and sits at a table in the centre of the studio. She then picks-up her bag and then moves toward the windows where I was, only to my right and slightly further.

The tutors come in and we all shift towards them and after we have had a very small discussion we disperse again, she gets a chair and puts it where I was sitting in front of the window and just sits facing the window alone, whilst I and my friends are chatting away to her side. I then take notice to her and say 'are you OK? You look a bit sad' she replies with 'no no, I'm fine. Just.......waiting for something' We then get talking (as well as my friends) and my initial thought was since my friends are here, I should just go for a general conversation and eventually ask if she'll be coming to the Christmas party. Me and my friends we just chatting to her normally then she asks 'are you coming to the Christmas party?' I of course replied with a yes. Afterwards she was chatting to the goofy friend of mine whilst i was nearby staring outside of the window. Afterwards my goofy friend tells me that whilst he was talking to her, she looked at me and smiled (which, at the time i didn't take notice to as i was looking out the window)

After lunch we were all invited to the lecture hall for a fun little architecture quiz. I and my two buddies were late and when we arrived we found out you had to get into pairs. Those two got into pairs which left me alone. The girl I like then immediately asks if I would join her. She already had a partner but was willing to give that partner to another one of her friends who did not have a partner. The girl who did not have a partner was lying and said 'no no i have a partner, he's just in the front' which meant the girl I like could not join me (but it was defo a nice gesture)

After the quiz they a healthy portion of the class went off to a local pub (and would go back to the uni for the party) I didn't join them since I don't drink. But at the same time I only saw them go off at a distance, had I been in close proximity I'm sure I would have been dragged along. Anyway me and my budz go for a pizza and then come back for the part a couple of hours later.

We were at the party early and it was mostly 3rd years and we were 2nd years which was fine. Half an hour passed and then it gets packed. But still not sign of the people who went off to the pub (which included her as well) 5 - 10 mins more and I see them coming in. I'm already near the window talking to one friend of mine whilst the rest of my friends were in the centre of the room. When she came in with the rest of my classmates, she initially was talking to them but made her way towards me and my friend asking what we were doing (just talking) whilst she gets talking to me, my friend makes a swift exit (thank god) and its just her and me. She was asking why I wasn't at the pub and sounded genuinely upset! I asked ' I don’t drink but what did I miss' she says 'nothing' I say 'but you're making it sound like I missed a big event' she replied with 'no it's just....I wanted you to be there *awkward 1sec pause* I wanted everyone to be there’

90% of the party consisted of me talking to her alone; I got to know HER as a person. I comically said 'we only ever talk about work I don't even know you as a person, OK, what’s your favourite colour?' she laughed heavily and answered and I asked a couple more questions in similar fashion to which she, again laughed a lot at and replied. We even got to talk about each other’s families, likes/dislikes, marriage. There was this other dude who was hitting on her, I separated those two later on but he then dragged us two to a table with his classmates on it. It’s still her and I talking. I made another comical remark by saying 'if I were to marry someone I would need to know their favourite colour and she laughed a lot again.

Whilst sitting down and chatting she would mention that she does not like going on the tube alone in late hours. She mentioned this on many occasions, one time some random dude said ‘she’s looking at you man’. I even revealed to her one of my guilty pleasures and to my astonishment she said she loves it as well and I, on reaction, gave her a hug to which she returned (slightly). One time I asked to see her hand (to imitate a teacher hitting a student on the hand with a ruler) and she was very tentative (so I dropped that joke). This drunken guy also started hitting on her, and even tried to tickle her ear which annoyed/worried her. The guy apologised and invited her to go clubbing with his friends afterwards, I interrupted him and made the situation more comical (so that it would blow up in his face) I asked the dude why he’s only asking her, and what’s wrong with me etc. (doing the whole ‘am I not good enough for you’ act) and he backed off which then made her feel more relaxed.

Nearing the end of the party, my friend says we are leaving and she also wants to leave (since she doesn’t like to ride the tube alone at night. She asked if I was leaving as well and I said yes. We all got on the train, I actually got on the complete opposite train I was supposed to go and I just said I’m going to a friend’s house. So she, I, and my two friends get on. She gets off on the last stop. I made up a stop which would be after my two friends so I could talk to her more. Throughout the entire train journey I was talking to her about her interests and mine.

So my stop is two more stops away and I suggest that I get off at a later stage, and make up some BS that I can catch a bus there which would make the journey quicker. And she says ‘no, I don’t think that would be a good idea, best stick with the route you know best’. I was surprised I thought she would want me to stay on the train longer and talk to her. She seemed like she was having fun and I was having fun. But regardless we continue talking and making jokes up until my stop comes. I also asked what she is doing for Christmas or new years and she smiled and said nothing. I found out that she does not like guys who have a strong and overly direct approach to women.

My stop arrives, and I found out she did not know my name! And I have been calling her by her name all the time  regardless I made light out of the situation and made a little joke saying she broke my heart etc. she wished me a happy Christmas I did the same and got of the tube. As soon as I got up off my seat she grabbed a newspaper which negated any physical contact before saying goodbye.
Anyway, that’s what happened. We are now on a 3 week Christmas break!

I should add...

She seems very defensive. even if I complimented her the way you said, you would have a grateful, yet at the same time, awkward reply?

Isn't really a girly girl (which i like)

And is modest.

And yes, I'm pretty sure she knows that I know she is single. Various talks had strong implications, though she has not directly told me.

I gave her a compliment saying she's beautiful (fitted it in my telling her why that dude and other dudes would compliment her) she was very modest and just said 'oh, thank you very much' almost like she did not want the focus to be her beauty.
As mentioned before she does not like it when guys come one too direct and strong.

As far as touching is concerned she rubs my arm (or anyone else for that matter guy/girl) when I make her laugh. One time I pretended to leave the party early and she violently grabbed my shirt (form the chest area) to stop me.
I realize the lack of physical action, but it's not why I'm attracted to her. She seems like an awesome person and talking to her that much really made my night!

Hey man, congrats on your progress. Sounds like you two are really hitting it off. When are you proposing? Haha kidding.
But seriously, i wouldn't be surprised if you two became a couple. There are so many hints that she is into you.
The way she looked at you and smiled even though you weren't even speaking to her at the moment.
How she was concerned that you were not at the pub. I would be dissapointed too if that one person that i truly liked was not at the place that i thought she would be at.
The way she laughed at your jokes.
And what do you mean not a lot of physical action? Her rubbing your arm while you make her laugh and her pulling your shirt on the chest area when you joked about leaving. the hug on the tube. (At first i did not know what you meant by tube but i figured it was a means of transportation equivalent to a bus or train. Sorry i'm from California. haha!) That's a lot of physical contact right there.
You mentioned that you observed her to not like being directly advanced upon.
I think that if you keep being funny and joke around her like you are doing right now, you have a great chance of making her your gifriend. She obviously is able to relax around you more, possibly because you are acting more relaxed around her and continuously making light hearted jokes. My advice to you is to just keep acting the same way around her and she will fall deeper for you. Keep doing what you are doing as it will make it much easier for you to form a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with her.
By the way you are describing her as being modest and not fixated with beauty you make her out to be unbelivable. I think you have found a great girl. It is really hard to find girls that are modest and not preoccupied with beauty and i think that it's great that you like her for her personality and her character and not only for her physical aspects. This shows that you really care for her and you being able to talk to her more about other things besides work shows that you two can make a great couple as great couples are formed through verbal communication and not just through physical contact.

thank you for the kind words. The rubbing on the arm thing she does to almost anyone though haha (but thanks again)

oh well, here's hoping when I see her after the Christmas break I can further her and my relationship.

I'm actually going to be learning the guitar so I can play it for her on her b-day (though this may be pushing it!)