Eating lunch by myself at a foodcourt today, noticed this really cute girl sitting by herself on a long table so I moved to sat across from her right away.

I used the asking for time opener, followed by asking her how she's doing. She opened up right away saying she's tired from not sleeping last night, so I used cocky funny all throughout, making fun of her having weird sleep schedule, continuosly deflecting her 'what do you do' and 'how old are you' questions (I told her I'm a 50 yr old North Korean spy, among other fake job titles) she seem to be enjoying it, eventually I finished my lunch and told her I'm going to my office to work on a Sunday (which I actually was going to do) I asked for her phone and she gave it to me after some resistance. I called my own phone and handed it back to her very obviously.

When I was about to get up and leave she asked me if I'm seriously going to my office and I said yes, and she actually agreed to follow me (?!) Keep in mind this is only my second attempt at cold approach, so I thought I had her in the bag and went relentless with the cocky and funny all throughout, teasing her for following a stranger to his workplace, etc, on the way I stopped by a Starbucks to have tea but she said she doesn't like tea, then asked me why she's following me all the way here. I told her because she has nothing better to do apparently, and she said ok I'm leaving and stormed out of the shop.

Here's what I've learned:

-I have huge approach anxiety and I've only used the 'how's it going' line twice so far, but in both occasions the girls opened up way more than I expected, spilling their whole life story at me, which gave me something to go on.

-I should have come up with alternate plan after finishing lunch? I was so intent on going to my office studio, and didn't want to change my plan because that would seem like I'm being too needy for her. I've read that changing locations with a girl would raise the attraction lvl, and I didn't know where else to go (she doesn't like movies, doesn't like tea, already ate)

-It became less about 'getting her' and more about wanting to see how far I can take this and see how far she would follow me. I made her ride the subway albeit one stations away, through out she kept asking me if I'm seriously going to my work, and I kept hitting her with 'I can't believe you're seriously following me' ' you're a weird person' 'didn't your parent tell you not to follow a stranger'

-It might have been better after the number close to just plan something else for later and walk away, because at that point I was pretty sure she was way into me. Instead I made her follow me around and lost my attraction throughout. I was way too eager to make something happen right away

-Even after she left I foolishly thought I totally have her because I was being such a dick and didn't realize I may have been pushing the mean thing way overboard without building any attraction. I tried to give her a call few hours later and she didn't answer.


any additional thoughts would be appreciated

obviously you're using the push and pull technique but you used too much push and not enough pull. it's all about reward and punishment. there should always be a balance in order to result in perfect attraction.

Thanks for the input. Funny enough I was more afraid of pulling than pushing, I thought if I mess up and pull way too strong or too early it would be more of a turn off than keep pushing away. I realized I was too fixated on switching location before 'turning on the charm' which is too far away and should've done so during the trip to keep her interested. Also complete lack of kino eventhough I had opportunities when she was nudging me several times after deflecting her questions