Hey guys. New here, but have posted a little at theattractionforums. This place seems like a better community. Cheers!

Anyway...

Hot girl requests me out of nowhere on facebook. Did I come on like I was trying too hard? I thought I was being playful. This shit is getting frustrating for me.

Me: Don't spend too much time looking at my sexy pics

Her:haha.....how are you? im pam by the way.....totally thought you were someone else but you are cute....im a dancer for the nets in nj

Me:You're a dancer AND a cheerleader? We should just skip everything and get married. Vegas or Bangkok?

Her: ha...im actually just a dancer

Me: aww booo. Scratch the marriage then, we can just be friends ha.. I'm actually learning how to house dance, but I can't tell you how because you'll laugh at me haha. What else do you do besides dance?

Her: why dont you get on fb chat and talk to me
Chat...
Her: Heyy

Me: talk to me

Her: so why dont you tell me what you do for fun

Me: Well.. past couple months haven't had a lot of free time due to swimming for my school
but surfing is my favorite thing in this world
ever try it?

Her:well swimmers are usually sexy.....as longas you would model your trunks for me
i have my own surf board actually....not great but i can do it

Me: haha oh boy.. already fishing for the pics
I gotta be careful with you. You're trouble

Her: haha what?
i didnt ask for pictures haha

Me: haha perhaps I misunderstood you
as longas you would model your trunks for me ?

Her: i meant that in general haha....like being forward....saying if we hungout some time
jokingly

Me: ha I see
well tell me a couple qualities you possess that would make me want to get to know you better

Her: haha i had a long day....i dont know if i can handle an interview
sorry for bothering you though

Me: interview? ha alright
take care

Her: k,cya hun

Me: cyaa


Me saying cyaa again was probably lame, huh? But what the hell I don't know the girl so I am asking her to tell me a couple things about her.. is it that much of a friggin interview? This stuff is supposed to be fun, and it is at times.. but for the most part its just frustrating dealing with hot girls. Any thoughts?

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B*tches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks.

yeah you came off a little too aggressive asking her why she wouldnt do this or that.

and damn she was a dancer for the new jersey nets, thats an NBA basketball team!

Thanks for rubbing it in man. Well aware. lol.

Where was I aggressive though? where did I ask her why she wouldnt do this or that? I'm guessing you are referring to the qualities thing

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B*tches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks.

I initially read your post wrong, my bad, she was saying that stuff haha.

but..

You apologized when she said she didn't ask for pics, shoulda teased her with that.

You got kind of defensive when she said you were interviewing her. Could have spun it around and negged her

try reinitiating with her, she was showing interest with questions. She also implied she may want to hang out

before I reply.. thanks for your help man. I appreciate it.

I think the one thing i disagree with you is apologizing about the pics. I said perhaps I misunderstood you. That's an apology you think?

How could i have teased her instead? and, 'interview? ha alright' did sound a little defensive.. but she was basically cutting the convo already. any ideas of how I could have negged her?

Thanks again for your help. If you have any suggestions on how you would re initiate, I'm open for it haha!

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B*tches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks.

easy on the qualifying stuff, she opened you, gave u a bunch of IOIs

I agree with her, WTF is up with the job interview?!?!

I'd have instead transitioned into setting up an actual meeting. I dont think it's too soon as she already entertained opportunity of the two of you meeting.

Ugh, why'd you go with that line?!?!?! (face palm)

Apologizing after setting that trap down looks a bit weak IMO, but all is not lost just hit her up another day but chill out on the qualifying crap it looks bad.

ugh. the truth hurts. ha but yea I guess it was pretty bad. But where am i apologizing that you guys keep saying?

I understand the face palm, believe me.. but I think after she said the thing about the pics.. I felt like I 'fucked up' you know? I didn't know where to go with it. ugh why didn't I just keep it simple

EDIT: oh and papi.. how long would you wait/what would you say to reinitiate? She lives a little far so I guess I was hesitant to push for a hang out so quick

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B*tches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks.

Don't wait too long, if it's already been a day or so I'd go right ahead and initiate things. If you're feeling a bit emotional over things still then deal with that first; women can detect emotional leakage quite well and if you're putting out vibes that you're a little b*tch then she'll immediately turn off of you. Get your game right boy.

As for re-initiating, everyone's got their own style (well, not everyone). I generally take a shock-and-awe approach saying something completely random, sometimes disgusting/crude (for shock value) such as a lude but funny comment or observation.

She's a cheerleader?

"Why don't cheerleaders in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Because their balls would show!"

Corny, maybe (I didn't make it up, blame Google). But it kinda stands out there as random and some girls find that exciting because it'll keep her guessing as to what you might say next (the whole being unpredictable thing through text as that's all u have at the moment since you've yet to meet in the flesh).

Im not saying you should use that line, but think outside the box. Don't be afraid to experiment. Outlandish is good!

I wouldn't re-open with a "hi, how are u?" as it sounds lame (unless she's already wet for u and waiting for the word to jump on your c*ck - but this is unlikely the case). Bring some energy to the interaction, chicks love an engaging guy. Keep her guessing/be mysterious and playful. Once she opens and warms to you again grab her digits and tell her you're going to take her somewhere that'll just absolutely blow her mind (I don't care if you've got no idea what that is, you'll make another post on that when you reach that bridge).

Lastly, stop qualifying her, it's so so unnecessary and at this point would be a detriment to your game. You can do it sparingly in person, just to build sexual tension, but qualifying online is a bit lame and can come off as arrogance (remember, she cant read behavioral cues online like you normally would in face-to-face interactions).

Now, ENGAGE!

dont laugh at your own jokes, non-jokes, and statements lol haha

Your IM game wasn't horrible but you are allowing her to ramble on without qualifying herself as to why she hit you up. Are you super good looking and fit? If so I would assume from what you posted here she just wanted some ass and not all the convo, if your average looking I have no idea why she was talking with you in the first place but she certainly had a reason.

Ya and no cya, bye, or laters when she ends the convo on you.

Girls often abruptly end online communication. Honestly, it can be so fricken irritating, you'd think there'd be some online etiquette butt hat seems to go out the window when dealing with girls online. Online you've got to work extra hard to keep them engaged as there are so many distractions sitting in front of a computer. She can be talking to others at the same time (other guys, girl-friends etc...) or browsing Forever21, or Hallmark for some virtual xmas cards for family; point is who cares, your task is to keep her engaged without looking as though you're vying for her attention. I'd use short, succinct responses, keep it funny (if u keep her laughing she'll come back for more like a cat to a saucer of milk outside the front door). Don't get all intense, and don't send walls of text for every 2 words she sends you. Again, keep things light and funny and quasi-flirtatious.

But look, when she ends non-chalant like that "Cya", be polite, and wish her a well/good evening. NEVER ask where she's going or try to make some maneuver to keep her online, it only makes you look starved for attention. Don't go typing a bunch of text either right after she says by as it infers the same thing; neediness.

Be gentlemanly and exit the convo respecting that she's going to go and you'll simply catch up with her some other time. The next time you two speak for whatever reason she may feel more receptive to you (perhaps Forever21.com is down for maintenance, who knows). So when ending just keep in mind you'll likely talk to her again whether u initiate or she (it'l llikely be you) AND your objective is to set the tone that you're a cool cat.

Think of each online interaction with her as part of an overall frame - call it the feel-good frame (e.g. making her laugh, breaking her balls a little bit but in a cute way, etc..) and carry this over to each interaction. This way she'll anchor positive feelings to you.

If you can hold out like this, you will reap the rewards later.

Thanks for your help detox. Will learn from what you said.
Good insight. I don't think I will have a problem with the emotional leakage because I feel like I already fucked up pretty nicely, so might as well reopen and just have fun with it!

If you look at the beginning of the convo she corrected me that shes not a cheerleader, but a dancer (lol). So..

I'm thinking I will change the joke. Why don't nj nets dancers wear black.... haha hopefully she'll take it playfully, but if not not the end of the world given where I'm at anyway.

I like dancing so if I meet up with her I would try to have it where we are both dancing. good opportunity for kino.

I like how you say 'I'm going to take you somewhere that'll blow your mind'. Even though I'm not sure what/where would do that. Like you said though that's a different post.

Papi, how do you number close online? I have read on other forums for online game a lot of people use, "Are you emotionally available for texting?". funny, but I think just telling her to give me her number is better while telling her I'm taking her somewhere.

If you can't tell I analyze a lot. In person, I am usually pretty good at going with the flow and am not awkward. Online though, I try to make the 'perfect' message at times. I don't know what was with that interview question, facepalm is right . I think this no fap month thing is making me aggressive towards trying to meet up with women! hah

Thanks for everything man, you have helped me much more than anybody at the other forums has. I think I like this community

Cheers

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B*tches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks.

Good insight. I don't think I will have a problem with the emotional leakage because I feel like I already fucked up pretty nicely, so might as well reopen and just have fun with it!

Sometimes that's when you put your best foot forward, when you don't give much of a f*ck. Amazing how much it frees you up and can really help you put forth some swagger.

If you look at the beginning of the convo she corrected me that shes not a cheerleader, but a dancer (lol). So..


I'm thinking I will change the joke. Why don't nj nets dancers wear black.... haha hopefully she'll take it playfully, but if not not the end of the world given where I'm at anyway.

If she's got any sort of a sense of humour and isn't creeped out by you, she should. If she takes it seriously she's a hard-up bitch anyway and not worth your time.

I like dancing so if I meet up with her I would try to have it where we are both dancing. good opportunity for kino.

Yes, that. Do something dance-related. Most women get horned out over a guy who can dance. I wish I could, and have been entertaining taking lessons just for that reason alone (like i'm the only one).

I like how you say 'I'm going to take you somewhere that'll blow your mind'. Even though I'm not sure what/where would do that. Like you said though that's a different post.

Always remember women love a man who'll give them adventure/be spontaenous etc.. You'll always keep them engaged and wondering what you'll do next. Standard PUA stuff.

Papi, how do you number close online? I have read on other forums for online game a lot of people use, "Are you emotionally available for texting?". funny, but I think just telling her to give me her number is better while telling her I'm taking her somewhere.

Whatever works for you just so long as it's not supplicating. I'll ask but not ask her for the number meaning I'll frame it in such a way that I'm expecting her number and she's just yet to give it to me - "I've got to run but I m going to call you tomorrow, I promise, what's your number" Just like that, for example.

If you can't tell I analyze a lot. In person, I am usually pretty good at going with the flow and am not awkward. Online though, I try to make the 'perfect' message at times. I don't know what was with that interview question, facepalm is right . I think this no fap month thing is making me aggressive towards trying to meet up with women! hah

Like you I too analyze a lot; paralysis by analysis. So long as you can recognize it that's good. Be careful over analysis can be your worst enemy and can trip you up. Find your target, have a plan of attack, and engage but also be adaptable because situations change.

Thanks for everything man, you have helped me much more than anybody at the other forums has. I think I like this community


NP, just sharing the knowledge and experience.

Bah! didn't bite (no response).

All good. If I could go back I know what I would have done differently. Kind of sucks missing opportunities, but at least I do so on a girl that lived a little far even if she was that hot haha. Makes me that much more motivated to get good at this.

Plus, if I didn't mess up, I might not have joined this forum, gotten the advice from you guys which I learned from, and might not have found that monkey mind koan XD. God that thing is driving me crazy.

Thanks again. Hopefully my posts will turn into field reports from here on out

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B*tches ain't nothin' but hoes and tricks.

Dont want to give you false hope but she might hit u up when u least expect it, so dont go burning any bridges.

No mistakes, just learning lessons. Move onward young padawan, the force is strong within you.

Papichulo is on the money. you never know when a girl might randomly msg you back