Ok so I am progressing with this blonde (I posted our conversation few days back in this thread) by texting back and forth and now I want to set up a date.
I am maintaining cocky/funny/direct frame.
.....
Me: blabla. Look I would like to see you again. I know you want to see me too
I wanted to go playing pool today. Wanna join me?
She (25 minutes): I am sorry I can't make it today. But I am free at saturday
And... I am super no talented for such games, so I would postpone pool until we get to know each other better
Now this SMS of hers seems positive because she is offering alternative time.
But.
Yes I am translating our convo into english but she really used this weird implication: "we should know each other until we play pool" And to be honest I dont see the connection. Maybe she was just not thinking while writing this.
How do I proceed? I don't want to look so that I am gonna twist my plans just for her to meet up for some stupid coffee (ok I like to drink coffee but I just feel it would be too much pressure for me to just sit and talk to her as she is so gorgeous and this will be my first date after long long time)
Now I am thinking I will write something like this:
1) Ok lets make compromise. I will make some time on saturday and you r gonna play the pool. I like the game and I wan't to see how you can handle the stick
. I won't laugh I promise
it will be just 2 of us anyway!
or
2) Ok lets make compromise. I will make some time on saturday and you r gonna play the pool. Don't worry I will not laugh to you and I am good teacher at things that are fun
My logic is that she should also take part of it. When I just say "ok let's grab cup of coffee" or "ok let's go see christmas fair" (which is activity I really don't want to) I will be basically setting the frame that shows I am willing to do anything just to meet up with her.
By saying 1) I am setting her up to prove herself to me "how can she handle". By saying 2) I am setting the frame that she doesn't have to worry that it will just be fun and I will take care of her.
The problem is that this plan of mine relies on the unspoken assumption that she just don't want to look silly playing the game with me. Is there any other possible reason she doesn't want to go with me and therefore it doesn't make sense to say 1 or 2?
The first is holding your idea, and going with the second message, 'cause that seems better put and in consideration of her unease and inexperience at an activity she is no good at.
The second, is to switch this activity to another which she feels more comfortable with, and meet up with her in her comfort zone in Saturday. That will work better cause she will appreciate the fact that you changed the plans to make her comfortable. While you'll get her in a much more relaxed and open state. Personally, this is what I'd go with.
Taking the lead isn't wrong, but you need to have enough comfort and trust with the girl so that she's absolutely open to following your lead anywhere.
CHAT
