so one of my recently formed social circles came with who we'll call dan and beth. since the beginning, it was clear that they had recently begun hooking up. as an outsider, i have no idea what their specific situation is, but i know that they are in some sort of pseudo-dating grey area. i'm pretty friendly with the both of them at this point, and am really trying not to stir up shit (my roommate is also very good friends with both of them).

so beth has made it clear from the very beginning that she is attracted to me. and to be completely honest, i am attracted to her physically and to her personality. now it's not like i'm head over heals in love with this girl, but i know if i continue to spend time with her while trying not to let anything happen.... somethings gunna happen. but i'll be real here, i'm a noob, so any time i get that "it's on" feeling with a girl, it both excites me and clouds my judgement severely. what makes it even more difficult to try and back away from this is that she is the one initiating contact and finding excuses to hang out with me.

so i guess really what i'm looking for is some advice on how to get out of this situation. and maybe some assurance that i'm actually doing the right thing by actively trying to stop myself from pursuing this?

should i be straight up with her and tell her we can't be friends because i'm attracted to her? i'm lost here....

keep hanging out with her, it seems like you don't really know her.

There is nothing wrong with just hanging out with her, people can't hate on that.

If you keep on hanging out with her, and there is still attraction, then go for a it.

Just give the guy a freebie month to get over things and find another girl.

I don't see anything wrong with seeing this girl.

freebie month?

and she invited me to a concert (with my roommate another guy) she had an extra ticket to tonight.... i'm no good at coming up with excuses so.... i'm going

also, in the last text i sent to her (before i made the original post) i definitely said "thanks friend" for the ticket offer. does that word carry negative connotations like it does to guys?

If you are attracted to someone physically and personality.. your golden.. so do NOT try and get out of this situation. It seems like you are prioritizing conflict-avoidance over your needs/wants. I agree with Fiddle that you should go for it. His "freebie" month is when you don't publicly make your relationship known with the girl. The benefits of this is that you avoid conflict with the guy she's dealing(was) with which is what you seem to be all for, as your being sensitive to his situation with the chick your going for which is basically a respect thing.

As far as the "friend" text you sent her, for a guy it would be a bad thing to receive, for a girl to receive it just depends on what perspective she reads from it. Some girls think guys try and wheel by getting into the "friend zone" so its not a deterrent as you seem to be hoping for lol. Hope this helps. Good post Fiddle.

it kinda makes sense when you lay it out like that. it would be a lot easier if i disliked the guy, but he's been nothing but nice to me. but yeah... i guess there is no harm in "hanging out" for a while.

i think another part of it is that i just don't wanna be "that guy" that tries to get with another guys chick. a lot of it is for me saving face in front of my friends too..... but from what i gather from your posts, there's a way to be discrete about it.....