I'm not familiar with the law in USA, but in my country (and this is a common mistake by diletants) if you sue someone for slander all you have to prove is that he caused you a prejudice, regardless if what you're accused of it's true or not.

To put it simple: even if Jane is a whore, you can get sued for yelling all over town she's a whore even if she is. Because it's none of your business.[/quote]

The point I was making is that somegirl should not be afraid of the man. Considering the tone of her opening post, it sounded like this guy has completely gotten into her head, and posting the guy's name would be a way to reassert emotional independence from him.

Sure, it is spiteful and immature. So is ditching a woman pregnant with your child.

Also, why are specific details of her life relevant? Why should she PM anything to anyone? How in the world is that going to help her?

Why are half the posters on this thread assuming she "made a mistake," got herself pregnant in order to manipulate him, and making excuses for this guy? He's an irredeemable asshole. End of story.

Auto-da-fe this relationship, move on, and don't look back. Keeping him in her life or analyzing it to death will only extend the pain with no benefit. The faster she can next the guy, the better.

[/quote]

Seriously? Those Hungarian laws must be pretty tough and don't seem particularly speech protective.

So, if you criticize a politician in a public rally, would that be enough for slander? (i.e., accusing the politician of losing public funds through incompetence). Or is there a higher threshold for prejudice required for public figures in Hungarian slander suits.

Bucharest is not in Hungary, american eh?

--edited--

Somegirl . . .

You are in the wrong forum. This is a PICK UP FORUM . . . this is where virgin 18 year olds try to figure out the next one liner that might liberate them from virgin-hood and childhood taunts from their buddies. The only reason that some of these guys pounced on your thread is because it's the only male/female interaction they've had this month. Just let this reality seep in a bit before you allow conflicting replies get you worked up.

The following is probably the most solid advice I've seen on this forum lately:
This is simple.

1. If you decide to keep the baby, go find yourself an attorney. You're studying law. You already know this.

or

2. If you decide to let the baby go, you STILL do not contact this guy ever again.
You need this time not only to 'heal' but to also to figure out why you fell in love with a total dick. There is absolutely no way in hell you can ever convince me that this was his first asshole act. People do not shift so quickly. The guy was a piece of shit all along but there's something in you that attracts you to it, covers up for it, and caters to it. If you do not figure this out somehow, you'll likely face similar situations in the future. You're 25 now . . . but try getting 'ditched' at 40 with 3 kids to feed. If you know anybody like that, go ahead and ask them what they were doing at 25.
So this is the piece that got all the kids worked up. "Whoa? I would never want anybody to do that to me?!?!" If so, just act like a fucking adult, don't fuck others over, and be a good person. In reality, putting this dude up in PUAF would do little to shame the guy, correct the guy, deter the guy, or get this guy to change his mind in any way. If I was somegirl, I'd probably go facebook in a non-combative, matter of fact way but I could see why some wouldn't take this route.
^Good insight. This was a fear based relationship and a fear based break up.

i call bullshit.

if you were a lawyer that comes from a family of lawyers,

you would know for a fact what i am talking about.

that badmouthing the father of your child on the internet would do you no favors in family court...

i've heard this first-hand from custody lawyers (mine) and the judge (in court).

you are full of it.

EVERYTHING is evidence in custody court when the judge's OPINION on who is better-suited to parent the child is ALL that matters.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

It usually takes a few posts for somebody to really shine their personality on an Internet forum. So you're a little bit of a 'white' liar, a little bit of a blowhard, a little pain in the ass, and a little hysterical. Really? You shared an in depth discussion with your family of legal counsel about the ramifications of an Internet smear campaign of the asshole who impregnated you? Come on . . . This doesn't really work too well for you either way. And by the way, ^this type of shit is the asshole's best friend. It's very easy to be an asshole . . . to an asshole.

Regardless of all your crazy shit, the guy is still a total dick. Stay focused and make sure you follow at least the first part of DCGuy's advice.

This post is clearly written by a male. Women do not write like this or think like this. No female is going to try to find a shoulder to cry on at a pick up artist forum on the web. Or spill her guts about something embarassing to a bunch of guys who she knows are looking to score. Thats all INSANE and NEVER HAPPENS.

Mack 2.0, first of all, I'm not a lawyer. And yes, I've discussed this with family members. Why? Because I need him to talk to me. This didn't JUST happen. Different states have different laws and where I live, he would have no grounds to sue me. Yes, I've discussed this with my family. I don't need to go into further detail. I've seen some other posts you've written and you're vial and nasty so I really don't see anything you write to be of any value anyway.

Kasabi, thanks for the advice.

Last I checked, I'm a female. And my OP was not to come here for a "shoulder to cry on." I'm trying to understand what this game is and how guys do this think. I don't need to sit here and try to prove that I'm a woman... it's so absurd that you would say this is just a troll post. For a man to write something like this would be seriously messed up.

LOL @ vile and nasty

i'm not specifically talking about only suing.

i'm talking about all of the ramifications of smearing someone in writing.

and again, you are avoiding a point i've raised twice now.

the fact that a family court judge in a custody case WOULD consider ALL of your conduct in order to form his OPINION on who gets the child based EXCLUSIVELY on who he feels would be in the child's best interest.

so, ask yourself...

angry bitch who spends her time smearing the father of her child, who she got knocked up by out of wedlock, and who blazed on her...

or

calm, in control, respectable woman who has more important things to worry about (like the needs of her child) over wasting time online smearing someone.

i'm not impressed by "i am a law student" or "i come from a family of lawyers".

i've known some ignorant "law students" in my day.

and i'm telling you directly from the mouth of a custody lawyer who was in my employ at the time "EVERYTHING SHE DOES OR SAYS OR WRITES CAN AND WILL BE SCRUTINIZED BY THE JUDGE".

that has nothing to do with a lawsuit for slander or libel...

oh, and it doesn't take much to get a PPO on someone either.

bash him online. he can walk in and say "she makes me feel threatened" and have a PPO on your ass in two jiggles of a jackrabbit's ass.

this is a losing argument for you.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Mack, you might be allowing your past experiences skew your analysis here. The OP showed a glimpse of some passive-aggressive language but seems largely positive towards the dick-wad. I think the "angry bitch" label is a bit of a stretch here. (And you've probably seen enough of my posts to know that I'm not in the habit of supporting too many crazies here . . . )

Oh and regarding the 'smear'. There is a difference between a loudmouth calling a guy an asshole in the court room and a girl posting a few real life events on her FB page.

I'm just going to clarify this one more time: I have no intention or desire to "smear" the name of anyone, especially not him. I still love him. Though his actions may be wrong, I am not the type who wants to do any harm to another person. It wouldn't make me feel better and would solve nothing.

I was just explaining that if someone were to do something like that, it actually would not be grounds for a lawsuit. Those words came from a family member who is an attorney and has been practicing for many years. A case like that can be dismissed unless damages were proven (losing income). I never wanted to post his name anywhere. It was suggested by a third party and that's why the conversation came up. Once again, this wasn't why I came here.

Bye, gentleman (some of you are gentleman anyway... well, very few of you). Is that passive aggressive enough for you?

So a guy knocks you up, refuses to take any responsibility, abandons you and your child and you still love him - Sure why not.. No, I'm not surprised, there are plenty out there like you that reward such coward behavior with love. So what stops a guy or others like him from being assholes and jerks to women? And then you ask "what this game is and how do guys think!"

This is no game, this is simply some asshole getting away in life by being an asshole and thinking its OKAY. And girls like you let him know that its okay and that you'd still love him.

Take legal help for the kid and some Professional counseling for yourself. Otherwise you would be putting yourself through lot of misery in the hands of guys like these for the rest of your life

Whoops. For some reason, I read it as Budapest rather than Bucharest. I was typing things quickly and it was late.

I hope Romania is nice this time of year.