| I have been studying a lot of seduction for awhile, but what I realized was that all the information could be found in sales books, persuasion and influence texts, and the such, with a few basic social skills that are easily meant with Leil Lowndes. Either way, I'm 247 pounds, I have forehead acne that I am finally getting rid of, but, only recently, and I have massive fat deposits (instead of just being a heavy person) in my chest and thighs--though they are significantly less than the past), this is to say, that I am the furthest away from Gambler, Adam Lyons, or most of the PUA's. And yet, these techniques I have found have turned what was once a challenging thing for me--cold approaching--into an easy and almost rejectionless activity.
Rule #1. Sell To People Only Interested in Buying (with this technique when I was selling insurance--going against the principle I was taught in training, I cut my work day down from 40 hours to 20 hours, and sold more products every week for 8 months, than any salesman and broke the record twice). How does this apply in seduction? How can you tell if they're interested, without even approaching them? How do you avoid the number game? There are three signals that a man can elicit from a woman without saying a word, each one a welcome for him to approach, but getting all three almost guarantees no rejection, and a fourth (of the 12 women I stopped in the day who displayed this, only one didn't give me their number, of the three in the club--didn't do much club game--that displayed it, I went home with two of them that night, and got the number of the third). The first signal is eye contact--if she hold your eye contact it is an IOI (but not a strong one). The second is if while you have her eye you smile, she smiles back--this is a stronger one, and it is a guarantee for a warm approach (meaning no worry about being rejected coldly just for saying hello, or for talking to her and asking her number--for people who worry about that). Three, the penultimate opener, a near guarantee of at least getting a number (1 in 3), the raising of the eyebrows, if you raise your eyebrows, and she responds in some way (curiosity--as in she's trying to place where she's seen you before), a bigger smile, or a raise of the eyebrows back, you have captured her attention. Now, the Ultimate Signal, if you get this and don't approach, you are missing the golden ticket. If her eyes dart from down to up your body--this means you've met several facial characteristics that in her subconscious she links to attractiveness, and her need to know more about your physical and formal status have been triggered (being well dressed helps in this, but is not a requirement). With this signal, you are actually doing her a disservice by not approaching her and talking to her.
2. Whether you've taken the eye contact as an IOI opener, or waited for the Penultimate IOI opener, or the ultimate IOI opener, what you say no longer matters much. Finding something of interest about her or the location you're at, it should be an open ended question that can't be answered in one word. Forget all the PUA junk, you can be complementative if it's sincere (never give false praise), you get far more with genuine interest in the person, if there's nothing for you to genuinely compliment on.
3. How to avoid rejection? Avoiding rejection doesn't mean that you get every girl's number. It means that when the number's not there for you to have, you bail out, and leave her be. Part of Rule #1, never sell to someone who isn't buying. First let me tell you biological reason behind this. In the PUA community much is made of evolutionary biology and how to utilize it to create attraction. But, there's more to it, psychosexual development plays a role as well. Every man and woman go through a sexual imprinting from birth to about 8 years old, though we're born with a psychosexual identity, the characteristics that will trigger our arousal and attractiveness have not yet been cemented, because of that, as we grow up we develop traits of eroticism to literally dozens of features and characteristics--above and beyond those of the evolutionary biological ones that we are programmed with. In the science of influence and persuasion, it's discovered that within four seconds, we naturally shuffle people into one of several boxes, yes/no/maybe. Now, it's not impossible to go from a no to a maybe to a yes, but why bother. Why not focus on the people who are naturally putting you into the yes and maybe box, instead of working on the women that are putting you into the no box.
A Note On Sexual Imprinting: In case you're thinking that I'm suggesting that you can't go after the hottest women, that's not it at all. Sexual Imprinting explains why a 45 year old biker, with a santa beard and matching stomach, beds a 19 year old girl who dropped out of Community College. It also explains why writers like Bukowski and Sartre slept with dozens of women, many very beautiful. From psychological needs, to visual stimulation, if a woman's attention can be brought to you, she needs only one characteristic to find you attractive and a possible mate.
With that explained. There are five IOI's that you must look for. The feet. Where the feet are the heart is, if she turns her feet toward you, you have captured her attention and meant a criteria. Hair touching--constant hair touching--much has been made of the hair touch, but a singular touch or an occasional move from the face may be just that, it is with the constant touching of the hair that it has become an unconscious act. Lip biting or lip licking this unconscious act (which connected with other things--especially the feet) are a clear sign of attraction and arousal. Deliberate touching, friendly swatting, and other acts are clear signs of attraction. The ultimate sign pupil dilation. One's pupils dilate when they want something, or attracted to something, or aroused by something (though this can be adjusted for low lighting, whenever the eyes have that twinkle in them from expanded pupils). If you don't get any IOI's within 1 to 2 minutes of a conversation, bail on it, and approach someone else.
4. A Status Introduction, Or The Power of Touch: French Psychologist Nicolas Guguen Discovered that when a man introduces himself to a woman, and follows that introduction with a touch to her arm, she is more likely to respond to him in a positive manner. On street approaches, where guys asked for women's numbers, to get coffee later, without touching it was 10%, with touching it was 20%, a full 100% increase, in club scenarios it went from 40 to 65%. Now, with the system outlied above, you are already increasing your average from 10% to 35 to 40% just by process of elimination. This is a great way to turn that 35 to 40% into 60 to 80%, which has been my experience. Each introduction, I touch the girl on the shoulder when I shake her hand, and hold the handshake for a few seconds while looking in her eye and talking about anything (not too long, but long enough that I'm fully getting her attention, this is a great way to know whether or not you're going to get the other IOI's, perfect time to look for the two most important, feet position, and pupil dilation.
5. Get Out, Unless You Want More: This is for clubs, Bars, Lounges, and other venues where one night stands are possible. Unlike Mystery Method or so many PUA's who have you move the person from one location to the next, or things like that. If you're just planning to get a number to get a date, you'll have less flakes if you have properly recognized the IOI's, you didn't use many or any pick-up routines, and thus displayed genuine interest (the problem with pick-up routines in causing flakes is that a woman gets taken off her feet and for the moment thinks that giving her number is a wonderful idea, because she likes how you make her feel at that moment, but, when she sobers up, and she's away from your presence, that feeling fades), with the approach outlined above, you have met subconscious criterias by your appearance, and by very basic communication, that she just wants to see how many other characteristics you may meet. of the 60 numbers I got from 150 approaches, and 76 phone numbers suggestions (get to that in a minute), only 5 didn't respond back to my texts. That's an 8% flake rate. The only time your communications should last longer than 5 minutes is for an insta date or a possible ONS, in this case, you increase bodily contact, while suggesting a move from one location to the next. A touching of the lower back as you guide her is a great way of establishing intimacy and dominance. You then evenutally guide her out of the bar/club/lounge, to talkin the fresh air--of course, this can be difficult in the winter, and better to find out if she has favorite movies, or a movie she never seen that you own, or a movie you've never seen that she owns. You want to either get back to her place or yours. Her place guarantees you get laid, but there's always the logistics of driving there.
6. Never ask, Always Suggest. There is a neediness in asking for a girls number or getting out of a bar and going to one's respective place. It's better and easier to just suggest it. "Let's..." "We should really..." "I think we could have a great time..." "There's a/something..." these basic transitionals will easily allow the person to agree.
How this all works. Coming out of a movie theater, saw a girl working the line, no one was in the line, caught her eye, she smiled, I raised a brow, her smile broadened, she looked me down and up, I approached her. We made small talk, I asked her if she liked movies, or if it was really just a job, got her opinion on some movies, and then said, we had a lot in common, and we should hang out, and there was a live band tonight at The Beatnik, "I'm going to this lounge tonight with a live band, you might like it." She offered her number, and I called her. We hung out and I escalated my touching of her, while we listened to music, talked some, and grabbed a bite to eat. I used a series of techniques to lock her interest, and develop intimacy, I talked about a movie, called Kicking and screaming (the Noah Baumbach film), and how sh could really like it, and that she should come back to my place and watch it. She did, we watched it, and I F-Closed her that night.
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