I met this girl three weeks ago at a club (friend of a friend) where we chatted for about 20 minutes. It was a lot of Q&A which I now realized could have been played better. I catch her before her group leaves to another club and I get her number. The next day, Saturday, I text her so I could ask if she would be going out again that night. She didn't, and I was done for the weekend anyways. Few days later I friend her on fb.

The following week is Thanksgiving, so I shoot her a quick happy Thanksgiving text and she responds adding a . I knew she wasn't in town so there was no chance of meeting up.

This past weekend goes by, no contact, no meet up.

Now we're in present day. I haven't texted her since Thanksgiving. What is the best approach to reconnecting with her?

I think the best way would be. Not texting her back. But try find out what she's up to. And maybe she'll post on her fb she's going out or something. You can go that place too. And you can meet up 'natural'.

Yeah, the Q&A is an attraction killer. Do you at least remember stuff that you learned about her during that interview? If so, you might have a pretext for asking her advice about something, or some callback humor, which could be the way to develop more interaction.

Is there any chance of bumping into her in the future? If so, then you might be able to build the sexual tension that was missing from the first encounter.

If not, then I'd have to file this one in the longshot category. With that Q&A, you haven't given yourself much to build on. And it hasn't helped that you've contacted her more-or-less out of the blue since you got her number. That shows that she's been on your mind, which translates to you not having a great many other options, which is not attractive.

The best advice I can offer is to put this one down as a valuable lesson in how you only get one chance to make a first impression. I'm guessing that you did Q&A as a way of extending the conversation, but you have to show a girl that you're confident enough to break rapport and that you're sexually self-aware. The moment you talked to her, she knew you wanted to fuck her brains out, and so it's silly for you to pretend otherwise. By being open about your sexual attraction, let her be the one who *pretends* to be shocked. Even if you're rejected, this is the good way to be rejected, the way real men are rejected.

On a side note: what makes Q&A such an attraction killer? Because it leaves no mystery behind, no room for clever banter? If you catch yourself engaged in Q&A, what's the best way to change the convo?

Back on topic.

She's a friend of a friend of a friend, so probably less than 10% chance off bumping into her again. But, I may have one more shot. Friday night i'll be with an equal ratio of 6-8 going clubbing, rolling up in a limo (at least that's the plan for now). I'm thinking I can text her something cocky-funny, something generic that could be made for other people too, asking/telling her to come out. Any downside to this? Thoughts?

Q&A is an attraction killer for a number of reasons:
* It feels like a job interview, which is un-sexy.
* It's awkward to have someone asking you questions, searching for something the two of you have in common.
* It seems like the questioner is just stalling you, trying to keep you from talking to other guys while he conjures up the courage to make a move.
* It's dishonest, ultimately, because she knows you don't particularly care where she's from; you just want to nail her. And yet she's obligated to pretend that she doesn't know this, which also feels shitty.

You are a man. Be not ashamed of your attractions.

Go ahead and drop her a text about Fri, but tell her to bring her friends to a certain club at a certain time, to hang with you and your friends. Honestly, it's a long shot, and there's only so much you can do in terms of DHV in a text invitation, but whatever. If she says yes or maybe, then offer to arrange for them to ride in the limo to the club. Do NOT mention the limo in the first text, or else it will sound cheesy as hell.

On the other hand, know yourself. If you think there's a chance you'll spend the whole night looking for her, and glancing at your phone, don't text her. Because by far the best move is to just forget this girl and find a new one when you're out Fri night. Good luck!

If things don't work out with this girl, it's no big deal - definitely more fish in the sea. But I'm always open to learning lessons and gaining experiences.

What's a good text to send?

When you get a number without bouncing around, building enough comfort, etc it's a dead end.

If they aren't receptive after my invitation to meet me and my friends out, I'll delete the number.

I think in general, even with a fb 'close', # close, etc unless you're building enough comfort and interest you won't get a day 2.

I don't think any relationship should be considered dead. Sure the attraction could be nonexistent, but isn't that the best time to switch to friendship mode? Her friends, have friends, who could be attractive. You can continue to build social circles this way and expand your options.

Maybe I don't want to get with her (I do, but is not likely gonna happen) so why don't we try to become friends. I can build a good rapport with her and next time I'm out, her group can meet with mine or vice versa.

Yeah, I'm glad you acknowledge it's a long shot, and anything you get out of this girl is bonus round.

Re: the text. I'd send it in the evening, maybe 8ish, which is usually a time when girls are asking each other what they should do. Try this:

Text No. 1: Hey HB, I'm going with a group of friends to (club) tonight. Bring some friends and meet us there.

At this point she can say, sorry I have plans (scratch her off the list permanently), tell you it doesn't work tonight but definitely hang out soon (depends on tone whether it's a blowout or sincere desire to reschedule), or she'll tell you that she'll try to stop by.

Text No. 2: Cool. We're taking a limo. If you and your friends want to ride with us, you can meet us (location and time).

If you can toss in some callback humor from what you learned about her during the Q&A, all the better. It would be nice for you to make some very subtle demonstration that you're going to be turning up the sexual tension this time.

If nothing else, you learned a valuable lesson: that you can't procrastinate sexual tension. You've gotta start immediately!

Heh, if she shows up, I'll lend you a little trick I like to use when the conversation's losing tension. Interrupt her and say, "Oh, did you remember you toothbrush?" She says, what? Why do I need my toothbrush? You say, "Because I don't want you to borrow mine -- that's gross!"

Obviously, you'll have to already have set the tone with some cocky / funny material, or this kind of trick is too over-the-top, but all the more reason for you to get you in that kind of frame of mind, where you're self-amusing and looking for sexual innuendo in everything she says.

Good luck!