Hi Female,
I understand how confusing must be to be told that men 'just want sex' and suddenly finding out that something doesn't really make sense, specially when you're totally open with your sexuallity, why do they get intimidated?
Well here's my 5 cents:
1. Men do want to have casual sex most of the time, and they aren't very selective for this, I mean they can have sex with almost every woman. But here's the catch, they need to feel they are gaming you into having sex, this arouses them, if they notice you're already giving it, the most openminded will take it for one night, the more alphas and selective ones will reject you.
Solution: be playful, teasing, generate some tension, he might get sex tonight, he might not, he's not sure.
2. Men keep having sex with you for a few more times if the sex was really good and they find you very attractive. They will stop seeing you if: they perceive any kind of attachment (even if its only to sex itself), any needines, possesiveness, fear or insecurity. This signals them that you might get attached to them and want a relationship (even if it's not your case, is the way they interpret these signals) so they stop seeing you before drama starts.
Solution: Date many men at the same time, and don't be always available to him.
3. Sooner or later he will get bored or you will get bored, both will fell empty, lonely and insatisfied,
Solution: Accept the reality of impermanence and meet new people.
4. It's clear that you don't want ONS but you want stable sex with the same man. That is the begining of a relationship, and if you want to keep him interested I recommend you to give a second read to Kasabi's posts, though he is a bit tough, he is totally right and he's talking from the perspective of an alpha male. The more you can cultivate other interests, enrich your life and the life of others, and become an attractive woman not only physically but intellectually, emotionally, etc. the more you will project your confidence, independence and self esteem, irressistible qualities, as DD says 'attraction isn't a choice' he'll be attracted against any logic.
Solution: move your focus from sex to cultivating yourself and sex will come and stay. Enrich your life learning a discipline, use all this sexual energy to engage in the world in meaningful ways. Don't worry about people not likeing you, try your best to like people and to give someting back to humanity.
5. Finally Lodewi said the most important thtuth in this thread, a superb revelation. Men secretly want even more than sex to 'FEEL APRECIATED'.
Solution: the easiest and more efective: PRAISE HIM. (though you have to be sincere) tell him all his good qualities, admire him, motivate him to keep working in his goal, his projects, tell him he's the BEST lover (only if you really like sex with him), see him as a smart, strong, hero, winner, leader, and he will adore you.
6. One more thing: stop calling yourself AFC, and creating a self image that screams low self esteem, and start acting as a strong, independent, confident, smart, and feminine alpha woman who has lots of cards to play, and men will see you as unique and will only want more and more of you.
Good luck girl!
CHAT
But seriously, no way, I don't speak a word of Dutch... I don't even live in Europe, so I doubt we've