Not sure why psychologists feel compelled to test things that seem common sense but hey, it's their job:

http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=buy ... -04711-001

Yes, difficulty of tasks affects heart rate. Heart rate affects cognition and performance.

* If a 5 year old physically threatens you, your heart rate barely budges. A scary looking dude twice your size grabs you by the collar and your heart rate spikes. If you're asked to finger "Mary had a Little Lamb" on a keyboard, your heart rate barely budges. If you're asked to play a duet with Yo-Yo Ma in front of a packed crowd, well . . . you'd get nervous.

** When your heart rate spikes, you lose cognitive and physical abilities. This is why sports that require fine motor skills, hand eye coordination, and complex decision making usually requires the athlete to keep his heart rate at a relatively low rate.

So here's the AA flowchart:

1. Perception of high difficulty & fear of poor results.
2. Heart rate spike.
3. Lowered cognitive and physical abilities.
4. 1,2, and 3 keeps lots of guys clammed up.
5. Poor actual performance if the guy 'goes for it'. (Which only reinforces #1.)
6. On the other hand, 'not going for it' also reinforces #1.
7. Perception of difficulty rises. . . heart rate spikes higher . . .

If you've been with this forum long enough, you'll know that #5 is the go-to cliche' advice = "Just do it!!!" . . . But many who've tried this method and have personally experienced the above flowchart might understand the shortcomings with this 'way in' to pick up.

This is why I usually recommend the 'preparation' method. Increase your knowledge and increase your familiarity. Know what to say and do, in order to lower perception of difficulty. This seems logical doesn't it? Well, here's the problem: Even experts feel anxiety! Their heart rates will not beat faster than somebody who is totally unfamiliar with environment that the experts are accustomed to but even the #1 salesman will experience quickened heart rates when he's shoved into a boardroom. The Champion boxer still feels nervous when he's shoved into the ring with the #1 contender.

I've realized recently that the most talented people of their fields either knowingly or unconsciously exercise a common strategy to deal with lowered cognitive and physical abilities that stem from higher heart rates. It goes something like: Simplify, Acclimate, Intensify.

Simplify:

All of you know that telling yourself to "Calm Down!" doesn't work. Your hear rate is high and you've got lowered cognitive and physical abilities. You can go home or you can try what every expert in all different fields often do. They SIMPLIFY. In physically demanding activities, they stay away from complex motions. They refrain from relying on small muscle groups. They don't chain complicated maneuvers together. In mentally challenging activities, experts often begin with simple exchanges of words or basic concepts that everybody already knows.

Think about the way they choreograph ballets or figure skating. They reserve the most complex moves for later on and begin with basic motions. Think about the first few minutes of a boxing match where the boxers most often 'feel each other out'. Think about a public speaker who begins by greeting and offering basic, common knowledge. You might think this is a task-centric strategy and it is . . . but it offers all these experts a smooth "way in" to their task with minimum risk for a goof-up.

Acclimate:

This happens naturally. The public speaker 'warms up the crowd' while himself becoming more comfortable. The boxer gets a good sense of his opponent's reach and distance control. In all these cases, the heart rate lowers. . . which means cognitive and physical abilities improve so that's when you . . .

Intensify:

This is when experts show off their chops. The figure skater jumps her combinations. The public speaker might raise challenging topics. The boxer throws his combinations for a knock out.

What does this mean for PU?

Simplify:

Stop making it so difficult and simplify your 'way in'. . . If you're still struggling with AA, stick with 3 words or less for openers. Stick with basic vocabulary. Stick with basic, simple movements. Essentially, your strategy should be to do the things you can easily do directly after sprinting on a treadmill.

Acclimate:

Conversations take time. Give the 'game' a chance. Give yourself a chance by weening yourself into more complex topics and strategies. Your heart rate will go down.

Intensify:

This when you "Just Do it!". . .

one fun method did was running hard .. almost like sprinting and yelling to get into state... then i get into the club and i approach every chick out there, my heartrate was high but it worked...in state whoo

i think the difference lies in the stimuli..

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Thanks for this Kasabi,

I agree a lot of guys out there perceive approaching sometimes as being even more scary than bungee jumping of a cliff.

Most advice tends to go along the line of 'Just freaking do it.'

It works to an extent, but the guy tends to still be in a state of 'running around like a headless chicken.'

You have to be in a 'calm, composed' state. The flow of action here helps to reinforce learned behaviour.

I remember a time when I was feeling down I would just clam up and do NOTHING. Now I hit the gym, this is learned behaviour. And the endorphins released when lifting weights helps to boost my mood.

I'm sure a similar patterns exists with pick-up, it is just learned behaviour... after all.

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*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
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lol im going to visualize your wolf picture when im doing my approaches

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Yes, but the point is that very few people are calm and composed when given certain tasks. Unless you're some meditating Yogi, you're not going to be able to consciously control your heart rate. So the idea is to accept the higher heart rate and the reduced cognitive abilities and rely on SIMPLICITY. Use simplicity as a "way in" and continue until your heart rate naturally slows to an optimal level.

Best thing a guy can do is just talk to women in environments they are good in or feel comfortable in first. It really helps. I'm all for the "get out of your comfort zone" message, but it helps tremendously to have some prior experience in an individually perceived safe environment. I always believe in putting one foot in front of the other.

This was exactly my experience when I started PU with MM...my memory ould go blank and I'd just end up going caveman(which went well).

As time goes on, however, I noticed the contrary to be the case. I would get nervous a bit, but in a positive way, like getting excited, my mind would be more focused and work better and dig some PU information from deep within my brain.

In the end, that anxious excitement feeling, is a good motivator for pu, and helps you to keep track of your "techniques" and is good if you wanna learn a technique. Keeping calm is better for actually getting the girl.

Would taking a relaxant drug help?

I probably wrote too much. The only metric that is of concern in this thread is HEART RATE. . . more specifically, fear and hormonal induced heart rate.

And yes, if changing the environment helps reduce your heart rate, go for it. However, the suggestion of this thread is to try a specific strategy if your heart rate is high and you cannot control it. The strategy is to do the things that can easily be done while experiencing a higher heart rate which causes lowered cognitive response.

You don't need to think too much to open a girl by pointing at her and giving her a thumbs up. This would be a simplified 'way in'. 3 words or less . . .

This would be an example of 'preparation' and experience leading to lowered perception of difficulty which would lower your heart rate. Again . . . this is a good method and I endorse it.

i have used herbal remedies... they do make you more calm and relaxed, but they do not solve emotional issues... it's just a nervine...passion flowers , hops , nerve plant, colleus species, aloysia, dature - there are a sick amount of plants which do have significant effect on biology.

multiple sage species especially russian sage is very efficient ..i suffer from a mild case of imsomnia and this stuff easily make me fall asleep in like 30 minutes...it also lowers my heartrate and it makes it much easier to control my breath during meditations... this plant is available in garden centres or you can buy seeds online.

other stuff then herbals... like synthetic drugs or concious altering drugs like LSA.. i wouldn't take those because they alter perception and they do alter you social reality if you repeat it often..

WHAT DOES WORK is taking nutmeg... i am not talking about high dosage which make you hallucinate ( don't do it because you feel like shit for 7 days and you will be incapable to function if you take a high dosage ) Nutmeg comined with tumeric are the only natural relaxant that did work in social settings - but again.. take a light dose - and do not combine nutmeg with alcohol !

you always will feel emotions.. alot of ''drugs '' just delay impulse time or alter the part of your brain that gives you ''social pain ''.

the best thing is not to use anything.. when i feel good i do not use anything.. i do not smoke and i do not drink alcohol...when im very stressed i just take herbal stuff and it always helped me to some degree.. Read something about nicotine and the effects it has on psychotic patients..'wikipedia also recently updated their nicotine page.. interesting to read about it.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

This is a loaded question. . . I'd say yes and no. Many drugs in this class do reduce heart rate. However, the side effects are brain fog, lethargy, drowsiness, etc . .

So you alleviate that panicky feeling that comes from higher heart rates but you also lose the lucidness required to interact with others. The "panicky feeling" is not the enemy . . . when talking about pick up, the only negative is NOT chatting with a girl. I'd avoid drugs and really give this method a shot.

If you think about it . . . everybody does this already with just about everything in life. Music is written so that the singer doesn't have to belt out the high notes of difficult transitions right from the beginning. Go to youtube and watch ANY stand up comedian. Watch any sport . . . Watch politicians give a speech. . .

Oh, nah my fault for not understanding. For the adventurous guys out there, lower your heart rates using this formula. It's one way of doing it.

This is why i couldnt open for ages, always trying to mesmorise long opinion openers and why when i could open i couldn't go for the hook. All those long lines. . .


Good advice Kasabi