Hey all,

So I've known this girl for about 3 years (we went to grad school together). She's pretty much the smartest person I know, she's funny, talkative and a solid HB9. I even know from our mutual guy friend that she thinks I'm attractive. We were never really friends, so I'm not in danger of the friendzone. We hung out about 2 weeks ago (went to dinner, ended up splitting the bill - probably wasn't a good idea but w/e). I didn't want to seem too forward since she has a boyfriend (even though she admits they aren't getting along) After dinner she was very responsive to texts, but recently she kinda dropped off the map. Here's how it went:



Me: Doing anything Monday Night?
Her: Ya hmm next week's kinda busy cuz of homework and I'm not gonna be in (school) I'll let you know if I'm free?
Me: Ur not gonna have like any fun for the next 2 weeks haha! u sure u wanna miss out on ur last chance for fun until break?
Her: Haha we'll see im sure i'll find some time
(2 days later)
Her: R u gonna b in LA thursday?
Me: Nah I'm gonna be (home). u?
(1 day later)
Her: Not in LA but I'm free that night
(1 day later)
Me: Oh cool! u should look around for (interesting restaurant), it's really good! I could take u there next monday if ur not too busy
Her: haha next week will be crazy for me. Ok i'll try it
(1 day later)
Me: haha I knew u were gonna be busy until finals were over. How was (restaurant)?
(5 days have passed since my text)
------

Any specific places where I might have screwed up? Or do you think she's just really busy? Should I double-text back or just keep waiting?

Thanks a lot!

-Flyingsmurf

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What Fuze said.

When girls say: "I'll let you know if I'm free?"
It's girl-talk for: "Please, leave me alone, I'm busy all week, because I have more important things to do... I'd rather watch TV alone than spend time with you"

It's the most classic excuse to let you down easy without hurting your feelings.... aren't girls awesome?

You can tell if a girl is interested if she either:
1. Confirms the date plans: "Yeah sure! Let's do it!"
2. Says she doesn't have time, BUT suggest a different day: "Sorry, im crazy busy that day, but I'm free Thursday night."
3. She randomly texts YOU to hang-out = She really likes you, A LOT.

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An approach a day keeps the guru away.

completely agree with you guys. what is also important is the way that you ask a girl out. the way flyingsmurf did it was by making it the girl's choice whether to go out or not. the best way is by offering a date instead of asking. major difference between the two. never ask "Do you want to go out tonight?" or "will you go out with me?" or "so what time are you free tomorrow?". They are all questions which AFCs do. they make a guy sound needy, desperate, dependent on doing something with her.

I can relate to this stuff, happened to me loads of time.
Bad text game ruined it for me alot.
This is usefull info for me, if I get it right the difference is that if you do it right.

You don't press her to choose if she is or isn't interested in you,
just the choice of the date?
You are now not asking if she wants you but if she would just like to hang out?
Which she is alot more comfortable with.

I fell ur pain on this one. Texting can be so misleading sometimes

She's still with her boyfriend, this pretty much means they are most likely still having sex, angry sex if they are having arguments.

I imagine if they aren't getting along then he isn't paying enough attention to what she is doing in her life. What I'm saying is is that you have given her attention, bad attention as well "come see me im fun i promise" so now she doesn't really need that fro the boyfriend. If anything you are keeping her in that relationship so he can fuck her and she gets attention off of you.

Also for future purposes:

If you get a "no" or some long winded explanation from a girl then always wait about an hour or two then reply with something that makes you sound like you've found something to do...better yet FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.

e.g.

Her: Oh sorry I can't make it!
You: No worries, your position has been filled!

For this bullshit

Her: Ah im very busy recently il let you know when im free.

Don't bother replying.

Also for text game improvement, stop asking so many questions man. Questions are dull, predictable and boring. Girls get asked questions all the time, be random and interesting.

Also last text game analysis just for you to think over and DEFINITELY CHANGE!

Me: haha I knew u were gonna be busy until finals were over. How was (restaurant)?

1: Don't include things like "haha" in texts, its pointless. Leave that shit to the girls.
2: "I knew you were gonna be busy" Don't say shit like this, it shows her you have nothing else to bother you apart from when she's free. Also after you live with girls (housemates/unimates) You will understand that girls are NEVER as busy as they make themselves out to be, they like to chill with their girlmates and bitch.
3: "How was restaurant" Save shit like this for when you see her sometimes don't even bother. Think about this, What sort of reply would you get from that apart from "it was good" whoopdefuckingdoo.

Thats my two cents anyway brah.

Yep as soon as a girl says. "I'll let you know if Im free" drop the convo.. This is def girl talk for Im not that interested. The only time this girl is going to see you is if she absolutely has nothing else on and is bored out of her brain.

Plus never forget the bf thing. You need way more attraction to get this girl interested in you if she has a bf

You don't need 'more attraction', you need to be in her life when it's not going so well with the boyfriend, or when they have a fight or whatever. That's when she's most likely to cheat on him. If she's happy with her bf, you can have amazing 'attraction game', and still don't close. This is the basic rule of 'gaming' a girl with a boyfriend; if she's happy, she won't cheat.

I would however also drop the convo when a girl says "I'll let you know if Im free", and then try to contact her a week (or couple of weeks) later or something, see if anything has changed in her life (e.g. big fight with boyfriend, or maybe forgot about you a little and now is kind of interested in what you have to say). I guess you could call this a freeze-out. I'm basically just matching her interest level (which I do a lot with text-game), in this case: not interested at all.

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An approach a day keeps the guru away.

Coldman that is very true if your only goal is to fclose her. Because as soon as she cheats and is over the fight she will feel massive guilt and dump you to go straight back to her bf unless there is built attraction also and she sees you as the better alternative.. That is being in the right place at the right time re the fclose and takes a bit of skill to make sure tou dont get friendzoned befor that but are around enough that you are the option when she has that fight.. but I guess I read the post as he is wanting her more as a gf that just a fclose?? If that's the case he needs to built more attraction like I said..

Have you ever fclosed a girl with a boyfriend? Not all of them feel 'guilty' afterwards. Also avoiding guilt doesn't always have to be by removing the object that's responsible for the guilt (you), it could also be done by using certain defense mechanisms. One of them is rationalization: "Oh, well, I cheated on my boyfriend, but... I really like this other guy (you) and it might work out in the future, it's not just a one night stand!"
Or denial: "I didn't really cheat, because I had an argument with my boyfriend, so officially we weren't together.", hence the discomfort of 'guilt' is resolved.
Or any other of the various defense mechanisms people use to avoid anxiety/discomfort (whether consciously or unconsciously).

What I'm saying here is, your statement is invalid "she will feel massive guilt and dump you to go straight back to her bf unless there is built attraction"

I agree that attraction is essential, but the original poster said: "I even know from our mutual guy friend that she thinks I'm attractive."

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An approach a day keeps the guru away.

I have yes and yes you are right those rationals happen too... Often depends on how long and serious her relationship is with her bf... All good points