Damn, I have been working on PUA since months, I'm better yes, I talk freely to women when they are friends of my mates, new girls can only talk when we are both in some sort of project, it's when I get something to talk about, got a girlfriend few weeks ago, worked for 2 weeks, no sex, stupidly she said she didn't love me anymore and left me, friendzoned after that, we never talked since than. Now I'm desesperately looking for another girl and it's hard! >:

It seems I can't leave AFC stage! What's the problem? I cant jump into a girl and start talking with her unless there is something connecting us like a project, a place we both working on, etc...

If I go to a bar, I stick to my friends and people I know around and I can talk to girls when my friends bring some! When I see a girl that attracts me, I wanna go there and talk to her but I can't!

For example, there is this coffe shop I used to go than I stoped going, few days ago I gonne there and there was this girl very cute working there and I tried to put conversation and I failed, just asked for a coffe, tried to make eye contact and sorta things, but I just couldn't start a convo!

I'm frustated...

Takes time and practice to really get better at cold approaches. Hang in there! Start small just going up and saying Hi, cheersing their drink, or asking the time. Then move on from still doing that to making casual conversation about the weather or sports. Then move on to using PUA openers. One small step at a time.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey, been there, still fall back into that area, if I've got a cold which I have right now, or am tired, my confidence goes down because my mind isn't focused. The best I can say is not to beat yourself up over it, forgive yourself, find a center, and expand what you can talk about. I always look for something that's really interesting in a woman, something that's completely non-threatening, and then move on from there. "I really like your piercing, did that hurt?" I asked a girl who had a stud in her upper lip. "That's a cool shirt. I always like people with style."

Just expand what can make you interested, and talk from there. You'll soon learn how to talk to a woman just by looking at something about her that would be interesting to talk about, and if things aren't going well or you run out of things to say, you're just a friendly talker, who liked something about that person.

John PT, unfortunately being a PUA doesn't happen overnight, and learning the words and techniques to approach someone (not just a women) takes time and practise. Most people on this forum come here because they lack confidence, have a low self-esteem and find it frustrating that they can't do what they have learnt in books and on forums.

The answer to your questions, in my opinion, is to work hard and practise on normal, everyday people, and not just on women you desire. Build confidence by talking to random strangers, and work on your 'small talk'. Don't rely on your friends friends of friends friends, you need to go out and actually talk to people that are not in your comfort zone. Its a long, hard process, but you will gain confidence and practise DOES make perfect. Just remember that there are no boundaries except those that are in your own mind. Overcome these and the world is literally your oyster.

Try this: Go into the coffee shop and give one of the waitresses or customers a compliment, maybe on her ring, or necklace or whatever she is wearing, and then simply ask her where she brought it from and say that you would like to buy your sister something similar for a Christmas present. From this you can have so many different avenues to take i.e. where is the shop? directions? what other colours are there? maybe ask her to recommend a current fashion trend?. Relax and enjoy the conversation. Be nice, smile and you will feel so much better for it. its these little encounters, what i have found anyway, that help build up your inner confidence with people in general.

Also, you have NOTHING to lose by giving someone a compliment. Remember, this suggestion is not about actually about picking a girl up, its just to help you build your confidence. Once you have mastered this, you will become a natural.

YOU are the prize, YOU are the most interesting person in the room. Once you believe this, life is so much better.

Peace out.

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It not how good you're, its how good you want to be!

Haha, thank you Nomnomnom. Its what I have personally done and it has worked fine. interacting with people in general will help build confidence. You don't go to the gym and start lifting 200KGs, you build up to it, its the same with self improvement and picking up women. As John PT is having trouble with small talk and approaching, I have simply advised the poor chap to start by interacting with females that he is not particularly interested in picking up, just to help build the confidence levels.

Peace out.

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It not how good you're, its how good you want to be!

I'm sorry, am in the wrong forum? I thought this was supposed to be a place where you give share and advise?

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It not how good you're, its how good you want to be!

Mate, your a sicko! you need help.

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It not how good you're, its how good you want to be!

[quote="BBCofTRUTH"]The problem is you're focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face..


WHAT are you talking about? how is advising someone to work on their confidence levels by approaching strangers incorrect? Go and consult 'The Rules of The Game'Style, you know, written by the No 1 pick up artist in the world.

Idiot.

Peace out.

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It not how good you're, its how good you want to be!

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