I figured maybe a progress report might help me do better in my quest to be a decent PUA. Since studying PUA I've done things with my body language and style that have help get me MANY more opportunities with women than before.

The Good:

When out at clubs/bars many more women have taken notice of me overall than any other point in my life. I've gotten to dance and makeout with a few women.

The Bad:

I still haven't initiated a single approach. I still haven't been able to do the newbie mission. On nights when women don't initiate with me I get absolutely nothing. I'm too afraid to approach women even when they are sending me ridiculously obvious IOIs.

Goal 1: I have to properly complete the newbie mission this week. Regardless of if I do or not I will report back here.

Goal 2: I have to open a woman in a bar next time I go out.

Goal 3: SNL (In other words close the deal)

Minor progress today but I decided that I am going to dress nice every day, not just mainly during the nights when I go out. Definitely noticed some women noticing. Now I just need to open when I get extended eye contact . I am going to say 'hi' to one next obvious IOI and see how the response goes.

Progress has been REALLY slow. I went out last night and the bitch shields were too much for me to handle. Women were literally afraid to make eye contact in the club I was in, some were even running by guys as they were afraid to get hit on or something.

A confession: I have not been laid in 2011. I had one clear opportunity (the girl asked me to take her home but I couldn't because my apt was complete mess). Many other opportunities where I had a girl on the dancefloor or elsewhere and she was horny and ready to go but I had trouble closing the deal. So, lots of grinds, a few makeouts but no lays so far. Could be the first year in a long time if I can't get it done in the next three weeks!

Also, I have not approached a single woman yet since reading about PUA. Everything I've gotten it's because I've gotten approached. Approaching still scares the crap out of me, as does kino on dates.

Well a total failure tonight. I went out alone. As soon as I walked into the bar a group of cute girls started talking to me. As soon as the conversation that they were dictating ended I didn't try to continue with them even though it would've been really easy to.

I have to learn to not think that they don't want to talk to me once it's over. They were actually probably prime for gaming at that point.

I like what you are doing, keeping a Journal of what you are doing and progress report on it, I might do one for me and set goals.

Side note:

It's exciting at first when you improve your appearance and body language and women start taking notice of you. At first I was content just to have some woman's attention on any given night, or to have a woman come up to me to dance.

After a while it is actually frustrating as shit when women throw themselves at you and you botch it up, or don't take enough action (or are still second guessing yourself while they are leaning up against your body and rubbing their ass against your hard on). Sure it's an ego boost but if you can't close the deal it sucks after a while. You just start seeing missed opportunity after missed opportunity.

So keep working on that game!!! And close the deal!!! (Yes I am yelling that at myself and anyone else in my position)

Anyhow, next step for me:

Get over fear of offending someone if I touch them! This is a MASSIVE hurdle for me. I don't know how I am going to do it, but I will practice this week. Kino, kino, kino.

Thanks man - I'm really hoping it motivates me to work out some stupid hangups. At the least so I can post something positive or impressive here .

Random thoughts:

I'm starting to incorporate meditation into my lifestyle. After a week I'm finding it much easier to get into a good state when out with my friends. Will this help in pickup? Time will tell.

Approaching/kinoing/letting a woman in on my true intentions is still a terrifyng prospect to me but I am starting to understand the root causes of my problem. I have the feeling things are on the verge of a major shift.

I'm realizing that pickup could work pretty well on weekdays. A lot of women seem to go out by themselves to the bars around me for a drink or some food. I'm sure many of the women out by themselves are actually looking to meet people.

Pretty poor weekend. I went out to a club with some friends on Friday and basically just stood around drinking. No good IOIs to work off of.

My major block in PUA is a crippling fear of making a first move on a woman (or a first move in general is probably more like it). I need very obvious permission from a woman to proceed or I simply can't do it (sometimes even the move obvious permission isn't enough).

This bites me in the ass all every step of the way:

In bars, at work or any other place where I could be opening woman I am attracted to. I'm fearful of even saying 'hi'

In clubs when I could be trying to dance with women. Unless they start with me or give me a TON of IOIs I will never approach a women in that environment.

On a date (almost always made online) I can't initiate physical touch and the woman will almost never do this. I almost always say hello and goodbye without any physical contact. No hug, handshake or anything. Not surprisingly I almost always end up in the friend zone, and they almost never want to contact me for a second date.

Initiating sex is extremely tough too. When I find sex it's usually with sexually aggressive women who aren't afraid to take charge.

This goes far beyond simple shyness. The good news is I think all this behavior is related- I just need to figure it out.

Went on a date with someone I met online- no problem kinoing. Wound up with a k-close. Probabaly an f-close coming up on this one. The deck was sort of stacked since we were having lots of sexual conversation up until the point we met, but at least I made some first moves.

Went out last night- what a useless frustrating night! The only action I got was two girls recruiting me to dance with them to cockblock a dude who had horrible BO. That BO bugger was persistant though. I had to box him out like five times before he left!

Probably had a shot to get in with the girls after but I didn't want to seem like I was taking advantage of the situation (sigh I know...)

Anyhow time to regroup and really remember why I am doing this.