hello everybody,
In my college thread,
3-vt119121.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=30 i have detailed what i believe are the 5 most overall important aspects of game. Aspects that will make you a more well-rounded person besides from specifically being good at night or day game.
Here they are:
- inner game
inner-game-vt120557.html?highlight=
- mid game / conversational skills
mid-game-and-conversational-skills-vt12 ... highlight=
- body language / clothing
body-language-in-pua-vt121099.html?highlight=
- social proof / reputation
- escalating / being sexual
This is the fourth installment.
I hope you enjoy reading them.
==========================================================================================================
SOCIAL STANDING AND REPUTATION
What we are talking about here is how can we change our social standing and reputation? Its called social mobility
Defined by Wikipedia:
Social mobility refers to the movement of people in a population from one social class or economic level to another. It typically refers to vertical mobility -- movement of individuals or groups up (or down) from one socio-economic level to another, often by changing jobs or marrying; but can also refer to horizontal mobility -- movement from one position to another within the same social level.
I am not talking about moving up the ladder in terms of money but of social groups. So we are moving horizontally within the same environment. This is difficult to do if you are stuck in one location.
The Easy Tactic That Can Change Your Social Standing - Moving location (going to college, going to a new school, going to a new city, etc) because it provides a fresh opportunity to present yourself as an awesome person to new people who do not have any idea about your past. In this way, your old reputation is erased and unknown with this new group.
This IS the Easiest way to change social standing.
However, inorder to do this, your inner game, conversational skills and body language needs to be good. No one is going to value you unless you value yourself and DEMONSTRATE HIGHER VALUE through good conversation skills and alpha body language.
Even if you are not changing locations, good innner game, conversation skills and body language are very important if you want to change your social standing within your current social situation. ONe of the most important parts of this is your reputation.
=============================================================================================================
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR SOCIAL STANDING AND REPUTATION
Right now, think.
Think real hard.
Ok, ready?
What is your reputation? What social group do you fall into?
- nerd
- bad boy
- player
- "the virgin"
- druggie
- jock
the list goes on and on. You need to be honest with yourself. who do you socialize with?
The people you surround yourself has been proven to affect your personal behavior. Their behaviors rub off on you. If they are bums, you slowly become a bum too. If they do drugs, you may eventually do drugs too. Their reputation rubs off on you too. The individual reputations, when combined, form your group's reputation. This is true.
In that group, i want you to think about where you fit in. How many people are there and who is the alpha male of your group? Are you a follower, leader or comrade (same level)? Are you that nice guy, the asshole, the socially awkward man or ............
The first step to salvation is realizing what you are and what your problems are.
Define what you are now. Write it on paper.
For example: nerdy pot head who was friendly with alot of people at school but introverted and afraid of stepping out his comfort zone to talk to the popular group of people. Semi-leader of the potheads who was friends with some nerds and some jocks. had two cute girlfriends during high school but thats it. Not a ladies man at all.
This was me in high school. I have changed since that time and i am glad, i did not enjoy my reputation as the nerdy pothead who didnt get pussy.
If you cant figure out your own reputation yourself, ask a friend or even your teacher.. yup they gossip too. Tell them to be honest and that you dont care what they say.
WHOEVER YOU ARE, IS THIS SOMEONE YOU WANT TO BE?
If not, ok. You have time and alot of effort to put in to change. First i recommend becoming more confident in yourself (inner game), improve your conversational skills and improve your body language.
Now, to improve your reputation and social standing
THE
EASIEST FIRST STEP is you need A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. act friendly and happy no matter how you feel, where you are or what the weather is outside. People gravitate to good feelings, not negative ones. And with good conversation skills, you can share this positive vibe with others and they will then think of you from then after in that same positive view.
SECOND STEP - start socializing with anyone everywhere. Literally, talk to everyone.
BECOME THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. That aspect of your reputation is GOOD because as you start talking to all the guys, they become used to talking with you. When you start talking to
all the girls, even the ugly ones, everyone will start to realize that you are just a very friendly, happy person.
Even if you are a nerdy pothead, being a really happy and friendly person will make people like you and willing to talk to you in the future
even if they dont hang out with you on the weekends.
THIRD STEP - If there are vicious and bad rumors about you, there are two tactics you can do to confront them.
1) confront the instigators and tell them off in a confident tone with good eye contact. Nip the rumor at the source. Be firm yet non confrontational. The gossiper is probably jealous, and if you respond with anger or emotion, it will delight him or her no end.
2) COMPLETELY IGNORE IT and act like it never happened. If you care about it, other people will too. If you seem carefree and very friendly to everyone, no one has a reason to be confrontational with you.
FOURTH STEP - If you've done something wrong, either to a family member or a friend or even an enemy, you need to
apologize. not joking about this one. show them that you are a man and can be responsible for your actions. Show them that you are the better man if its a fight, basically make peace between the warring groups. This will bring you respect and stop all the malicious behavior from the bullies. IF they continue to bully, ignore them and be completely happy and carefree. They are bothering you to elicit ANY reaction they can get from you. DONT GIVE INTO THEM. You are better then them and more mature. ACT LIKE A MAN.
FIFTH STEP - recognize and adapt to social norms in your situation. You at college? go out to parties and drink.. You in New York City? go out to bars, clubs and concerts.
Other social norms are
-avoid burping or farting in public
-smile when u r being introduced to someone u dont know
-u say please when u ask for something and say thank you when you receive it
-chewing food with your mouth closed
-u offer an elder man/woman to be first at anything like standing in line, having ur seat...etc
-when u have guests at home u must offer them drinks or food
-treat managers, professors or anyone above u with respect
-wearing specific clothes for an occasion
-men pay for dinner most of the time
Make sure you act normal and with proper social etiquette. If you change locations and people act differently,
adapt.
SIXTH STEP - Dress for the occasion. NEVER under dress and it IS ok to over dress but try not to over due it. Look good at all times and people will notice that you look good and respect yourself. Girls will recognize that you are putting effort into yourself so you definitely value yourself very highly.
SEVENTH STEP - know the lingo and the language that the people use that you are trying to socialize with. It makes you normal and allows the free flow of conversations and ideas. Self explanatory i hope
EIGHTH STEP - The strategy for changing groups is complicated and unique for each individual. Here are 3 general strategies that you can do to change your social group..
1) Be the leader and invite people to your events at your house or wherever. Be the guy to create the fun activities, then people will gravitate towards you because they associate you with the great time they had at your party or event. They will also socialize with you to get further invites to your awesome events. This way you become the alpha male of your own group.
2) Look at your group. Who do you like and who do you not like? Do not hang out with the people you do not like. Its as simple as that unless the person you dont like is already the alpha male of the group. then refer to #3
3) To change your group completely, you need to have a "hook person" or the person that you can hook onto in that new group that can introduce you to the others. This can be a childhood friend, a person at work or even your girlfriend can introduce you to her group of friends (not recommended).
Before you just ask them to invite you, you need to build rapport just like you would with a female you are trying to fclose, but hopefully not in a sexual way lol. This dude can be a friend, just invite him to hang out, go to a baseball game, go do something.. if you hang out with them enough, and hint that you would like to get invited to his friend's party or some event sometime in the near future, if you maintained your cool inner game, conversation skills and body language he will probably think that you are now a really cool guy and will invite you to that event where you BETTER be prepared to DHV your ass off with funny stories and great body language.
also dont creep on girls, only socialize with the girls in the first meeting unless one of them is giving alot of IOIs. And then, just joke around with the guys first telling them that you think that this girl over there likes me. They will give you the thumbs up or not and you are free to leave the bro circle to start sarging.
also dont hit on girls who have boyfriends, they might be the dudes that you are trying to become friends with...
This strategy will make you a cool guy in that new group that is on equal footing with the new group. Dont try to be overly alpha or you will be viewed as an asshole. Be normal, friendly and fun. This strategy will take time to develop and dont be pushy, take what is given and make sure you maintain that really good friendship with that initial hook person, dont be that asshole and replace him.
got other strategies to add on this list?
Dont be an ass to your old group once you do switch, stay friendly but just slowly stop hanging out with them. dont do it all at once though.
This is a funny ass movie about social standing and reputation..
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0241760/
=============================================================================================================
But in the end, in a world that wants you to conform with everyone else, BE YOURSELF
J Slay
CHAT
.