basicly you judge men ion their appreance blabla..

just read what mack said..

like i said .. you are a judgemental person.

you don't fuck men .. you are asking them to cutoff their dick and hand it to you.. no man is going to do that.. men want to be appreciated as well .. every fucking living organism wants to be appreciated. people move towards value...if you propose sex before attraction , well don't need to explain that really...

so im sitting here .. with some herbs which i got out of my garden drinking it, almost spewing my precious healthy tea over my shitty laptop..

men are physically attracted by instinct
woman are attracted instinctive by personality and charisma ... AKA social dynamics.

just come here .. drink some healthy herbal tea with me , join me on a quest of cruising clubs and bars .. i will FIND ALOT of hot guys who do want to fuck you... i just see a woman who has a flaw ( not bad or good ) and isn't able to completely identify it - so you make excuses and blame external shit... make an effort and keep doing it.

how about this .. how about you walk up to a guy... you shit test him and you give him a compliment.. just do this 3 or 4 times... just try some new ways and see how it goes.

_________________
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Okay, I will try.... Thanks!
It's not that I find them ugly... In fact I think most people are NOT ugly. It's more that I don't find them sexually attractive.

I know that a large part (but definitely not all) of my sexual attraction is based on looks, however, if I'm more concerned with sex than a relationship, then it's kinda fair enough, and I probably don't have that much else to go on.

Also, I can't really help what turns me on and what doesn't. There are so many guys I WISH I were attracted to, but I'm just not, and if I were to pretend I was I wouldn't be doing anyone any favours... It'd just be demoralising for me and for the guy.

I totally see the things that aren't just looks. And I definitely know exactly what you mean with being turned off when they open their mouths. (And vice versa: being not initially attracted, but then when they open their mouths you somehow become attracted!)

Also, I pretty much agree with the last thing you wrote, especially if I were going to have a relationship with the person.

I don't think I've mentioned, but I actually have really weird taste... A lot of the guys I am attracted to, my friends and other people have been like, ewww, he's ugly, what the fuck?!

sex is a manifestation of attraction.

you need to overhaul your entire view on this.

sex does not exist in some bubble/vacuum/universe of its own.

no, not even in the mind of men who claim to "only be about the sex".

sex is the culmination of attraction and chemistry built up...

either through "Love"

or

through "Gaming"

again, i reiterate, if you are looking for JUST SEX WITH ATTRACTIVE GUYS...

you will need to find a sex club or personal ads.

by your own admission, your tactics and viewpoints are not working for you.

i don't say this to be critical of you. truly.

i say this because you need to realize that the answer (solution) to your problem,

lies within yourself...

you need to do some introspection, because you have major incongruencies in beween your stated goals and your tactics.

you are surprised to find that only a small segment of the male population is ACTUALLY-GENUINELY concerned in NSA sex?

that surprises you?

so, your viewpoint of the male population is that:

- we are all easy
- we should fall all over ourselves to sleep with "you"
- if, and only if, we are attractive enough to meet your standards
- but, let it be known, that chemistry/connection is not allowed
- because, YOU are in control

ok.

best of luck with that. lol

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Hmm, yes well I have kind of said that I do consider them to be just "meat"... Of course that's only if it's a hook up and I hardly know the person.
I think you may be right about that.
Interesting... I actually made a thread about shit tests and bitch shields in the female only forum thingy... I was trying to ask if they were important and if so, how to best use them. It's such an unnatural thing to me to be bitchy or test people like that... I wouldn't know where to begin!

So that's why I'm here... To improve my "game"!
But doesn't everyone who is looking for sex want to have it with someone that they're attracted to?!

I don't think the kind of guy I'm attracted to would be found in a sex club or in personal ads...
I was hoping that the answer would be internal, not external, because at least if it's internal it may be within my capacity to do something about it!
Haha, yes I like the concept of the first three points, but definitely NOT the fourth. Actually in my experience, sex is usually a lot better when there's chemistry / connection.

But you have to admit, most men ARE easy... At least the first time.

really?

so why are you having a problem finding hookups?

also, you have effectively just 'glanced' over A WHOLE LOT of deep analysis in this thread.

you know how to 'actively listen' without 'listening'...

as evidence by the fact that you restate what respondents have said to you, and then go on to post the same points over and over as if you didn't actually 'hear' or 'internalize' anything that was said.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Because I'm really fussy. Usually when I go out I don't end up meeting any guys that I am attracted to.
Really? I was not aware of this... I am not quite sure I know exactly what you're referring to... Can you give me an example?

bingo.

and therein lies the crux of the situation.

you want an endless stream of what you consider to be "high quality (alpha) males" to play into your game?

but it's not happening.

like i said before, in more or less words...

your standards do not align with your tactics...

most "high quality (alpha) males" are not lining up to have NSA sex with a girl like you.

btw, how would you rate yourself on the HB scale? are you an honest 10? if not, you will never have a line of "high quality (alpha) males" lining up for hookups?

why?

because, as described before (in detail, only you didn't HEAR it) most guys need:
- a connection
or
- the POTENTIAL of a connection
to be truly attracted.

(there is the example you asked for of where you listened, but did not hear, btw)

those ALPHA males that you find attractive, are busy with others girls
- who are falling head over heels for them
- buying them things
- trying to bed them
- wanting to marry them and have their children

and you have WHAT exactly to offer these guys?

- um...vagina?

you think they can't get vagina from a more attractive source than you?

and when i say attractive, i mean "appealing".

like lode said earlier (only you didn't listen, another example)...all men want to be appreciated...aka- wanted, yearned for, needed even in MORE than just some sexual manner.

is any of this sinking in for you?

- only a small portion of the population is TRULY down for ACTUAL nsa sex.

- some of those are male, some of those are female.

- you have a misperception that most (or, all) men are shallow and don't want/need a connection.

- you think that an unreasonable amount of guys who are into "hooking up" should be ridiculously hot and match your exact physical standards.

- you think that ridiculously good-looking "high quality (alpha) males" will have no better options than putting their pee-pee into your foo-foo

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

yep .. i had alot of girls like you.. im not saying they are exactly like you - they jsut had the same way of thinking and none of them ever satisfied me or make me feel appreciated. I slept with a woman few weeks ago .. she's older and she really appreciated me for who i am , i really had a hard time controlling my emotions because she meed me feel significant .. i had many girlfriends but none made me feel the way like she does - in bed and above all.. out of bed.

what you call alpha guys are just mature guys who have their shit together and they know what they want or need , they have boundaries and they are not going to surrender those for some vagina... seriously.. mature guys aren't going to fuck you if they can get a hot girl WHO do want a significant relationship with them.

the guys you are after are probably like me... they will not just fuck someone for just some vagina.. me myself.. i constantly work at improving my personality and psychology.. i hook up with older woman in the range 30 to 48 years old.. because those are older , experienced, caring , more mature.. ( of course until i find someone of my own age who seems a proper choice ). But i wouldn't go out for your vagina , what do you got to offer ? because right now you have't made one single positive impression on me ( except for the fact you want to learn something ).

i fucked girls that didn't appreciated me , those were worhtless fucks , if i look back i can care less if i did got the vagina or not.. they just wanted sex only.
and i fucked girls that did appreciated me..those are memorable experiences , i hopefully can repeat those someday... hey, those only wanted sex but at least they cared about me and we talked alot about stuff - there was a connection of some kind.

so i don't know where you got your reality from , maybe you watched too much porn and it permeates your psychology , every human want a significant connection. Every guy has certain ideas about what he wants and what he needs , that doesn't make him a pussy, having different needs than your vagina doesn't make anyone a pussy.

so i don't know why you aren't listening because i already saw through you in the beginning of this thread.. standards are too high.. you have a ridicilious idea of what most men are or needs and you have some ego-protective bullshit and i don't know where you got it but you take it personal and i don't like it... somehow you keep blaming external and internal things turning around like a cartwheel.

listen .. you brain is flawed.. it only looks to what it ''can'' perceives and what it's programmed to perceive.. over a year or 4 you would see totally different things that you wouldn't have see before. People don't realize how much they are lying to themselfs , if you don't see a issue it's just outside your reality - or you are just lying to yourself that it isn't true.

again in the end a small percentage of men is willing to do one night stands and shit and even most of those men want a connection - even if it's for just one night. Most men who do not want a connection are just emotionally unhealthy men , who are damaged or are having a terrible pessimistic view about reality... certain people attract certain things and not all of it is positive...

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

wowowow! mack this is really good dude, finally we agree on something!

_________________
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thank god, LOL, it's about time!

thanks for the rep too

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I never said that... I find that terminology a bit weird because it doesn't seem to allow for personal taste to enter the equation.
I don't know what gives you the impression that I didn't "hear" what you were saying. I think *you're* the one who hasn't been listening! As I indicated before, I am grateful that you pointed this out. I also mentioned previously that I had generally tended to put more emphasis on the NSA part of it because I had thought it would make the guy feel more comfortable. Again, I reiterate: in my experience, sex IS better with a connection and I am definitely not opposed to finding a connection.
Yes it is, and I don't know why you seem to think it isn't.
Actually, I am usually not attracted to ridiculously good looking guys... That's why I told Chris2k10 earlier in this thread that he is not really my type. As I said before, I have weird taste, and I really can't help that...

I am shallow to a certain extent, but so is everyone, and if I don't know the person very well, then I think is is reasonable to base my attraction largely on physical qualities.

I really do wish we could move past dwelling on me being fussy, because that's not something I can change, so I would rather discuss how I can change my approach in order to develop a connection with those I do find attractive. I feel we can be far more productive that way.

Wow, that sounds amazing... Are you able to describe what she did to make you feel that way?

I do often feel like I don't connect with most people in general very well. I am not sure why... I guess I can only say again that I am hard to get to know because I am weird, complicated and don't fit stereotypes at all with regards to my opinions, characteristics and personal tastes. I have noticed just a couple of times that some people seem to not like me when they first meet me, but when they get to know me then they do. It's like sometimes I don't give people a good first impression, and I'm really not quite sure why.
Yeah maybe I have. I heard that Germaine Greer said that watching too much porn can be damaging to one's ability to have real intimacy. I am not sure if that's true, but if so, that's obviously not good!

I actually have had some discussions with a few different guys who have indicated that their experience have been that men are far more emotional than women. I doubt that's true, but I think it'd do society well in general to recognise that men have feelings, even if they don't always express them as readily as women do.

I wonder if, through my emphasis on NSA sex, I have unwittingly made the guy concerned that I'll think he's a pussy if he decides he wants something more meaningful, so he just quits hooking up with me before it gets to that...

I just want to add too, that I accept if my assumption that guys just want NSA sex all the time was incorrect. If you look at my initial post, I did actually almost guess something similar as a possibilty, in that I said that perhaps guys aren't as obsessed with sex as they like everyone to think they are.

It definitely is a common misperception that most guys mostly want NSA sex. This is what society is constantly telling us... I'm actually not *that* surprised to find out that it's wrong, because as I said before, I am aware that men are actually far more emotional generally than anyone seems to care to admit. Anyway, if you look back in this thread when Nadine was saying that she'd been rejected by guys when directly asking for sex, there were SO many responses saying they didn't believe her and that if she really was rejected, she must be hideous. This is just one example of how I may have got such a wrong idea about what most guys want...