| After reading countless dating books and studying different gurus, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is so much information in the community that is useless in practicality.
There are many problems with some of the dating advice in the community.
For example, when someone advises men to change their fashion sense, it’s useful but not effective enough for long term results. Fashion doesn’t change the man, which is what should ultimately change.
There is other advice such as changing your state, being in the vibe of social interactions, and “pumping up” before going out in the field. However, this advice is too much theory and not enough practicality.
Other advice, like being confident or being your authentic self is also too simplistic for long term results and doesn’t include enough practicality. Some advice is based too much on situational circumstances. This includes advice specifically on picking women up in bars and clubs.
Finally, some advice is just bad and actually damaging to your interactions with women. This includes spending money on women who don’t have an investment in you first. A classic example would be men who pay for dates with women they are not in a relationship with.
When a guy new to the community starts studying material for improving their social lives, they quickly realize that there are many contradictions between “gurus”. Many gurus are in the business to make a quick buck by having men pay for techniques that are supposedly top secret or super effective. Basically, they do what every successful snake oil salesman does: promise a quick fix to your social life.
Instead of accurately describing the very nature of communication (with both men and women), they make money on men’s hope to improve their lives. They get men sucked into an information tunnel that begins with a harmless email newsletter sign up and ends up with men paying thousands of dollars of their hard earned money in weekend seminars.
The most common mistake that businesses make is emphasizing things that are not the ultimate problems with men’s sexless lives. Their problem isn’t fashion, income, and lifestyle. Sure, improving these things are helpful, but they are not the root causes of men’s problems with women.
The truth of the matter is that it took years of bad conditioning by society to destroy the social lives of many men. Because of that, men are not going to get their social life handled in a weekend seminar, or just by reading a book. It’s going to take a considerable amount of time to see patterns emerge in human communication.
Social skills are developed and trained just like any other skill in the sense that it takes time and practice to perfect them. This is not a popular message which is why instead of going through the pain of occasional failure while practicing, men are willing to pay money to replace time. Good theory does reduce the learning curve, but it is not the determining factor.
The ironic thing is that although there are many men who have troubles with social interaction, the knowledge is out there and can be seen in society. The answer is in the examination of other relationships in society. We can then use that information to improve our social lives with other men and women. Social skills are not just for women, they are to improve friendships with men as well.
However, before we do this, we must first understand the debilitating problem of feminism. This will be discussed in the next my post entitled “Understanding Feminism”.
|
CHAT
