hay what's up everyone....

I wont make this long or boring but I'm just wondering if I'm in the right place. I also don't see the point in bull shitting you guys so I'm just gonna be strait up. I'm 21 and have never had the problem that some of you guys are talking about with girls. I've been in my fair share of long relationships and and thankfully all the girls have been pretty hot. I personally don't think so but I have been told I'm not a bad looking guy and this is the only way I can justify my success. I'm recently single again and rather than go out and actively look for another long term relationship or even one night stands (although if I could do it in a way where no one gets hurt I wouldn't mind). I want to up my 'game' enough to be able to catch the one that I want rather than them choosing me. Over and over again I have been in relationships that even though I'm not happy, I'm scared to bail and go it alone because I feel like I cant choose my own path or find a new girl. Another problem I have is staying in control or at least keeping it even in relationships.... as I'm being honest I kinda feel that I get walked over and always end up being the one that gets hurt. This may be because I have a nice guy approach to life and try to put others before myself or maybe is because I seem to be looking for love that was never around when I was younger (not a sympathy vote, just trying to get my situation across so your advice can be more relevent). I'm fed up of this shit and quite frankly women as well. However, I think that what is needed is a change in myself. I don't want to loose the nice guy approach and I also don't want a relationship until I start to regain some faith in women. This is more about a journey of self discovery for me and to make myself a better, more confident and interesting person to meet and become friends/ lover with, including FRIENDS with guys.... I want to be able to translate what I think I may learn here to other aspects of my life and make myself a generally more socially aware person. I want to stop beating myself up and ruining my self esteem. I want to have the confidence to not NEED someone else to make me feel whole and so on so on.....

okay so I lied this ended up being long and boring but thanks to those who took the time to read it anyway. I'm gonna be honest, its good to get a bunch of shit of your chest that society has taught us we should keep inside. Finally, any advice on whether I'm in the right place or if I should take another root is seriously welcome... also if you think I am in the right place then where should I start. I read the game the other day and am currently reading mystery method... will be doing the newbie mission tomorrow wish me luck

You remind me of my second best friend. He is very good looking, gets hot chicks, get into long term relationships serially, then they go to shit.

Yes you have the opposite problem of most of the guys here but I don't envy you. These woman your attracting are latching on to some weakness of yours which is likely related to you being a cool, nice, giving guy, then over time you probably loose their respect and they walk all over you. Im guessing this, but this sounds correct from my experience observing this pattern.

Whether you want to game or not game chicks you should at least be knowledgeable so you don't keep having the same trajectory with woman. This is likely an inner game issue so I would start with some David DeAngelo stuff as I think hes the best for inner game stuff.

There is no quick fix to this problem unfortunately.

Thanks man, sounds like you get where I'm coming from. I have read a little bit of David DeAngelo's stuff and it seems cool but I'm worried that the confident approach will come across as a bit arrogant. I will read in more depth though and see what i find. On the topic, do you have any advice to come across as confident and not arrogant? its a hard line to distinguish.

Confident vs. arrogant vs. asshole is not only a hard line to distinguish but the larger question is, why do you want to make the distinction?

I think your still trying to hold on to this nice guy, integrity issue, and "being yourself". Well you can go down that route as I did for about 30 years until you realize that no one is likely going to appreciate who you really are until they get to know you. Which means on the way to getting to really know you, your best bet is employing proven material despite it seeming unseemly to you. Think of it a your normal self with attractive modifications and eliminations of things girls find unattractive. Unfortunately, as you found at, once they know you, you still have to be Alpha and play games to some degree. It sucks but I have come to this very sad conclusion.

Remember this: the happy asshole is much more successful then the happy supplicater. You don't have to be a asshole all the time, but the supplicater thing, for whatever cruel trick God has played on mankind, doesn't work.

Start with DDA's 77 Laws of success with woman. Its 2 hours on audio and if that doesn't open your eyes I will eat my hat. Let me know how it goes.

will do man, thanks for your replys