Alright well here's the story...

My girl and I have been together over a year (almost 13 months) and we're very happy with each other. She's 16 and I'm 18 (no it's not illegal, her family loves me). Recently it became long distance because my mom took a job in another city for at least 3 months (I'm still a high school student, but I'm graduating this year). My girlfriend and I both agreed that we want to stay together no matter where we live. It's just that, due to past experiences with her, I get extremely jealous when she's around other guys when I'm not around.

Several times through the relationship, she has proven to be unfaithful... not physically, but mentally. She has MAJOR daddy issues. Her dad is in prison, so she fills the void with sexual attention from other guys. Like I said, I always caught her early so she was never physically involved with any guys (and she claims that it was "all talk" anyways). After the last time I caught her flirting around, she swore that it would never happen again (which, after the 4th or 5th time, is difficult to believe).

Now back to my issue... Every time she hangs out around other guys when I'm not around, it drives me nuts. No matter how Alpha I try and think, I can't force myself to believe that she'll be completely loyal to me. For example, last night she stood in line with her family ALL NIGHT for Black Friday at Walmart. But it wasn't just family... there was a family friend there who was 17. So she was basically around him for 12 hours straight until the store opened at 5 am.

I called her twice while she was standing in line, but she acted like "it was too loud" to talk to me for just 10 minutes on the phone. I don't know what it is, but when she's around other people, she always seems extremely eager to get off the phone with me. Another excuse was "This is my cousin's phone and it charges by the minute." So each call lasted about 30 seconds. On the second call, I got pissed because of this and accused her of flirting with the 17 year old guy. This made her pissed too, which made me MORE pissed. So the call basically ended with me calling her a bitch.

There HAS to be a better way to handle this kind of thing! Advice and thoughts would be appreciated guys.

Best way is to dump her sorry ass.

You are jealousy for very good reasons and you know. So you don’t trust your girl.

That is a major no no in relantioship, why stay with this girl?

When she goes to college, how will it be?

When she start going out at night with her friends how will it be?

Are you going to trust her?

Relantioship works on very foundations, being trust a big one.

But I ove the way you justify her actions. She is not a kid, she knows she is doing something wrong. She cant flirt with other guys come on, have a little more respect for your self. Are you sure she never cheat on you? . Its immaturity, and slut mode at his best.

Do you think you can controller her with phone calls. Why even bother. Let her

In my view You have two options. Besides the one I gave you.

Realize the obvious, that you cant do nothing to stop her if she decide to do it. So no need being jealousy, you cant control her with that, you gain nothing by having it, so you leave her be. Let her flirt at will, it isnt something you can control, if you trully believe she will never do it pyshical then go ahead be the idiot.

Or talk to her and put serious boundaries, what you expect in a relationship if she doesn’t agree or not respect you, dump her srsls. But I can see this thing is going nowhere.

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

The reason I want to stay with her is because I love her and I've invested a lot into this relationship (same story for her). Of course, since this is a post on an advice forum, I only listed the negative things about her. She has many positive attributes:

1. We generally get along very well. We talk as much as best friends, yet we're still able to keep our relationship exciting after a year.
2. She's sweet and very affectionate (I'm an attention hog, so this works out great for me)
3. She makes me the most important thing in her life. She always talks about spending her whole life with me.
4. The sex is AMAZING!
5. She's constantly doing gestures to prove her love. She makes me cards, writes me long letters, and makes me the first and last person she talks to everyday.

However, I agree with you. I shouldn't be justifying her bad behavior. She's old enough to know that her actions in the past were wrong, and she should know better than to repeat them. I really wish my trust for her would come back, but every time it does, she seems to screw up again. I've thought about how I'd deal with her going to college, hanging out with friends, calling other people... and I still haven't figured out what to do. I guess I've always figured that if she lives with me, I'll be able to keep a close eye on her.

Thank you for your explanation about jealousy. That's a very good way to think of it. It's not helping me control her behavior, so why have it? As for boundaries, it feels like the more strict boundaries I set up, the more she has the urge to rebel against them. She doesn't like feeling "forced" to do things.

1. you are 18 .. she's 16
2. she's 16 and you are clingy as fuck
3. but she hangs up the phone and like to hang out with other guys
4. you are 18 and she's 16...

how about this... after years of experience i can say ..

she does cheat on you sorry bro ... get back to me before you send her a message or do anything

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Ok, for me this doesnt prove anything. She is 16.

2- For now... why so needy?

3- what did you expect, at 16 everthing seems to be a big deal.

4- She enjoys sex... girls also likes sex.

5- Even seen girls do thigs buying expensive things and being the most neediest persons ever, but on the weekends she would fuck with other guys, so that doesnt prove anything.


Im have to agree with lode the probability that she cheated is huge.

She is 16, and cant conform to rules, and likes do challenge you.

How do you expect her to behave to the rules of relantioship. Not very well I presume.

She cleary doesnt respect you! If she had any fear of losing she would conform to your rules. Besides your rules are not stupid.

You just asking her to stop to flirt with other guys, and even that you are afraid to give her that rule. Because she is a rebel

Im lost for words to describe whats going on here

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

huege huge huge .. still reply to this before doing anything

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Lol thank you for the hard truth. I am a bit clingy about this, I'll admit. That's why I'm here... to fix my unattractive, jealous behavior. But to be honest, I don't think there are ANY girls my age who would remain more loyal than what I've already got. So in my eyes, it's a bit stupid to throw away a relationship I've invested so much time into, just to go find another unfaithful, immature slut.

I agree with the above replies, But I hope you discuss your fears and stuff with her and I'm sure if you think she's the one. she'll understand.
If not, truth is there's millions of other girls, and your young!
I would bet my life savings, that your gonna be in loads more relationships if this one hasn't worked out, good news is you've learn't from it! and you can put it to use in your next relationship!

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Don't focus too much on getting with her, just focus on getting to THE NEXT STEP."

sorry about the manipulation but i just needed to lure you out...fucking a bit with your mind.. she's maybe prone to cheating , but she didn't cheat..

you are clingy...and you are going to fix it , how ?
no.. you are just sticking to a worthless relationship ?
just to go another unfaithfull mature slut ? you have one fucked up perspective about society and woman lol ... also you think that you will only get immature sluts ?
what are you projecting here ? you sound fucking negative by the way...

so you hook up with woman who you didn't want in the first place...

clearify yourself

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

2. As an only child, I've been used to getting unlimited attention my whole life. And relationships are no different. I'm a guitarist, so I LOVE the spotlight.

3. Point taken. No counter argument there lol.

4. Yes, but she goes out of her way to please me more than she needs to. Hand jobs, blow jobs, foot jobs, tit fucking... none of those those are really "orgasm inducing" to a girl. But she does them because she likes to see me pleased.

5. Point taken again. Can't argue with that

I'm not afraid to give her that rule. I actually HAVE made her promise to it. But that doesn't suddenly build my trust back up. I'm trying to figure out if there's something wrong with the GIRL or with ME...

do you really think there are people without psychological issues... of course it's you.. why care about her ,she's out of your control. you cannot change people.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Haha you are very gifted with flipping things around and making me question myself. Ok, I'll clarify... from my experience with multiple TEENAGE girls, none of them seem to be a faithful little angel. They'll always pursue any selfish opportunity that comes their way... at least the attractive, flirty, sexually liberated girls. I'm not talking about the HB 6's who dress conservatively and suppress their sexual desires. I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just realistic from my observations. Even a skilled teen PUA couldn't keep this type of girl completely faithful. I guess it comes with the territory of wanting a sexual girl. I have great confidence in my own pickup skills, and I know that many girls DO want me in the first place... but they also want 50 other walking lifeforms with a dick. I should've specified what type of girl I was talking about before.

Great point! Everything is a learning experience. Now I just need to learn the "right way" I should've handled the situation.

Come on man your young. So what if you have time in this relationship.... What a yr?? That's not much time to get dead set on one at this age. I know it's hard to see it now but in most cases you'll go through a few of these types of girls before you find a good one. Best way to beat jealous feelings for one girl is to find another one! And man she's only 16, she has a very long road of growing the fuck up.

Either dump her or if you keep her around your going to have to find some girls to hang out where you are. It will help u even if your not fucking other girls ( which I would). And if you keep getting pissy with her and showing jealously you will push her away very fast! Do not let her mind fuck you anymore!

Thank you for the great points! I am getting a bit ahead of myself and understand what you're saying. She has a lot of maturing to do. And in the meantime, it's useless for me to react so strongly over her being an immature girl. It's just very easy to get caught up in the comfortable, gushy world that she fabricates to keep me under her thumb. I've been falling into that whole "I'm gonna be with you forever" trap. Thanks for clearing my head a little bit lol.