I'm tired.

Yes, I am tired because it's 2 AM, but I am not going to go to sleep quite yet because I need to express what I am really tired OF.

I am tired of being 24-year-old virgin with the type of sexual experience that would make some boys in middle school laugh. I'm tired of being awkward around women. I'm tired of having to keep quiet when the conversation turns to sex and/or relationships. I'm tired of feeling like my virginity is the elephant in the room when I'm with my friends. I'm tired of ALL of this.

(I've never admitted to being a virgin unprovoked, so typing it out and knowing that a bunch of strangers would read it has thrown me off a little; although, I must admit, it's somewhat refreshing.)

As with most AFCs, I used to have one-itis. There was, of course, the "perfect girl" in high school, and blah blah blah. On top of this, I never really had the sense of urgency to lose my virginity that most teenage guys do. So, I went into college, not really thinking too much of the fact that I had never had sex. Sure, I wanted to do it, but it never topped my priorities list. (This doesn't mean I haven't ALWAYS been REALLY horny, I just, for whatever reason, didn't think it was a big deal to not have sex.) And, again, I am horrible with women and just cannot talk to them.

Of course, as college went on, I became more cognizant of my virginity. Unfortunately, I was also gaining lots of weight, and thus, my already low self-esteem was getting lower. To top it all off, I'm also pretty short. So yeah.

Anyway, I've started to lose weight, and plan to continue to do so. However, that wasn't going to be the cure-all. The driving force behind my weight loss is my desire to get laid. And that force is now driving as fast as it possibly can. I've reached the breaking point, and so I've come here.

I was first introduced to the PUA community like many others -- through Neil Strauss' "The Game." Fascinated by the idea, I've taken a dive into the subject a few times, but never really immersed myself in it. That's all about to change, and I hope to get the support I need from everyone here. You have no idea how excited I am to start this, because I am very ready to go.

I've already read the "Newbie Mission," and I love it. So simple, yet an exercise which I already KNOW is going to help me and my approach anxiety. Is there anything else like that out there? Please let me know, because I will gladly test it out.

Finally, a quote I heard a couple weeks ago which really resonated with me and has inspired me to take more charge: "Failure is not falling down. Failure is staying down." Look, I'm obviously not an expert on the PU stuff, but from the small sample I've read, I think it applies. Sorry this was so long, but I had to get this all out. Look forward to getting to know you guys.



- LuckySeven

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Failure is not falling down. Failure is staying down.

hey man, it is great to get it off your chest, i know it might sound like the obvious reply but i've had the same thing, i was 22 and still had the big V over my head and I felt the same way.

But you've done the right thing man, admitting you have a issue is the first step. With me I admitted it, I read the game and watched the pick up artist which is a TV show that aired in the US and I started going indirect, that worked for me and eventually I lost my big V in a toilet cubical at my work christmas party, so it worked for me.

For you though the advise i'd give is start off low, you don't necessarily have to go up to loads of women to crack this and try not to dwell on the virgin thing. To start off just find a bar your comfortable in, have some friends with you and just look like the party, have a fun time and don't be too drawn in the the women count or if anyone is watching just have a great time, even make some new dude friends. Then go back to that club and make everyone know you there, eventually women will want to know who that life and soul of the party.

That first route i described is if you really can't talk to women, you can't approach and your afraid of it, and it does take a few weeks to get people approaching you, the main key of PU is approaching yourself, to do that like I said start small, just say hi to start with and smile and then build up, there's loads of material on here to help you.

alot of dudes on this forum have gone under the same problem and you're not alone buddy, just keep smiling and think of the positives. I'm a big believer in karma and good things happen to good people for the most part.

I hope i've helped in any way.

Thanks man, I really appreciate the support. Anyone else have any other techniques to get over AA? I do love going out to bars and clubs, but I really would love to establish day game.


EDIT: Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the States!

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Failure is not falling down. Failure is staying down.

its all cool, i'd love to hear advice on day game too as my day game sucks!

I'll be saying something that maybe will trouble you but it's important that you know. AA will never go away.. that's just how life is build.. what you learn though during your journey.. is HOW to not let AA get to you and you will slowly turn that AA in to Approach Excitement. But AA will never just disappear.. it is a evolutionary instinct.. we have fear of entering restreined fields and you can just learn how to use that in your advantage. Reducing your AA consists only by PRACTICING.. thats it man! Nothing else.. just always opening and opening you will get to a point where you will understand that it was really silly of you to have fear of approach.. hope I helped and good luck!

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Greatness is never borned

Appreciate it Valentyn. The more I think about it, approaching does excitement... so I guess the goal is turning AA into AE!

Also, without going into too much detail, I came across an instance in which I admitted to a girl I'm a virgin. Bad idea? In general, if it comes up (I assume a lot of you will tell me to make sure the conversation doesn't go that way), should I be honest about it?


EDIT: Anyone?

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Failure is not falling down. Failure is staying down.

It depends, I always find honesty is the best policy. I've been asked how many people i've slept with and i've always just said 'well how many do you think' and by using that line it also gives you an indication on whether they think you're sexually capable. If they guess 0 then you're credit is pretty low, if they say like 2 or 3 then they think your a good guy and anything above 5 they think you're a player, mind that is if your under say 28, i'm 22 for example and i've asked that question and they've always said urm 3 or 4... and in fact its only been 1.

So to recap try and swing the question back on them but don't admit it outright in the first stages of the approach, if you're in the bedroom and feel free to use the 'I don't have much experience, be gentle with me' line.

Any help?

Thanks, I'll make sure to keep that in mind for next time.

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Failure is not falling down. Failure is staying down.