hey not sure if this is where to post but i got an issue wonder if anyone has any advice.

so i built up this social circle by teasing the hotties, not pulling the trigger, generally being cool, fun and confident. demonstrating abundance and pre selection.

then about a month in to this year abroad we are all doing, i got some toilet action from the hottest girl in the SC, i tried keep cool after but it was kinda weird and we didnt talk much before so in any case, i didnt talk to much after. how should i have acted to stay the sexworthy guy in the SC who it isn't weird with?

then the girl i actually liked i got with her and laid her, then as i was tryna set up the friends with benefits situation i heard from someone she is regularly getting with other guys, and i thought she was crushing on me. this was lame and fucked me over. i started being weird with her and clingy and now she basically doesnt consider me the cool HV guy she thought i was. i am crushing on her now since the validation has been removed and obviously she has moved on.

as a result, the social circle have kinda excluded me and my ego wants back in! i still go to the events with them thanks to other people i know in the SC but its forced, awkward and i am not expressing myself because i am not comfortable.

there's an event on sunday and that chick is bringing her new boyfriend (we hooked up about three weeks ago) how do i play this to show the SC im cool and chill? i dont want my emotions to kick in and me being all in my head/ chodey.

is there a way to repair this situation, get the interest back of the crush? how should i have played it with the first girl? i have no idea how High value guys act after sex? are they completely friendly and talk to them just as much. i'm finding it hard to cope with the repercussions of what i've done. basically how do i act!!!???

thanks guys

Sounds like you started off ok, you just messed things up once you started fooling around with the girls. Go back to acting the way you did before. That's the person you want to be, not some clingy chode.

The question is, can you get your value back within this social circle. It's hard to tell. Girls talk, and you showed that you weren't congruent with being high value. Especially now that you are being all awkward just because you slept with one girl and fooled around with another. Stop that. High Value guys don't let sleeping with a girl change anything. Dealing with those emotions is hard to do, and takes some conscious effort to fix. You know you have a problem, so every time you feel your inner chode come out, tell yourself to "stop." Then make a conscious effort to reset your mentality. This should help.

One thing I noticed is that it seems like you just got into this social circle because you wanted to get laid. Are these people you are actually interested in being friends with, or are these just people you're "gaming?" One thing I've noticed about social circles is that you need to actually be interested in the people themselves to really belong in that social circle. The intent behind your actions shows in your actions, and people can tell.

When you hang out with them next, be your old self. Be confident and chill. You are the cool guy who doesn't let anything bother him. Be that guy.

Thanks. It's good to have this confirmed. I will try and revert back and stay the hell out of my head.

I like certain people in the social circle more than others, there are a few left that i am friends with but the girl i laid and am crushing on is one of the "valuable" people so since our friendship kinda fell apart my status within the circle did too.

Thanks again. I realised I need to work on my inner game. I was just pretending/ fooling myself that I was high value all along. Time to take some pain and realise who I am.