I could really do with some help. I've just found this forum and I'm stuck!

been seeing/sleeping with this for about a month, sex was really good, used to make her cum loads of but at the weekend she said she wanted to some space after telling me the same thing earlier. I stupidly have gone into AFCmode, only realised today but basically, I stopped being c&f, sending c&f texts, started prizing her, got too serious. Tried to email her today trying to joke saying there was this guy that wanted to go back to having fun and sending silly and sexual messages to each other. She sent the below message back and then I replied.
Obviously, she needs space! But how fucked am I? how can I re-engage? and would u say the fact she's put a kiss at the end mean anything?



I'm not loving da seriousness either but don't think ur really being fair. All I said is I need some space to think about things but u won't let me have it and keep asking me how I feel about things/trying to get me to agree to the basis on which we're going to see each other going forwards! Im sorry, i dont want to be mean but im really busy and stressed and just need some space-can I please have it? X

I tx back saying:
Fuck, baby pls dnt be mad at me, yes that's absolutely fine. Fuck! I really am sorry, thought the seriousness was adding to stress n wanted 2b part of the solution not the problem, kno there's pressure at the mo, jus wanted to help n maybe make u smile whilst u worked. Def wasnt some ploy, actually thought the mail might brighten up ur day....epic fail! Sorry X

Game other girls.

You are acting like a tool because she is the only woman in your life right now and it is a casual hookup relationship. The whole point of FWB is that you can see other people. First off, why are you sending her an email, call. Second, you're done. She asked for space, which you then responded to by going after her more. You need to find other women so that, at the very least, you can do more in your spare time than think about this chick.

I vote its over.

That was a horrible message you sent to her. Not only were you needy, but that was the worst display of grammar and annoying words I've ever seen. I'd say it's over, and if there was any way of salvaging things you already blew it with the e-mail and text message.

Hey man,

This is a really common things guys do when women tell them they need space. You called yourself a AFC so I'm sure you know what you did wrong.

Asking you for space means she is wondering if she is attracted to you anymore. Most likely because you are clingy and needy.

Basically you need to leave her alone. Dont text, dont call. If you see her, be friendly, not mad. The only way to recover is no contact until she contacts you. At that point you must show slightly less interest then she shows you.

Your mind will tell you to contact her and try to explain or make things better... Do not! That's what got you in trouble. Someone on this forum says "you must be willing to lose the girl to get the girl". This is very true. Honestly if you contact her, your chances with her will be 0%...If you don't, she may contact you again in the future.

This was my recent story as proof!!
drunken-fools-question-vt117480.html?highlight=

I fucked up due to being heavily intoxicated. Then tried to save the situation with some phone calls during the week. I honestly thought the situation was salvagable if I explained that I was drunk beyond belief. But the more texts I sent trying to look less attached and needy, the more her view of me being afc increased! I didn't follow the rules and listened to the little AFC wiener inside. I never spoke to her agian. But the way I view it now, you win some you lose some. Move on.

Thanks for the advice, got another msg from her:

She said:
I'm not mad at you. I just think ur missing the point which is I don't know and don't really have time to think about what I want us to do and I don't want to feel pressured into making a decision. Maybe I wasn't very clear. I appreciate what u were trying to do but can we just leave it for a while plz? X

I replied:
Hey mrs, I am sorry for being unfair, haven't really shown that I do like and respect you by actually giving it to you. I know I've got too close and need to let my attention wander. Take your time and call me when you are ready. X


I guess all I can is step away, make myself scarce and try check some next chicks. We've got an event in 3 w'ends time that we'll both be at. Bit concerned if there's not been any contact, it cud make things awkward though the alpha in me is saying a) it's not my concern and b) if I'm really stepping away then I can't be thinking about the next time we meet.
Lol, I've fucked this up good and proper haven't I?

Come on man, the only thing you need to fix here is your grammar.

_________________
Don't get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you.

Hey OP, I'm going to do you a favor and write the magic phrase you'll need in the future to avoid similar situations. Copy it to your phone for later use:
And this magic PHRASE can be used in so many ways. There's the dopey "OK". There's the HAPPY "OK". There's the OK, I'll chat with you later "OK". There's the Hmm. . . whatever floats your boat "OK". There's the cocky "OK" (Sure, if you like to stay home and watch re-runs on TV when I'm and out partying.). Plenty more. Try all varieties in front of a mirror and go all out. Make a peace sign. Do a victory V. Go for it.

And whatever you thought was game or cooky funny never happened. You landed this girl in spite of your lack in game, not because of it. Based on what you shared with us, any form of 'game' is an impossibility for you. You're a spazz. Hell, reading your comments, I feel like going out for a cigarette. . . and I don't even smoke. Oh and that 'alpha' in you? Come on . . . seriously? Let it go . . .let go of all this bullshit. You don't need to explain everything. You don't need to fix everything. You don't need to have the last word. You don't need to convince us or her or the World that you're this or that. Just let things be.

Try to understand that she's not a retard who is in danger of shitting on her neighbor's lawn without your brand of constant care. *I apologize if she really is mentally challenged. But even if this was the case, it would probably be more appropriate to find her proper assistance instead of hounding her to death.

Great post by kasabi. Here are a few other phrases I use that you should note down:

-fair enough
-if you say so
-cool

_________________
Don't get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you.

I agree with all the comments.

Youk're right, I didn't have any real game before I met her (used the tips here and other sites to make sure I did things right) but I escalated to the point she called me after a night out wanting to fuck but then I severely lost it. I guess this happens to a lot of newbies as I stopped being the person a) I wanted to be with her and b) she was initially attracted to.

I know exactly when it started, I was doing fairly well with c&f, making fun of her, turning most comments sexual, then I think she (maybe subconsciously as well as consciously) shit-tested me saying I make everything too sexual. I probably did go over the top a bit but instead of maintaining the innuendo and adding another layer to the interaction, I instead stopped and started being nice all the time! Things went downhill from there.

Am leaving it well alone from now on, need to make sure I learn for the future and now need to get back on the horse quickly!

Of course, there is a slim chance things could get resolved but I need to get it into my head, things are done, if anything happens in the future, it will but there's nothing I can do to sort things out now. She'll have to come to me. Need to use this time to get with some next girls and also sort some things out in my life that I kno contributed to be becoming a pussy at the first test she laid down!!

Since we're talking about future reference, if a chick says that you're always insinuating sexual intentions, what would you say\do? Obviously not my response of would u like me to calm it down? And then stop completely!!!

She shit tested you by saying you make everything too sexual? Should of replied, "You just make me horny, it's all your fault."

I want to save you the hassle of being bullshitted constantly from various sources. So google a book called "60 Years of Challenge" and torrent it. It's the most legit material out there.

_________________
Don't get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you.

this is finished my friend

Even if I made her cum 5 times a night? lol


Actually i want to ask a question? So i'm just trying to make sure I understand (not what was written) why things were written. I'm confused as to why she didn't just say point blank, LJBF? I know she said "can we just leave it for a while pls" which is obviously saying, she wants us to stop seeing each other for a while but I'm trying to work out why she leaves it open-ended eg uses "for a while" and don't know what she wants to do about us "at the moment". Does this mean anything?

I know the only way I can get her back is to lose her in my mind and move on but I want to learn as much as possible from this experience. I feel like I did pretty well at first in terms of clocking her interest and escalating by keeping things very suggestive and implying she was always thinking about sex with me but then I let things go off the boil and this is what I need to learn from. I basically handed her my dick and balls on a plate! Being the nice-guy instead of the crazy/funny guy who's nice to her......if that makes any sense.

I said it already, GAME OTHER GIRLS.

She wants space, and clearly you cannot be left to your own devices or you will end up texting her or something. So look for other girls. I'm sorry to have to break this to you, but she is not special. There are a hundred girls near you at this very moment that can be gamed. Go find them, and don't repeat old habits.

I believe she said this initially because she actually wanted some space. Also it can be her just being nice and not saying "We shouldn't talk anymore". And LJBF actually also means "we shouldn't talk anymore".

So I got this text from her today;

Hey mr, I'm sorry I haven't got back to you. Horrific week-so happy to be home. Have a nice weekend and I'll spk to u soon x


I figure not to reply until tmr or sat. Just thinking should I make it short and sweet and not even acknowledge wat she said in her earlier msgs. Or (after reading a post on here about attacking the problem) shd I deal with it head-on and say I kno she's been feeling pressured recently and I didn't help. And then bust some form of joke question at the end?

If this is recoverable then I kno I need to step away from needy guy mode. My question is, shd I jus take control of the situation and start teasing her and keeping things light or shd I explicitly say I'm taking things back? I guess I shd jus do it......as nike says lol