A situation has risen with my one month old girlfriend. She is currently unaware of my thoughts, so I wanted to run it before you guys prior to addressing her. It's worth noting that this girl is more or less head over heels in love with me (she hasn't said she loves me) but she has insinuated on numerous occasions that she views me as a future husband, let alone as simply a boyfriend. Furthermore, she desires attention all the time, and is very clingy. Last but not least, the large majority of her friends are males, and she's constantly made a point about her being more in-tune with males, than she is with females. She's not exclusive to male friends, but she has more than plenty. Oh, and she is a party girl in more ways than one. Anyway, the following things have happened with have led me to question her fidelity;

1) She told me that she met up with a straight guy friend to talk and stuff, and her girlfriend who holds feelings towards the aforementioned guy, questioned my GF as to why she was trying to steal him away and whatnot. My GF said that the guy is not interested in my GF's friend, and that my GF obviously has no interest in getting sexually involved because she's with me. My GF also made the point about her not being known to steal BF's or anything, so she never understood why her friend questioned her loyalty.

2) I received a text in the early morning after a night when she had been out clubbing. She said that one of her male friends had come to see her in the early morning, and that she was glad that he had finally left. She's mentioned this guy quite often to me, for what it's worth. Anyway, the guy was supposedly pissed because my GF's boss stole a girl away from him, and that he was hungry for pussy. She made a point about the male friend being really average looking. Then she further went on about him wanting to smoke out of her window(something she absolutely detests, smoking that is), and that her landlord allowed the friend to smoke provided he covered the door. She said that he put his trousers under the door, but then she quickly clarified that it was his work trousers. (My GF works until midnight, so it's not unusual for her or her colleagues to be carrying their work clothes.)

3) The next day she constantly told me that her bum hurt, and she even moved my hands to the spot which was on the inside of the cheek a centimetre or two from the labia.

4) Then I went on to her computer a few days later, and her FB was on, and there was a picture of her and a guy in a sub folder called London. She's only been here for a year, and almost all of her pictures on there are off her in Spain. Although, I suspect she was updating her profile. (I haven't added her as a friend, as my FB is for show, so I couldn't find that particular folder of hers when just viewing her pictures.) Also, it's nothing unusual that there was a picture of her with a guy, given that she has at least 15 pics with guys, several of which she is kissing the guy on the cheek. Plus, she goes partying with many of her male colleagues and friends, just to reaffirm her male-centred social circle. Hell, she had dinner with 2 male friends yesterday. Anyway, I opened up another browser and surfed the net. When she returned, I was looking at the TV, and whilst sitting on my lap, she re-clicked on her FB browser, closed the picture, and promptly looked at me, as if to see whether I had seen the picture.

When I add all of that together, all I've can think is that this girl may have a reputation of sleeping around, and that she bedded her 'friend', and her arse was hurting from all the fucking.

Having said that, all of her actions both prior and after have been of a girl who simply cannot let me go. In fact, I often lie about having to do something, just so that I can have an excuse not to go over. Furthermore, she told me everything, and armed me with all of this information. She could have easily kept it hush-hush, and I would never have known. Lastly, she defined our relationship as BF/GF a couple weeks in, if that means anything.

Also, I've become quite aloof to her recently, even though our last meeting was full of affection, as always. What to do?

My opinion, if she was cheating on you she wouldn't have told you about all the stuff happening. It would have been a secret. Also, party girls do stuff like that man, my last ex was a club girl and she had tons of guy friends she chilled with, nothing ever happened between them though, it's just the personality type.

That being said, I don't know your gf. Yeah, she could be cheating on you, but I doubt it. Your choice whether you want to be with her or not. I personally wouldn't be with her from how you described her, just because I hate clingy girls. But yeah, it's up to you bro.[/b]

_________________
My Blog

Maybe all that power in sex, is fucking you in another way. No girl likes to feel underpowered in the relantioship they always have a backup plan.

Perhaps she is trying to make you jealousy, and give you hints that are other males in the proximity, im going also guess that she is immaturity and probably young.

Lets be honest, she is the one passing the information’s, so she can’t be trusted, probably her desperate attempt to gain your attention and love. Oh well some girls are screwed. I met a girl who was clingy needy, and would tell me she has all those guys wanting to fuck her. I don’t know what is truth or not.

All you can do is trust and since you aren’t official gf \. I would ask her to explain something. Like where she got that pain closer to the labia.

But if I were you, I would be looking for a way out. Immaturity on those type of girls are deadly.

_________________
Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

she is playing games.

there is no doubt about that.

so the question isn't "is she playing games"?

the question is "she is playing games, what are you going to do about it?"

three major red flags:

- mostly male friends
- clingy
- attention-seeking behavior

does she have a lot of drama in her life? always some bullshit going on? with a friend? or at work? or at home? drama-drama-drama?

think about it, and if so, you are probably dealing with:

- At Best: an attention whore
- At Worst: borderline

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

So it's possible that she is playing games, but is it in order to gain my love? The thing is, I out trump her in that regard. I've told her far more stories where I've spurned women or had them come on to me when out on the town, and she's even gone as far to ask me why I was always talking to girls. Maybe she is getting her own back, but I've not pushed it far enough to really get her jealous, so it can't be that. I believe her stories somewhat, because I could even smell the smoke the next day, regarding that story of a late night visitor. What is she trying to achieve, if she is indeed playing games? The logical answer is that she wants me to feel for her the same way as she does for me, and she constantly points out that she misses me more than I do of her, and that I seem care-free at times towards her.

Also, I would say that she is an attention whore, though, what do you mean by borderline, Mack?(as in a borderline attention whore? If so, that is probably more apt.) Oh, and would you say that she didn't cheat? Although I feel that I'm looking way too deep into it.

no, just to clarify, lol

two ends of the spectrum:

milder end: attention whore 95% of women

severe end: borderline personality disorder EXTREME INSANE ATTENTION WHORE 5% of women

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

What i've learned is to always go with you gut feeling bro.. You have suspicious; these things don't arrive out of no where.. Something is causing you to feel the way that you do. It sounds like she feels guilty about something to be honest with you. It wouldn't be wise to remain exclusive with someone your getting suspicions of so soon. Let this one slide.. It'll also be a good test to see how she reacts to you suggesting an open relationship also..

Also, how would she feel if you were surrounding yourself with women all of the time?..

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

To add more beef to the story;

The thing about that is, I know her weekly routine right down to the tee. We have very contradicting lifestyles which doesn't allow us to spend much time together, but she works 6 days a week from 4pm to near midnight. I usually wake her up by phone call (not always, conveniently forget and what not) in the afternoon, and see her off to the station (likewise, not always). That's her late mornings, and then when she returns I usually meet at station, she is pining for me to come over at night, which I do several times a week, but otherwise she stays indoors and texts/calls me. She only has one full day off per week which she spends entirely with me. The only night she has free is on Saturday which is when she goes clubbing, but separately, as I tend to go on Fridays and during the week. She's been wanting to go clubbing with me, ever since we met, but I've refused her request. Otherwise, she's either working, at home, or with me. Having read the above paragraph, it reads like a poor depiction of my role in the action, thus far. I usually try to minimise as much time as possible in order to shorten our meetings, and I'm not invested in the relationship as much as her, although this is also my first ever which is worth noting. We've already been through quite a bit in just over a month. I was assaulted not long ago, which she helped me overcome, so we have built a strong connection, but she just has much stronger feelings.

I feel comfortable with her, but the above does not sit right. It's not the incidents in themselves that is the issue, I had no problem whatsoever when they individually occurred. It's when I looked back yesterday in retrospect where I somehow linked them together into what I've stated.

To add more beef to the story;

The thing about that is, I know her weekly routine right down to the tee. We have very contradicting lifestyles which doesn't allow us to spend much time together, but she works 6 days a week from 4pm to near midnight. I usually wake her up by phone call (not always, conveniently forget and what not) in the afternoon, and see her off to the station (likewise, not always). That's her late mornings, and then when she returns I usually meet at station, she is pining for me to come over at night, which I do several times a week, but otherwise she stays indoors and texts/calls me. She only has one full day off per week which she spends entirely with me. The only night she has free is on Saturday which is when she goes clubbing, but separately, as I tend to go on Fridays and during the week. She's been wanting to go clubbing with me, ever since we met, but I've refused her request. Otherwise, she's either working, at home, or with me. Having read the above paragraph, it reads like a poor depiction of my role in the action, thus far. I usually try to minimise as much time as possible in order to shorten our meetings, and I'm not invested in the relationship as much as her, although this is also my first ever which is worth noting. We've already been through quite a bit in just over a month. I was assaulted not long ago, which she helped me overcome, so we have built a strong connection, but she just has much stronger feelings.

I feel comfortable with her, but the above does not sit right. It's not the incidents in themselves that is the issue, I had no problem whatsoever when they individually occurred. It's when I looked back yesterday in retrospect where I somehow linked them together into what I've stated.

Oh, and she always pays exactly half and makes sure to do, whenever we expend money together. Just thought I'd add that for some reason.

Everything you've said, has given a logical reason as to how she couldn't be cheating.. Now women aren't really logical now are they?

My best friends girl was similar, she would also spend half of her 500 dollar weekly pay checks on getting him sneakers/clothes/ electronics or what ever else he needed.. She would also cheat on him all the time..

Now your right, she doesn't have the time for a full blown emotional relationship with another guy, but does that mean she doesnt have the time for a quick one night lay?... Some sort of investment, cause you to right a 5 paragraph report on her. I doubt shes on a female site making a 5 parapgraph report on how to get you more invested

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

THE only thing to do is to not act INSECURE. If she tells you she slept with a guy (without fucking of course) just act all cool with it. If you keep worrying about her leaving you, she WILL leave you. YOU need to worry about YOU leaving HER instead. Just calm the fuck down bro. That'll drive her crazy, she WANTS you to be jealous to see if you like her and shit. The problem is that that will just lead to more bullshit and then you'll find out you two haven't fucked in a long time.

_________________
Don't get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you.

I was an aspiring journalist, so writing is a hobby, and something I can do very quickly. I also like to collate my thoughts, but obviously, I do care enough to want to receive help when deciding my next course of action.

I think she might have cheated and she has some kind of regrets... But again, like fuze said, gut feeling is pretty strong usually.

And even if she didn't, I wouldn't stay with someone who plays that kind of game with me.

fuze is right. as usual.

listen to your instincts.

besides, with the situation you two are in,

NEITHER of you should agree to exclusivity right now.

think about it...

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

she is fucking with your head. dont let this shit bother you, go talk to other girls and see how she responds