Yeah, the title describes my predicament pretty well.

In order to get good at absolutely anything, you need to practice. If I sucked in a game of basketball, I practice for a while by myself and kick ass in the next game.

However, becoming a PUA requires you to stay in the court and muscle through the humiliation of failure after failure, game after game, because the active playing field is the ONLY place you can practice; it's not something that can be practiced solo or even with low risk.

It seems like the opposite of a game, it starts off as a fucking nightmare and gets easier as you get better at it. I'm caught in a paradox, any advice guys?

Well for one thing, the way your thinking about this whole pick-up thing kind of sucks. The fact that you think that there is no low risk way to practice pick-up is not good...

The truth of the matter is that pick-up is always low risk when yo are doing cold approaches. (Warm approaches can be a little different, because you may have mutual friends with the girl), but as far as cold approach goes THERE IS NO REAL RISK. If you fuck up and the girl doesn't like you, guess what? You get to walk away and NEVER SEE THAT GIRL AGAIN. That's sounds pretty damn low risk to me. That's the beautiful thing about cold approach.

And you have to realize that even when you "get good" at pick-up, there will always be girls who you get rejected by, so you are never going to eliminate all risk of rejection. Therefore, you have to start thinking about the idea of talking to girl as FUN. Whether or not you get the girl, its FUN. Look, you're going out and flirting with girls. Its not life or death. Its supposed to be fun. If you watch naturals, they have fun whether or not the girl likes them. My cousin in one of the best naturals I've ever met and I've seen him get rejected by girls many times, but he's always smiling and laughing no matter what, because flirting with girls is fun for him. Its not about getting any one particular girl. You just gotta get out there and start enjoying it.


And if you're really having that much trouble, then start small. Get yourself into state by doing little things first and then building up. (I've taught PU for a little while now, and I STILL do warm up sets and things like that to get into state sometimes. Its part of the reason I'm pretty successful at this stuff now).
You can start REALLY small by asking somebody for the time. Then ask somebody for directions. Then ask somebody for directions and make a quick comment about something and walk away. Then ask somebody for directions and try to hold a conversation for 30 seconds and then walk away. Keep building it up and before you know it, you'll be ready to open a girl and feel good about it.

You can't think about it as a "fucking nightmare" cuz its not. You're learning how to pick-up chicks for christ sake! Its fucking FUN!!

Sounds to me like you are afraid of screwing things up and therefore viewing pickup as a chore rather than good time. The truth is, screwing up is a great way to build attraction. In fact, it's a GREAT way to build attraction!

Why? Write this down in big bold letters and post on your wall where you can see it:

EVERYTHING IS RECOVERABLE!

Every situation is can be recovered given enough work and time. The question becomes whether you want to put the time and effort into it. Think I'm nuts? Play this game with your buddies next time you are at the bar:

get at least 3 of your buddies together
1. one of them makes up a character (007, bugs bunny, underpaid stripper etc.)
2. another buddy makes up a pick up line (emmmmm....what's up, doc?)
3. your third buddy picks out a set
4. you (or whomever turn this is) has to start interaction in character and use the pickup line. You can't tell the target set after delivering the pickup line what game you are playing. (You can tell them later if they ask or the set sticks)
If you chicken out you have to buy a round of drinks.
whether you run out of money or have a great time is entirely your choice. The sets tend to be fun and interactive. Make a fool out of yourself and watch, in disbelief at first, how easy it is to recover. Notice how much, except for you, really gives a damn XD.

Hope this helps,
Al

Actually there is no failure. It's all much more of a game than you think.

Once you reach that mindset you are golden. All it takes is treating it like a game. The more you approach, the easier this will become.

go out right now, today, to somewhere where you aren't known like a mall in some unusual part of town, and approach every single female you see. Just say hello to her, nothing more.

Do this until you are not afraid of starting up a conversation. If you do this every day your problem will be gone inside of a week.

This may sound weird but I always pretend im in a dream and it works awesomly because im in the mindset where nothing matters because this is just a dream.

It's been a year. I am done.

I am living back home under good circumstances, but any sexual contact eludes me.
I officially give up. This shit is not for me, and I couldn't take the emotional pain of getting rejected even when I knew exactly what was coming. Some men have what it takes, most don't.

I now interact with other people under an unconditional "off-limits" policy. I eliminate ANY sexual thoughts from my mind during an interaction and engage people on a purely intellectual level, and I have a great social life with many friends thanks to this; I am not a threat. Every time I see a couple kiss or make out at a party, it chips away a part of my soul thinking "that could have been me, and I fucked it up".

So in summation, thanks for your help everyone. I did get a better social life out of this, which is great, but I will never be a pick-up artist or anything remotely close to it. It's not in my blood.

This is Kevin Johnston signing off, I hope you all achieve what I couldn't.

Kevin,

It sounds like you want this. It sounds like this means a lot to you, and it's going to hurt a lot of people on this forum to see someone quit by leaving a post like that.

Maybe you need some time (a week? two weeks?) but you shouldn't give up on something that's important to you.

It seems like you have a really obvious sticking point and all you need is to get past the "embarrassment" of a bad set. We've all been there, and once you get past this, it'll never be a problem again. Ever.

Just think of it as a game! Even if it's for one night, just play it like it's a game. The more you get rejected, the easier it'll be in the future.

PUAs like Style talk about getting rejected thousands of times, and it can't have been easy for them, either. Think of it as a game, think of girls as computers, and think of how good it's going to feel when you start closing.

I know you're in a dark place right now, but we've all been there. That's why we're here, and that's why I know that you can get past this.

You need to realise how bad you want this, and how close you are to getting it. If there's anything that the art and learning routines can teach you, is that it's not in your blood. You can do this.

JUST DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF