First off, hello. I'm glad to join the board. I've read a few PUA books, one called The Game and another called Double your Dating. They seemed like good concepts, but I have more questions, so here I am.

So to get to the point: All of this great advice is completely overwhelming to be honest. I have no doubt it works, but I don't even know how to recognize my body language, letalone change it. I'm really great at reading people, unless they're talking to me. I think my insecurities block my reading of IOIs. Also, I can't tell how I come across to people at all. I assume pretty weakly cause I need to build my self-esteem, and women can tell when you don't value yourself.

I feel a good place to start would be confidence. I have none, so I am going to try and fake it until i make it. But I don't know how to change. I don't know if what I'm doing/saying is the right thing to do/say.

Any advice on how to better observe myself and know how to tell if I'm coming across to people the way I intend to?[/list]

First of all welcome to the Forum Baaaark. It's good you have made an effort to join the forums and improve your life. You should also know that you're not the only one with this problem. Now lets get to the point. The best way to observe yourself is not to observe yourself. The only reason one would like to know how one comes across is because of insecurities. Ones subconscious will always tell him that he's doing something wrong and one will therefore act on those feelings and it will show threw him. Now lets be more practical here. Only when one receives the response he expected will one be confident. I will show you an example of what goes on with you now and how to fix it. I was at one point the same. I will create a conversation between you and the girl and what goes on in your brain during this conversations.

You approach a girl and say:
You: Hey how are you doing. Your Brain Says: I hope she responds in a positive note and asks me back a question or something.

She: Good. Your Brain Says: Oh what do i do now? Does her one word response mean she doesn't want to talk now? Is she just answering like that because she is tired? Why didn't she ask me back how am I doing? (her response did not meet your expectations you therefore get confused)

You see in this conversation you were constantly thinking about what she will think or say and therefore got confused and as a result didn't succeed. The way to get over this is to feel good about yourself. You accomplish gradually. You start by everyday doing things you feel good about and changing your mindset. You should always see yourself as the prize. Who cares what people say or think. If you have to realize that when thinking about what others think of you only you get affected. The people who think you did something wrong wont gain or lose but you will. So who cares about them. Let's say you see an attractive girl walking outside you go up to her and say "Hi". If she say "hi" back and you begin the conversation and get her number you WIN. Now, if she says "I am sorry I can't talk now" or thinks your weird, who cares! You will never see her again. And if anything you should think she is weird for not talking to you. Now let me show you an example of a conversation of a guy who doesn't care about what the girl or anyone thinks of him.

He: Hey how are you doing Your Brain Says: Lets have some fun let me see what this girl has to offer.(You don't really care what her response will be doesn't make a difference.)

She: Good Your Brain Says: (your brain doesn't even think about her response here because your not looking for her response so this line would be blank)

You: (Continue to talk like she gave a good response) Today is a crazy night for me because so so and so.

She: Oh that's interesting.(Boom you just sparked a conversation)


See the difference between the 2 conversations. When a girl sees that a guy doesn't care about her response it throws her off. She gets amazed and starts to look at you not the same way as 90% of the guys she meets whom she considers losers. Girls want a guy who doesn't respond to other peoples opinion of him. They want a guy who creates his own reality. A guy who creates his own social standards. The only way to reach to this level is by going out and practicing. Nothing will teach you more than experience. You will sometimes succeed and sometimes fail but every fail and success will lead to future success. Good luck.


- Amazing Art -

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"

Great response by AmazingArt.

My advice is to start small, become social. Before you can be seductive you need to be social. Until you can be comfortable opening you won't get very far.

Read up on opening and then go in field and test out whatever you found interesting. Eventually you'll notice that it's not so difficult and hopefully get past approach anxiety. After you believe that you have become very good at opening you can start seducing the girls you open.