What to do when she texts/calls TOO much



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 6:23 am 
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Does anyone have any suggestions for how to better handle and balance a situation where an over eager gal texts and calls too much? This has happened with women ive gone out with several times, but more recently with someone who i exchanged numbers with in person briefly, and have been talking to via text and phone. This particular women is sending texts early in the morning, mid day while im at work, and at night if i am not with them. The messages are everythign from random complaints about her day to "hey, where are you" or "hey whats up" every other hour. Also using nicknames like hunny, babe, sweetie, etc? i understand this is a positive indication of interest, but this has made it next to impossible to spontaniously initiate a conversation (when i do have the time) without feeling like I am arriving late or replying way after the fact. I have an extremely busy schedule with balancing work and college classes lately, and ive made that clear, but it hasnt made a diference. this girl is really cute but cant seem to get out of her own way.

I need some thought on the best way to respond to this without seeming like I am giving the cold shoulder or being a jerk. I tried telling one before something to the effect of "i will contact you when i can talk", and the connection with her was never the same after that, she went totally cold. what are some better ways of telling her you need space, or just indicating it without saying? I am interested in this girl, I just want to slow her down a little bit. we made plans to get together many times over the holidays, but im fearing this thing may crumble by then if i dont figure something out to keep the spark going while keeping a distance from the stranglehold. please help fellas!


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 10:46 am 
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Take your time to respond. Or fake excuses why you can't respond. I once had a girl who was an over eager texter and I'd say I was going to bed (about 9:30pm) or that I was with friends or in a meeting. Slow the interaction down but not the tension.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 12:03 pm 
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Quote:
Take your time to respond. Or fake excuses why you can't respond. I once had a girl who was an over eager texter and I'd say I was going to bed (about 9:30pm) or that I was with friends or in a meeting. Slow the interaction down but not the tension.
Slowing down the interaction is my intentions, just dont know how to go about it without shutting things down completely. She is burning things out quickly at this pace.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 12:35 pm 
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I certainly seem to remember this woman I was with.. with whom I'd shared 1500 texts in a month. :wink: And if you think that I was responding to her every message as soon as I got it, you're wrong.

The trick to carry on conversations is to know when to keep them going and when to let them just be.

As a simple rule, use the full stop(.) as the termination point of the conversation. Yes, nor "..." neither "??", if you want to drop the conversation off at a point,end it with a statement followed by a full stop.

The keywords being "statement", not any open ended line, not any teasing comment, not some question. A statement is the flattest form of communication.

e.g.

Her : So, it was crazy, right??!!
You : Yes, it was. Now, I'm off to studies.

There. You said it. You let her know that after this point she shouldn't bother you or even if she does text you, it's not going to be replied back to. End the conversation with a valid reason for non-communication past that point and you won't face her "shutting off" like you put it.

Also, fix a schedule. If you're too much in love, call each other once a day, everyday (given you cannot see each other). If you're just getting to know each and enjoying it a call every other day for an hour, works. If it's just another woman you've met, or you're not that invested, call her once or twice/week. This was an example. You can of course, fit your own variation with whatever works for you.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:32 pm 
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Quote:
I certainly seem to remember this woman I was with.. with whom I'd shared 1500 texts in a month. :wink: And if you think that I was responding to her every message as soon as I got it, you're wrong.

The trick to carry on conversations is to know when to keep them going and when to let them just be.

As a simple rule, use the full stop(.) as the termination point of the conversation. Yes, nor "..." neither "??", if you want to drop the conversation off at a point,end it with a statement followed by a full stop.

The keywords being "statement", not any open ended line, not any teasing comment, not some question. A statement is the flattest form of communication.

e.g.

Her : So, it was crazy, right??!!
You : Yes, it was. Now, I'm off to studies.

There. You said it. You let her know that after this point she shouldn't bother you or even if she does text you, it's not going to be replied back to. End the conversation with a valid reason for non-communication past that point and you won't face her "shutting off" like you put it.

Also, fix a schedule. If you're too much in love, call each other once a day, everyday (given you cannot see each other). If you're just getting to know each and enjoying it a call every other day for an hour, works. If it's just another woman you've met, or you're not that invested, call her once or twice/week. This was an example. You can of course, fit your own variation with whatever works for you.

Good luck.
thanks, those are some things i didnt think of


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