Alright so you guys probably don't really have to read this part of the post to know where it's headed but yeah, as you know im in the friend zone. I've been friends with this girl for a little over 2 years, and I know for sure that im in the friend zone lol. I've been reading up on a lot of shit on how to get out of it but i feel like everyone leaves shit out in their descriptions on what to do. The basic jist that I got out of it is: 1) try to date other girls 2) act like you don't give a rats ass about her for a while 3) make a move or whatever.

The problem with this is that we almost NEVER hung out alone because we were always part of a group of bestfriends that constantly hungout together and im 18 now, and back then i was 15(just turning 16).. and with the people i hungout with, she wouldn't respond to the flirting in the way that i would want her to if i tried(atleast i thought), but tbh i guess i had multiple opportunities to make a move, and i just never did.. and while she was dating other dudes i actually constantly got into fights with her and shit, cause I was jealous haha... Last summer I actually did the one thing that everyone always says not to, and I told her that i had feelings for her for a while and she didn't really respond the way i would have liked lol.. She basically told me that she only liked me as friends and we didn't really talk for like.. a couple of weeks. But since we hangout with all the same people we eventually started speaking again.. but yeah idk, right now we actually play a couple of video games together with multiple people, and I don't really know what to do in terms of her while im talking to other girls... do i act friendly with her and let her be aware that im dating people? Or should i just completely ignore her while letting it be known that im dating other people? Cause lately i actually haven't really been nice in the slightest.. or texted/tried to speak to her first.


Oh also, I've been doing my homework a lot and I actually got 3 girls numbers today on campus at my school. (And if it helps, I'd like to think im very good looking I'd like to think im an 8.5/10ish, lots of girls actually randomly hit on me... they're just never above a 6 lol, which i guess makes sense.. cause the hotties want you to approach them right?) I mean i used to have no confidence back then, and no game at all.. but if i could turn back time she'd be going out with me right now lol.. its just, obviously past that point completely so i have to try to resort to some other way of going about it

Friend zone is a bitch, There is only a few good ways to get out but you need to be patient.

First do you hang out with each other and talk to each other often enough for her to notice if you freeze her out? You say your good looking etc... use that to your advantage. Hit on her mates in front of her, Just piss her off make her want you but don't give in straight away your the man if she tries anything if any of this succeeds make her chase you tease her she will explode. This is what I did with my GF I've been with for a year now, I was in a friend zone with her for months she knew I liked her yet I hated her because I wanted her so much. We hardly ever saw each other out and she asked me go see her as mates on her birthday.

This was phase 1 of my plan.
My plan was to bring another woman with me. Which I did this woman I brought was smoking hot she didn't expect that I knew she was shocked. So what I did was just wished her happy birthday and leave with this girl which I did manage to lay.

Phase 2
I stopped talking to her completely, We spoke none stop everyday if it wasn't over Facebook it was text I stopped that completely. After two weeks she broke asking what she'd done and saying how low it was to bring this girl to her birthday.

Phase 3
We both got invited to this party, this was the night I thought all or nothing I planned my phases for a few months now I wasn't going to invest any more time in this woman. So hours before the party I got well shaved haircut new clothes etc... If you look good you feel good I needed the confidence that night. I got to the party making sure I was noticed I went to talk to everyone apart from her at the start, I soon went to say hi I wasn't been a cunt or anything with her I was just blunt. I thought her mate was hot so I started gaming her and after a while we where kissing. After that my ( friend Zone) girl grabbed me to one side and said what the hell am I doing so I just went you knew I liked you and you just took the piss so now I don't give a shit. We got to talking a little more I went in for the kiss and it happened we both had an awesome night she came back to mine we didn't sleep with each other but just fooled around and now I'm still with her a year later.

What I'm saying is if you want something go get it invest some time in it maybe it'll be worth it maybe it wont. Sometimes you just have to take your chances. Hopefully that will give you an Idea of a situation. Hope it helps dude.

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The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

Lol sounds like an awesome plan, good shit man. The only problem with that is that.. as weird as this sounds, she doesn't really have any girl friends aside from the people that i chill with when i hangout with her, and none of them besides her are goodlooking(and no i dont hang out with a bunch of ugly girls lol, there's like 4 dudes including myself and 3 girls.) So my only option is to just find someone that they're not familiar with that's goodlooking and bring her around, yeah?


Also... as i said up there, i haven't been speaking to her on a regular basis for quite some time.. i'll talk to her like once every couple of days or so, we barely text tbh. So should i start that up again for a little while so she gets used to talking to me again, AND then bring around another chick? ... Or should i just stop talking to her completely.. disappear for a couple of weeks and tell my other friends that ive been hanging out with this "hot chick" so they'll automatically relay it while she's around so she gets the idea, and then bring her around at a party or something?

Just need these few questions answered and i'll be set, thanks for the advice though, it will definitely help.

bump

I like Ap's advice, its a good post. However what you did was high risk/high reward, that kinda shit will only fly with the simpler or less experienced girls. A lot of girls will catch on to that plan and stop taking you so seriously once they find you being a player.

Also, you shouldn't scheme and plan things, its a bad habit. While making her jealous was a good idea, you shouldn't over-analyze things so much.

What Ap's strategy breaks down into was:

1. becoming desirable (he did so by showing her that other women wanted him). You can do this by doing what he did, in fact, having social proof from other girls is NEVER a bad thing. Women are always competing with each other for the great catch.

2. walking away. This is KEY. As long as you are there for her when she needs you, you are whipped. Now its o.k. to stay in touch with her to build trust and a connection. But once she finds out you like her, you better book it, and prove to her the opposite. In fact, make the opposite true. Now although you will pretty much always feel something for her, because you never had her, you want to diminish this as much as possible.


So what I recommend you do is this: She wants to be friends? Then Friend Zone HER. You can only benefit from such situation. Continue to talk to her, but make yourself less available to her. Start seeing other girls, and ask her for advice. Make your talks the lest flirty and sexual you can. The hardest part really is gonna be internal. That's why walking away for a bit, before you even begin, is what I recommend the most.

Live your life as you would live it if you had never met her. This is also a good reference point, if you matter to her, she'll come looking. That way you have a better idea of how to act.

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"Be the change you wanna see in the world" -Gandhi

So you fucked up by getting put in the friend zone. Stop wasting your time here man. Brutal but honest.

learn from this.

The next girl you meet what are you gonna do?? NOT get put in the friend zone!

Complicated situation, and normally I would tell you to let her go, but i see you really like her..
From where you are standing now, there is now way forward with acting like before.. So first, you should a freeze-out.. That means you show much less interest in her, stop talking to her so much, hang out a lot less etc.. Do this for how long you think it takes, but ussualy it needs to be from 2-3 weeks. Then in the meanwhile do a jealousy plotine.. That means you date other girls and that she sees you with them/her..But it mustn`t come off like you are trying to prove her smth. Bcs then you will deffinetly fail. Bcs Jealousy plotline and Freeze-out go hand in hand. In her head, it means, that you wanted smth, you lost interest, find another girl and thats bcs you dont talk to her anymore. It most cases if it`s done right, she feels a little jealous.. How she reacts to this it`s her thing and it`s different with every girl.. And then you have to have a precise timing when to do the last step. The reframe. You do this on some party or when you are both on some event, but it must not be arranged. Spontaneous. And then you Reframe. You aren`t together bcs of what you were like. So find that sticking points of yours, and reframe to her with changing those. An example: you were moody, when you do a reframe, you are happy, dancing, nothing can affect you.. etc..
Reframe is mostly about what you do and how she feels about that. Bcs its like she met a new person, she will be interested in a lot of things. The more things you change, or do during the freeze-out, the more questions and interest she will have.
Then you game her normally, throw some DHV. And don`t you dare having those gayspeeches. A lot of times girls then say that you`ve changed tralala.. Don`t respond to that with serious tone and answers.. Tease her, be cocky..
Good luck, hope it helped

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There are no lesbians, just women who never met Sid.

Thanks for the advice guys ^^

Couple of options. 1 tell her straight out that you want to fuck her. This is risking the relationship but it depends on how much you care about it. She might say yes so you never know.
option 2 is to keep her as a friend and secretly use her as a wing to get you other girls. When she sees this she will maybe get jealous and get more attraction for you and then want to fuck you.

You win either way

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hot fat and sweaty

so after being "friends" for awhile, when do you freeze. and do you escalate at all during "friend time"

I think you could freeze whenever you decide you dont want to be in the friend zone anymore lol.. as long as you are consistently talking to her, and idk about the escalating part

Option #1 will never work lmao.. thanks though

AP's advice is great.

While Styles was traveling europe with mystery, he learned something.

"You have to be willing to lose a girl, to get her."

At some point, you're going to have to take some steps to push her away. Let her know you're a limited commodity, and highly valued. That you're willing to toss her away like old french fries.

She might take the bait, she may not. Eventually you have to take a risk.

That would never work, women are much more than sexual objects, the only reason she would agree to 1. is if she was a total slut. Most women friendzone guys because for one, they are not interested in them, but the second reason is because they think the guy's only goal is to get in her pants.

So the answer to the question, "how do I escape the friendzone" is really as simple as make her interested in you. Sometimes its as simple as getting that sexual spark, sometimes its more complicated.

There really isn't and set solution for any problem, the only thing we CAN do, is guide you in a general direction that is more correct. But in the end, its your own skill and understanding of the situation that makes the difference.

We've already given you a general outline: Walk away for a bit, and show her you are not interested in her anymore. This also shows her you aren't her lapdog, so she will respect you more. Respect, is a very important part of this whole thing. The second thing is becoming more desirable, social proof is great, but also keep in mind, you gotta be more desirable to HER interests. You aren't gonna act like a total asshole, when she hates people like that are you now? This is key as well, because if being desirable to her interests causes you to change yourself in ways you don't like, then that's a hint of the relationship that's to come, and obviously, she's not as special as you thought her to be. In which case, walk away completely.

Using a woman as a "wing" is a great way to friendzone girls, but you gotta be careful about breaking character. If you start using her as a way to pickup girls out of the blue, she'll probably catch on to your act, and stop taking you seriously. The best thing to do, is to use her for dating advice. "hey, I like girl x, and she seems to show interest in me because blah, blah, blah, do you agree? You think we'd make a good couple, should I kiss her?" This is also a great way to look at your flaws in dating, and she will be the one to guide you, not only to get this girl, but will also flat out start telling you what SHE likes. In the the context of friendship, this is normal. Also, this breaks that whole "he only wants to fuck me" frame, as she begins to see the more human side of you, and begins to REALLY trust you. Also, this opens up opportunities to comment on how much girl x like how you do y with her in bed. You could even tell her how you've read about sexual secrets that help a couple build a real connection in bed, yatta, yatta ( I recommend you actually do this instead of lying and saying you did).

Yeah, girls are highly sexual, and they love sex more than we do. But, you gotta realize, girls also see sex in a MUCH different light than we do. For them its about connection, its sensual, emotional. So if you can demonstrate that you are a man who can trigger those unique and special feelings in a woman. Then she will be all over you, cuz that's hard to come by, and that's EXACTLY what women look for.

Last thing, "you gotta be willing to lose a girl to get her." Keep in mind that this is only a good mentality to have when approaching dating. You, by no means, wanna do something that will CAUSE you to lose a girl under such ultimatum. That's a common misconception I see a lot in this site. This should simply be your frame of mind so that you are more daring in doing what you need to do.

Well, that's about all I can think of. Obviously, don't forget to have that sexual spark at all times. I would normally say kino, but in this case I say no. I say deprive her of it, and make her see what she can't have. But still keep the sexual talk and subtle flirting.

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"Be the change you wanna see in the world" -Gandhi

Best advice thus far, thank you. Do you think it would be good to ask her to come on a double date with me and some other girl and her friend? (but not being srs.. just to make her angry at the fact that she realizes i dont like her anymore) ? lolol