I havn't talked to her too much... She e-mailed the a couple nights ago tho lol Talking about how she hopes I'm doing well, that I never tell her anything about my life, that she's been busy with work and school, and how she misses watching this one TV show and how i ignore her texts.

So I replied telling her I'm good.....Didn't really give details about what I've been doing..Just that she is missing out on that TV show because its been exciting..Told her I hope she's doing well with school and happy with her job..And told her not to take it personally that I don't always reply to her every day..Told her I haven't been ignoring her, I just can't talk to her every day like we're best friends..So I need my own space..

She wrote back saying thanks for telling her that, and clearing things up because it makes her feel sooo bad when I don't give her attention..Then she apologized for mistakes she made..then continued to point out my mistakes like some justification for her to make hers....then she apologized again at the end lol

then it turned into her getting seemingly pretty mad....She mentioned work has been rough, plus school..and the shit she has to do for school, as part of her degree..kinda like in field training...and she's been stressed out and alone and whatever..........So I quit replying.

I still think she's somewhat unhappy with herself for the decision she made..I feel like she really does miss me, and to an extent regrets moving out. I could be totally wrong on that, but the shit she was saying in the e-mails, mixed with the shit she's been posting...Seems like she's not a happy camper

I know I shouldn't have replied anyway....I know I shouldn't..but I do anyway.. I need to work on that

Whoa...haha


Alright, well she hit me up and asked about the mail she has been expecting, and it came in today, so I told her "yeah its here, just arrived today"

So she says she's leaving school now and will stop by and get it..Ok..

Well she gets here and I give her the mail, and we're standing in the living room, she's opening her mail....a few minutes pass, some small talk, blah blah..

Me: You smell really good
Her: **looks up and smiles real big and giggles** well thank you

And I can sense she is nervous....fuck, I was too...so I ask "Are you nervous?" haha and she looks at the ground...looks up at me...turns her body towards me and says "yeah...of course I am..Why?"

So I said "cuz I feel it too..."

So we walk outside to her car and we're just bullshitting. then I start walking towards the shed where her bike is.

She lets me walk about 15-20 feet before she starts to follow me and asks "what are you doing?"

Me: I'm getting your bike
Her: Why? What am I going to do with it?
Me: It can fit in your car, thats how we got it here in the first place
Her: **turning around to walk back to the car** Fine, if you don't want me to come back again..


So I stand there for about 20 seconds, then walk back to the car and help her put her seats down and make room for the bike..Then we go back to the shed, and as we're getting the bike I said

Me: You know...If you want to come back here, thats cool.. I would just rather you come here because you actually want to, not because you have to pick up your bike
Her: ***silence***

So we put the bike in the car and we're just standing around..

She calls her friend who she's staying with, and asked what time their show comes on and if they're still going to watch it.. Ends up, no, her friend isnt home so she doesnt have to be there at a certain time to watch the show anymore..

So I asked if she wanted to hang out for a little bit..

Me: Well, since those plans are scrapped, you wana hang out here a little bit?
Her: Well I kinda just want to go home, I have laundry to do and a paper to start writing..I want to get that all started before we go out for **her friends** birthday dinner tonight
Me: Thats cool..I'm fine with that

She then walked up to me and put her arms out to give me a hug and was like..
Her: Well, it was nice to ***I interrupt, turn away a little bit and tell her theres still something inside that I forgot**
Her: What???
Me: Some earrings that you left in the bathroom
Her: blah blah blah


She ended up staying for like 15 more minutes, we're just talking....She's askin how I'm doing, asked about a job..So I teased her about that

Her: So have you found a job yet?
Me: Are you a gold digger? Do you have a job? Huh? Where do you work? How much do you get paid? Did you get a job yet?
Her: **laughing** shut up!!


So I told her I'm still looking and have an interview later this week

Thru the whole time I touched her a little bit...but not much at all...just a little on her arm, and back...She didn't seem to back away from that stuff...


Anyway...after a while we gave eachother a small hug and she said "well I guess I'll see you sometime...."
Me: yeah..I'll see you....sometime. have a good night




It was just weird....I don't know how I'm supposed to feel....But it was nice to see her...I don't think either of us knew how to act tho. I ended up telling her that I'm glad she left instead of hanging out because she looked really pretty and smelled too good for me to contain myself lol I don't know if I should have said that...might have freaked her out. I dont know. All she said was "okay..thankyou" lol

lol your finished... You had a good run tho. Its unfortunate you didn't take the advice i offered.. Watch what happens now.

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sad, but true.....it does still kinda fuck with me a bit.. but.. time will tell what happens.. Part of me is like "damnit.." but another part of me feels like theres just too many emotions between the 2 of us...and it creates a tug of war, which I would assume is normal....but, to what degree? Afterall, she did leave me at a pretty shitty time....so I should be fine knowing thats how shit is...but, its still tough..Pretty much my 1st love..

Hopefully things can work out between me and the dexter chick

yeaa you handed her all the power back on a silver platter.. Thats why she didnt bother staying when you suggested.. Now had you told her you already fowarded the mail, she would of been at your door begging you to let her in.. Possibly crying

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Brother....You've had 8 pages of amazing advice. And you haven't listened..at all! Freeze her out if it isn't too late now, if she does e-mail you or whatever, be vague...dont let her know where a potential job interview is at, what time, what day...Let her guess, make her wonder...

If it is too late, I hope you learned a lot..I've been where you are...always hold your head high

Thank you Dr. Mooney, and Fuze..Thank you. I really appreciate everything, even though I may not have listened to all of it. We will see how things go. The ball is completely in her court...So I guess it's up to her to see for herself what she really wants. I will still keep shit updated as things unfold...I really don't know where its going, if anywhere tho..But thanks again. The bright side, I learned a lot so far..And anyone else who comes to this site with the same/similar situation, has this thread to study.

I'll continue to not initiate contact with her..But if she contacts me, should I completely ignore her, or just be vague with what I say

Ok, since it's now over, and you said she was your first love, the most important advice I can give you, as others have said, is to freeze her, get over her, and find some else, even for a one night stand, just to get the hell over it.

If she gets back to you, and you read what she sends you without being desensitized, you might fall back in love, that will only hurt you. Keep in mind that too often girls like to hurt their exes.

Anyhow, read this: how-to-get-over-your-ex-that-you-loved-vt117281.html . It explains how to get over your ex, and it works good.

agreed

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

A one night stand isn't going to do it.. haven't you seen "forgetting Sarah marshall?" lol I've done this and it doesn't cut it.. PLently of times, i had fuck 4 girls after my ex and i wanted her more and more after each one..

When he does find a girl he actually likes and connects with, that when he'll get over it...

I really wish motown would of listened, to see a completed result of what i spent 8 pages on...

He contradictedthe f*** out of himself, gave her her bike, then still tried to invite her in.. handed her her mail, still trying to spend as much time with her as he could.. For any of you other guys that are too scared to forward the mail, what you would do is, say to her when she tries to come get it is " you can't come get it today, i have to go some where... As a matter fact, I can leave the shed unlocked if you wanna come get your bike. I won't be home though"

Its still a possiblity she'll come back, but she'll be running the relationship every step of the way, and will leave him flat on his ass again if he ever slips up. She's going to want to punish someone because he like hasn't been going so smoothly. And motown will be her primary target.. Its human nature

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You just gotta do you, Motown. You got your own shit to worry about and to get straight. Don't worry about this girl who acts like she is 12. She constantly juggles your balls around at her own dismay, and you let her! You stick up for her, and play right along with her shit. The ball is not in her court. It's in your court! Why have a mindset thaf shes in control? If anything, i'd snap her phone in front of her face Her: Hi
Me: I got a job
Her: It's all your fault you ruined everything.


Fuck that...why do you text her back again? She turns everything around. & don't tell her she smells great, looks good, sounds . The more I read, its just becoming a lost cause.

Dr. Mooney is speaking the truth right here!

Come on Motown, for you, for your inner game and your life, listen and apply what has been suggested here. We're a community: bros before hoes, right? We're helping you out, really!

I really appreciate everything you guys have said, suggested, and advised.. I'm hard headed, and didn't listen to all of it...But I've still got a lot out of this.

I'm not looking for a one night stand...Sure, I'd take one if the opportunity came up with a good looking girl that I knew wasn't trash...But I'm not looking for that really.

And when I said the ball is in her court...Its because:
1) This past week she has made sure she gave notice to everywhere that sends her mail, of her new address.
2) She no longer has anything at my house, therefore, has no reason to come here, unless she actually wants to...If she doesn't want to, thats cool. But from my perspective, if she does come back, I know theres a real reason behind it, rather than her just wanting to come collect some belongings of hers.

Granted, I should not have had her over..Or given her anything...That was one of my mistakes and now I see that lol

I did see a she posted something that said "I wana have an amazing night, like when I was __ years old..Where the fuck did all those go?!"

She was with me during those amazing nights.....and when we took time apart back then, before we ever officially dated....she would mention shit like that on facebook....but she was never able to experience those types of nights with anyone else...then eventually we started to hang out and eventually give eachother a chance in a long term relationship..Seems like the past is coming full circle lol

In other words, we agree that she does not deserve you and that she will never find someone as good as you.

You're the big winner here: you'll move on, and you know that she messed up what you had. You deserve better than her.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, most of them being hot.

I've been following this post for about as long as it has been up. I want to point out something people aren't really catching on to because they probably have never had the opportunity you had. Your obsessing over this girl, your creeping on her tumblr or twitter and your making a big mistake. It becomes an addiction trying to find out what she is thinking about. You sit there at every moment you can seize to know whats on her mind to fulfill your void of not knowing the mystery behind you and her. THIS HAS TO STOP NOW! If you really want to move on, forget that you ever had access to such information and continue on with your life.

You sit here and tell us that you understand the situation and how you messed up... how you plan to change and move on but in reality you really aren't. If you still care as much to get on her tumblr/twitter to see what she's thinking of you then your still head over heels for this girl. I understand though, her being your first love all and you were in a long relationship with her but I'm trying to point out something you probably won't catch on to until later. I just want to save you a lot of time by telling you this.

I've been in a predicament before where I was having some problems with a girl I was talking to for about 5 months. You can't find me on any social networks, I don't enjoy spending countless of hours fascinating over other people's lives. Instead I knew I could find her on twitter where she posted several times an hour how she was feeling. So i basically had full access to how things were between me and her. I used that to my advantage and when it came to me getting over her it was so difficult. I still had emotions for this girl but I knew it wouldn't work. Long story short, before I could start doing the things I knew I needed to be doing, I couldn't do until I forced myself off of that habit. Once I realized the stupidity behind it all and was able to laugh at myself for it I stopped thinking about her and continued my life.

The best piece of advice I can give you is to obviously stop yourself from fascinating over what she does or what she is thinking about. This chick is not good for you and trust the guys on this site. They probably care more deeply about you than that gold-digging, immature, selfish chick you call your first love. If that's the case then I am sure falling in love with the next chick will be easier because you shouldn't stumble upon someone as wack as her.

Good luck in all your future endeavors!