Are you on good terms with your ex girlfriends? Would it be weird if you called them up right now and asked to hang out? Would they laugh in your face?

Not that it really matters, but these are people you spent time and have memories with, good and bad. They may even know some things about you that nobody else does. For this reason, it could be argued that it's more desirable to be on good terms with these types of people. On the other hand, maybe it's better to break connections with them completely and only worry about new connections you will make. I suppose much of it depends on a case-by-case basis, and the type of person you are. Your thoughts and opinions?

Not many of you know me, but I'm a short, but not unattractive computer programmer. Due to my mental perception of myself, I've always portrayed myself as beta and therefore it's been harder for me to land a woman, and when I would have somebody interested in me, I'd become completely needy. When she would inevitably leave me due to my neediness, I would become resentful, the relationships would always end badly, and because of this I am not on good terms with any of my exes.

On one hand, who cares. They're exes for a reason. On the other hand, I think it's always good to be on good terms with people, if possible.

One quote from The Social Network sticks with me. "How do you do this thing where you manage to get all the girls to hate us". Being a somewhat nerdy and introverted computer programmer myself, I can relate. I can't think of a single one of my exes that I can call up and have a conversation with at any time. It's not something I like very much about me. I give all of my power to the woman, and needlessly create negative vibes. In the future I am going to handle relationships differently and retain control.

I am on good terms with them. One specifically who I dated for a long time I would consider one of my closest friends - there is still even a bit of a sexual side to it

The key thing with keeping on good terms with past relationships is the reason it ended - you can't expect to stay friends if someone cheated or similar. If you break up because someone moves away, you just grow apart (basically something that isn't a argument/reason to dislike them) then I don't see any problem with remaining friends.

Yeah, I think it does completely depend on a case-by-case scenario. I also agree that if there is a sexual side there at the beginning, chances are it will still be there later too, even if you guys are just "friends". Funny how things work sometimes.

Depends on the ex. Some hate me, some love me. Over time the hate turns into love

I have ex's begging for my dick... Ex's who I would be quite happy never speaking to again.

I have ex's who won't talk or even look at me. The only ex's I'd ever touch again are the one's who won't communicate with me. One particular ex I'm keeping on the side until I can come back to her. I'll be gone from this place in 6-18 months and the outcome will not matter. There are other ex's I will come back too in ten, twenty years time when they're married with kids - We'll call it a test of skill.

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I've got 99 problems but...

your reasoning for being friends with your exes will hold you back on your journey to get better at game, according to your post is a desperate attempt to get girls or something like that... with that being said i am friend with all of my exes, the problem is when they got remarried or with a new boyfriend and you post a threat in the boyfriend eyes to that relationship..

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Yes and no , I always try and leave it on good terms but break ups can be messy as Madals said

one of my ex's owed me money which i tried to get back (nicely) didnt get it back and she ended up getting with one of my mates in spite

another one was a bit stalkerish so i had to keep the distance

However as you said youve had good times with these people and i believe the key is , is when you bump into them be civil and be happy for them which is why i can still be friendly with some of them

I'm on good terms with all of my exes, I'm sure if I called them right now asking for a favour, or even for money, they would help me out. I've always been good to them, in the relationship and out of it. Nonetheless, as Skills points out, when there is somebody new in their life, I respect that and keep my distance, because I don't want to fuck up their chances at happiness with someone new. Maybe I was lucky and all of my exes are normal people, but this has been experience so far. So yes, ending a relationship is hard and sometimes it doesn't end on good terms, but unless the ending was really catastrophic, there is always a chance to keep them as friends. This exact intimate bond you used to share makes it possible. There need not be anything sexual between you, but if you shared a genuine connection, it will stick and you can honestly be friends later. I'm not saying best friends either, there's a limit how involved you can be depending on all circumstances, but you should be able to keep a normal friendly relationship with normal people.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Depends on the girl and situation. It's about 50/50 for me. I also have a ton of female friends. The people I know who stay friends with their exes generally have a lot of female friends. The ones who don't, also really only hang out with guys unless it's a girl they're trying to sleep with.

Like above: It depends on the girl. Lets say that right now one hates me probably pretty much, one still loves me and with the others its in good terms, like old friends, which have not seen each other for a long time. I am only happy that the one which hates me does not know enough about me to do me some bad.

But even if they all would hate me I would not really care, because I am always trying to find girls which are usually not hanging around in my normal life area, to avoid future complications if something goes wrong.