To make it all short:

Me & My GF broke up - Or had a sort of open relationship/pause during the summer. I fucked a bunch of girls - But was honest about it all the way. She hooked up with one guy - told him that she loved him etc, but when i asked her about it she told me it was nothing and that they only hooked up.. So i believed her and thought it eventually was cool. 3 months ago we got back into an exclusive relationship. Last week she told me she sucked his dick and that she's been lying. I got pissed at her for lying, but it was cool, afterall - It didn't hurt me in anyway other than the thought of her with another guy.. Now.. Yesterday she told me that she's been holding back even more info.. She fucked the guy. Without protection, and didn't check herself for STDs either. This basicly means that she willingly let me run the risk of getting an STD without even being aware of it..

I'm totally fucking mindfucked right now, i'm so bloody confused.. Is she simply a bitch or was she scared of me flipping out and therefore didn't tell me? Any advice on how to trust her again? I really want to trust her again, and just let this go, but perhaps i'm simply being a bitch here and not realizing that it's over? I'm simply loosing all my inner game at the moment, i thought i would never be played, but right now i just feel like a fucking idiot,- i'm simply left speechless, i couldn't even imagine her letting me run the risk of getting STD before this acctually happened. How the fuck can i get back to normal? this is ruining me from the inside

I can understand how it must make you feel. When you invest so much trust in a girl and you feel she's not been honest with you it can hurt and that's very normal. I hope that you don't take offence to this but I think she's just been an idiot. I don't mean to say she is an idiot but she's done something which is very silly.

By the sounds of it she definitely hasn't meant to play you or hurt you and probably really didn't want to betray your trust. The truth of the matter is that she didn't have to confess to what she did, you probably would never shave found out. But she did and that speaks volumes. Do you remember when you were a kid and you did something bad? How you wanted to tell your parents but just couldn't because you were afraid of how they'd react? That's probably how she felt.

If I were you I'd calmly explain to her that to go forward you need her to tell you if she's hiding anything else. She owes you that and it's essential if you're going to lay good foundations for a long lasting relationship. When everything is out in the open you can wipe the slate clean (if that's what you want to do) and move on.

Good luck mate,

GoGetta

Exactly a Kid, are you guys kids?

Either way she not playing you , is just immaturity kicking in the way.


Sit down with her, have open conversation where she tells you everthing or you walk away. No more lies, Then you grab her and you go test for STD, incluiding you.

If I were in your shoes I would be very pissed because she lied to me.

Would tell her why didnt she come up with this sooner! When I have been honest with you.

Now its your call.

I would immediately downgrade her to FB status and start gaming other women. She is being blatantly disrespectful by lying and also putting your health at risk by having unprotected sex with other guys. I'm all for open relationships, but that's just not cool. That's not how functional adults are supposed to act.

If you let her get away with that without some kind of consequence for her actions, then you are rewarding bad behavior. She will learn nothing. You might as well just present her with your balls so she can keep them in her purse.

-Wolf

Thanks alot guys for the thorough replies, this really helps me clear my head.

The thing is - I really - Really want to keep having her as my girlfriend, i don't want her as a FB or even breakup with her, I can't imagine a life without her.. But on the other side I know that i'd never respect myself again if i let this go without any major consequences, i would simply hate myself.. She's going to Denmark for a week this saturday, i think i might tell her that I need a week's pause to clear my mind of this.

Thanks again guys, i'll keep this updated as the situation evolves!

Prime example of why having open relationships are bad.
One you get all emotionally involved then and get angry for her screwing other guys even though you agreed to it.

Then she's getting done in multiple random guys not using protection then coming back to with a possible STD.

Third you actually trusted this girl shame on you.

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Oh, $&% that. The OP posts this gem..

"The thing is - I really - Really want to keep having her as my girlfriend, i don't want her as a FB or even breakup with her, I can't imagine a life without her.."

..and you think this has something to do with his open relationship?! DUDE! This guy has ONEITUS. No wonder this girl is walking all over him.

Open relationships can be awesome.

-Wolf

I'm getting quite confused by this, i've never even thought that this was a case of oneitis, perhaps it is - but how can it be possible? I still flirt with other girls, i'm not needy, i just really-really like the girl, i've never met anyone like her.. but perhaps that's enough to call this a oneitis.. I also have lots of others girls around me constantly whom i can easely attract.. I guess i need some time to clear my mind..

Anyways - I talked to her yesterday, and said something along the lines of this "You stepped all over my dick, spat me in the face and thought that i'd take you Louie V shopping for it. This is simply so disrespectful i'm left speechless here -, and if this isn't crystal clear for you then what we have is over. Other than that - if I can't know that you've learnt a lesson here, and if i can't know that you respect and know me well enough to know what's fly with me, and what's not then i'll never be able to respect myself again. I therefore give you one chance to prove me that you're worth keeping. You've lost the perk of my trust now, and there's nothing that seperates you from other girls in my mind now, - Other than the fact that we've been dating for a long time. Therefore i give you one last chance to prove your worth to me, prove that you're better than the other girls that i'll be flirting with, and work to show me that you're the best of them all. if you can't accomplish that, or if you don't want to even try then i'm out right now.

She went all quiet, agreed to what i said - and said that she'd do anything to keep me, she then started crying saying she was sorry, that she just wished she could go back and be truthfull from the start etc.. I now have a week to sort out my mind.. I think i need it.

cheers, koff!

The bully pulpit often works--in the short term.

I hope this isn't a long term strategy for you. If it is, most likely she will become more secretive, and hesitant to be honest with you. If the real concern her was that she was exposing you to a risk of STDs, you didn't express it very well.

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- Lux et Veritas -

She probably did not mean for it to go too far with this guy. But it did and she's likely afraid of your reaction if you find out what really happened between them. Why not ask her to tell you everything and have it out once and for all. Then you can decide how to proceed.

Help, all in same year 12 class me her and a guy best friend, she spends more friend talking time to him in class, Im dating her have sex on weekends and spend most time with her at lunch, but hes admitted he likes her she knows it but she is so certain the they are just bestfriends and not to worry, hes amount of sleezy jokes has picked up lately, how do i make it obvious to him to back the fuck off without the whole being mean to her "friend" any advice please give

LOL

"did not mean"

i love how women take no responsibility for their actions.

IT WAS ALL HIM! NOT HER!

/chuckle

ASD

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Of course she meant what she did. She weren't even drunk according to herself and it was def. not a rape. It was out of pure excitement/attraction/horniness i don't know. Perhaps she just wanted to be jackhammered, who knows! but out of free will? defenitly haha! Anyways - That's not the problem - Pardon me if you misunderstood me; She was free to fuck any guy at the time. She could have been team tagged by the Jonas Brothers with spiderman as a cameraman and i wouldn't have shit to say, the problem is that she was lying - And in the process exposing me to possible STDs. Anyways, thanks alot that you took the time to reply!


At the moment i'm starting to realize that it's no use to keep a girl that would expose me to such a risk and lying repeatedly. There's a bunch of girls that are better than her at this point, and to continue dating such a girl would involve heavy rationalizing "she's unique" - "she might be the one" - "But i'll never find anyone like her again" - And i guess that would end up with me being naive and getting fucked over again.

- Koff

maybe let her know that to be in an exclusive relationship, you need truth and trust. try make her realise that you deserve nothing but respect from a girl who is going to be privileged enough to date you!

don't trust anyone