| This is really for the relationship section but I cannot post there due to post count.
My girlfriend and I have been together for well over a year, we get on great and both feel we are right for one another to the extent we've actually discussed having kids in the future.
However, there's a problem.
I'm a touchy feely guy and 98% of the time I have to initiate intimacy and sex. If I don't, it does not happen.
I have stopped initiating for a couple of weeks and more on occasion and still nothing. We simply don't have sex and nothing is said.
I understand that many women think it's the man's job to be dominant and do all the work but believe me, it gets VERY old. Almost to the point it makes you wonder if they're really interested or it's a chore for them! A man needs to feel desired too.
We have spoken about it briefly on a couple of occasions and she reaffirms she doesn't like initiating in case of rejection etc.
In the beginning we'd lay together on the couch or something and I'd be running my hands all over her or I'd tickle her back in bed. Overall just being very affectionate. She would lap this up, yet NEVER do it in return, she'd never stroke me for more than a second or two or if I asked her to tickle something, it'd be so half hearted I'd rather she didn't bother. I'd also be 'expected' to do something in return later too or at the same time which detracts from an already poor tickle or whatever from her.
So basically I have got increasingly fed up with this and backed right off with the stroking and back tickles etc.
However, we cuddle a lot! We both initiate this in equal measures. If we're laying on the sofa or in bed we will be holding hands which is much more likely to be initiated by her, she will do this in public too, always wanting to hold my hand. She will also brush up against me occasionally or touch me randomly.
Yet she will not instigate sex or stroke me. Basically, put any effort into making me feel good.
If I start playing with her, she won't touch me and as bad as it sounds, I have to actually guide her hand to my penis which she reluctantly touches or tells me to wait.
I've 'asked' for blowjobs despite her telling me she will do them of her own accord. Even said she would initiate that and that she likes to do it. I'm yet to EVER experience that one though! Not once has she ever touched my penis without me touching her or making the move first.
Blowjobs just like being tickled or stroked, are also half hearted.
Despite her not initiating it, she loves sex as much as I do, we both feel good during and after. She will orgasm, albeit not through penetration unless she rubs her clit at the same time or I do other things to ensure she gets hers every time. I know I do my job right at least! Lol
I guess I can sum this all up to being selfish. She wants to feel good on all levels but isn't concerned with me. So I'm not holding out much hope of getting over this one.
However, I've tried various things to make her more proactive. I've tried being allusive and tried to be obvious to the point I'm actually initiating again! To even being a bit mean by negging her about we don't have sex anymore and also making it obvious I'm getting up to go for a wank rather than try it on with her.
She gets annoyed when I wank unless she's on the blob but if I infer it's easier than trying to get her to initiate it falls on deaf ears.
Is there any game or trick or anything other than find someone who's more proactive about sex? Which isn't going to happen.
Thanks!
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CHAT