She will stay with you as long as her interest level and attraction levels are high. You keep those interest levels high through great sex and maintaining the alpha qualities which attracted her to you in the first place.

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So I'm doing just fine on the sex. In fact I've never seen or heard a girl like this. I'm not bragging this girl is a crazy nympho! But am I the same alpha who started the relationship? I feel I'm slipping.

When I met her I had left a relationship 48 hours before. I'd spent the previous weekend with that girl. We said good bye and I was kind of cut up. I then met this new girl and I carried a genuine air of 'I don't give a fuck'. Whether she met up with me or not I really didn't care.

I did my own thing and made her do a lot of the leg work and chasing e.g. travelling to see me, cooking me meals. I went out with the boys and took the piss at times rocking up to her place late at night drunk after being on another date, which I preceded to tell her about. Despite this, or maybe because of it, her interest levels were through the roof. I had a series of fun compliance tests like asking her to meet me in a short skirt without panties (I then had fun taking her to meet my friends for the first time ). She got her nipple pierced after I told her that it would really turn me on. She's a good girl who likes to be submissive and realises that relationships work well when we revel in our own unique masculine and feminine qualities. One leader and one follower.

The thing is as we get closer it's impossible to maintain my original alpha 'I do whatever I like' attitude. I'm more invested. I care about her. I don't feel like I could happily turn my back on this now. I don't need her, sure, but I do like having her in my life. Over time these feelings are only going to get stronger. I'm going to care for her more. I may feel annoyed if you chooses to not make time to see me. 6 weeks after we met I took off to go rock climbing for a couple of months. I'm already feeling like I don't want to be away from her for that long again. I also can't maintain my 'we always do crazy things together' frame. You can only show her new things and activities once...

So how do you stay alpha when you're becoming closer and possibly falling in love? At the moment I'm seeing her a couple of times a week. No sappy 'Goodnight baby text messages'. No calling her on the phone to just chat, only to arrange the next meet up. I've also framed it in such a way that I don't want this from her (she's been very low maintenance so far so hasn't been an issue). I'm also keeping an air of playfulness and flirtyness. We make fun of each other and I tell her off if I pick up on her trying to make me do something or testing me. I tease her when she tries to be dominant and call the shots. I 'punish' her in the bedroom if she steps out of line (she loves to be spanked). I think I'm playing it well but I have to keep telling myself 'stay alpha, stay alpha'.

The final point is she is now asking me what we are. She says it's starting to feel a little silly referring to me as her 'friend'. Do I accept the girlfriend / boyfriend labels? To my mind it's great as things are. We are really close, great sex, no commitment, no possibility of breaking up as we aren't going out, open to see other people (although I don't feel the need to make moves on other girls at the moment). Is this commitment phobia or ultimate alphaness? What benefits does a relationship give me? Is she likely to change the second we become a couple?

Thoughts, laughs, suggestions, criticisms all exceptionally welcome.

Originally I was going to just jump into this thread to see what the "experts" say cos im in the same position..

But Fuk that.. I will stand in here and give you what I did..will do.. and think.. See how it gels with the rest.

What I did,

Met a girl that I liked, saw something in and wanted more than a fling/ONS, 5 weeks later said that she is now my girlfriend.. 5 months on, We have an awesome relationship.. no arguments (NOT 1).. extremely healthy sex life - we are falling in love.

What I will do.

Tell her I love her. When I feel like it.. continue to be with her until she pisses me off.. upsets me beyond repair.. or decides she's not into it. Then I move on
If that doesn't happen.. I will move to he next step in a normal relationship. All gauged by my concept of happiness.

What I think..

Being "alpha" is not about putting on a front.. it's not about winning games.. to be "alpha" you actually have to be it.. it's about being strong in your reality, knowing what you want - getting it! , leading, being happy.. in control of your own future with the ability to enhance/enrich the lives of those you love whilst being able to compromise and be compassionate towards those who need it.

When you get into a relationship with a girl the dynamics change.. This is fine, you either begin to fall in love/ or you don't.... then you bail.. this is normal! you're supposed to become over time somewhat reliant on each other.. it's the whole point!

if you don't want that kind of commitment, fuk random bitches..

Being concerned.. about her "hurting" or "leaving" is natural Key word, Concerned! worrying about it to the point of stupidity is just that.. stupid.. you cant control everything.. you need to allow a little caution to the wind.. You will struggle with this because you no longer have abundance, you've committed to 1 girl.. christ, i'd be sad if anyone I cared about "left"

BUT! it's not going to dictate my life.. I truly know that if that was to happen i'd bounce back..

I'm not afraid to show my girl that I care/love her.. I am not afraid to put myself on the line and be vulnerable if I feel she's worth it.. If It doesn't work.. then fucck it.. next.. Life is all about experience, roll with the punches and grow..



My advice is go with what you want son, if you like her.. commit to her, if you are making up reasons why not.. move the hell on, you're not ready.. if you're afraid of losing this "alpha" persona.. work on yourself to BECOME Alpha! not just adopt the triats you think an Alpha should be. - I know this because if you were truly "alpha" you'd not ask this question in the first place.

It's not what you say it's what you do.. and you are what you do repetitively.

Hi, I´ve been going through a similar problem lately.

I´ve worked hard to become someone that can attract and establish relationships with 10s. The drawback of dating a 10 is that you´re dating a 10.

I hate the painful pattern of jealousy, handling myself with her at clubs and other social events where very often she is the single most desired girl in the room. She is the kind of girl who feeds from male attention and uses every opportunity to make them fall for her...

So I constantly find myself loosing alpha atitude, because I´m addicted to the feeling of being the man who gets the girl.

The other day, I decided to test her, saying we should be just friends, to see her reaction. She got so upset that now she is retaliating me being even more teaser, going to clubs with her female friends and texting me stuff like "I´ve just rocked in the pole dancing (picture of her on pole.jpg)"

My instinct says that she might truly like me, otherwise I would be history, but I can´t help feeling jealous and act somewhat not alpha in the last feel days.

I like the above advice [to be "alpha" you actually have to be it.. it's about being strong in your reality, knowing what you want - getting it!]. But its hard to do it, especially when the perfect babe loves to have sex with you and play with your mood like that...

My ongoing experiment is getting back on the "game" mindset, and to feed from these negative emotions for things like training even harder at the gym, approach more girls, get new clothes, have myself a tan... At least if that doesn´t work for her, it will make me more resiliant and help me move on faster...

I´d like to invite the community to share stories and advices on this... Thanks!

Look. Being alpha does not mean you can't be in love. That's ridicolous. In fact, if you do it right, you can pull the best alpha side of you when you're in love. An alpha is not afraid of commitments. He just commits when he wants.

Now you ask yourself. Is this a girl to whom I would commit in a serious relationship, or not. If no, then I'm sorry but I can't really help because I don't do FBs, if yes, then just go for it. Relationship is fun. Of course you need to put more effort into it then just being fuck buddies, but it's far less complicated, and well... I don't know sex just feels so much better if you do it with passionate emotions.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

Yes, relationships are fun, until they are over. The worst is when you end the deal, she comes to chase you back for months, and the moment she realizes that you're actually falling back for her, she tells you she's fucking another guy. In the meanwhile of course, she's been telling you that she loves you and that she would do anything to be with you, not to mention the jealousy crisis when you add the "wrong person" as a friend on facebook...

Basically, if you like to be heartbroken, go for relationships. Otherwise, that can go to hell until you're older and want to marry. You only live once, and only have ten to fifteen years to get laid as many times as possible and with as many different girls as possible, before you have to start your family in a serious manner.

TL;DR : you have time for relationships when you're older (35+). If you know how to game, you know how to have the girl you want, and when you want a relationship, something serious that you know will break your heart once it's over, you will know how to get into that relationship.

Life is short guys, let's go for one night stands, and pleasure ourselves! We'll have the rest of our lives to having to pleasure our wife and kids!

LoL Dude. My life goal is not to fuck as many chicks as I can. That's not what makes me feel happy. What makes me feel happy is fucking one chick at a time with whom we love each other. And all three break-ups I had in my life went well. You just need to find a girl who is not a lunatic lol. (1 time I was dumped, the other 2 times I dumped the chick. But nothing crazy... lol)

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

It's not a life goal, only temporary entertainment. I know how it feel to have sex with someone you love: it sure is better at first, but in the long run, it gets a bit too repetitive. As you correctly pointed out, my ex was a lunatic, and worst, in my opinion, didn't want to try anything new in bed. Plain old boring, but love blinds you until you hit the pole while going 100km/h !

Well, maybe for you. I don't find it boring at all. My relationships are about emotions and sex is only the cream on the cake. I'm going to stop arguing with you because it has got absolutely 0 points. You're happy the way you do it, and I'm happy the way I do it and it's just fine this way. I never told anyone not to do FBs if he wanted to, I just tried pointing out some benefits of a relationship as OP asked for it

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

You need to tell your woman she's a whore, and fuck her like one. Tell her that her pussy and ass belong to you, and fuck her like you mean it. Lick that pussy and that ass. Make her cum. Make her suck your dick. Actually, make her want to suck your dick. Make her say she wants you to come all over her, then come all over her.

That's alpha in my book.

As long as we're both happy with our ways, it's all good!

I'm confused. Is it not-alpha to care about a girl who quite clearly has fallen for you? It is not-alpha to not be able to turn your back on this girl? Is it not-alpha for your feelings towards her to grow as you spend more time ith her? Is it not-alpha to fall in love with a girl who most likely reciprocates those feelings? Sometimes I think people push the term a little too far. It would be beta to call her every other second stating how much you want her like a love sprung male, but if you let your feelings known to her when you want, and without seeming needy, then it's all good.

Being alpha just means that you need to be the one all the girls want to suck up to. You have to be the attraction magnet. And your girlfriend, if you have one in a LTR, must understand that at any moment, you can GTFO and see other girls if she no longer fits exactly what you want from her.

So yes, you can very well care about a girl who has fallen for you, just as long as you make sure understands that if she slips out of line, you're getting the hell out and never seeing her again.

Yes, it is alpha (i'd even say normal) that your feelings grow proportionally to the amount of time you spent with that girl, as long as she's your girlfriend. But again, your girlfriend must know/understand that you can't be taken for granted, that you aren't needy of her.

Being in love doesn't necessarily mean being needy, far from it!